Thanks for your supportive responses everyone.
This whole thing has thrown me for a loop, but on the weekend my partner and I volunteered at a local community center's kids holiday party, where there were a few kids I know in the community who have been adopted and who have special needs -- and we have decided to at least proceed with our planned iui this month (we're already on CD6), and know that if it works, then we will have a child who will be loved, and wanted, and we will make it work. I've been doing alot of research on the local FX community, potential therapies and resources - it helps some.
That said, if I come back with a dx of a premutation carrier in January, then I think we will probably change our plan drastically - and probably switch to IVF, or just give up on getting me pregnant altogether (and instead focus on getting my partner pregnant). As much as I feel like we can adjust to have a child with special needs - I don't want to be making a baby under as much stress and worry as I have been in this past week. But that's a whole bunch of other sadness for me -- between POF and this I've been crying alot and feel like the universe doesn't want me to be pregnant!
But yeah - bottom line it looks like sperm sorting may not actually be an option. We'll ask, but I don't think it's common..... bah.
Thanks for your support.