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12-10-2012 at 10:53 AM
MommyMals2...
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MommyMals2012 is not online. Last active: 12-10-2012, 1:08 PMNewbie

Am I wrong??? The classic holiday drama! advice please?

Hi All,

I have  a question that I need some advice on. My sister is going through a rough year this year (going from having her own place, to loosing everything) she is slowly trying to get back on her feet. She and I have 9 month old child( I do as well, they  are 3 days apart) she also has a 9 year old, a 7 year old as well as a 6 year old. well this year is my fiancee and myself's first christmas with our son. She wants to spend christmas with us, but am I wrong for wanting it to just be my fiancee and my son opening gifts at our house? I am going to spend the rest of the day with my sister and our family because we will eat our family dinner with our grandparents and our extended family, but I think that I hurt her feelings by tellling her that it would be better if we had christmas morning reserved for our son, what do you guys think?


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12-10-2012 at 11:49 AM
acaudill75
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Can you have a pre party before she gets there, and open some of your gifts, and then when she gets there, open the rest?

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12-10-2012 at 11:54 AM
MommyMals2...
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MommyMals2012 is not online. Last active: 12-10-2012, 1:08 PMNewbie

thank so much, that sounds like a great idea. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make her feel bad you know

 


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12-10-2012 at 12:26 PM
acaudill75
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:) I hope it all works out!

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12-10-2012 at 2:08 PM
crystaleye...
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crystaleyes39 is not online. Last active: 06-10-2013, 12:05 PMBronze
My mom every year before my daughters were born (they're the first grandkids) always has Xmas Morning by them with all of my siblings and we open gifts / hangout for the day.  This year she tried to do the same thing, but I made it clear now that the girls are here we want to start our own traditions and open gifts from us and santa at OUR house in the morning than we'll still go by them come early afternoon. I dont think that's too much to ask.  I think your sister having her own family should get it, especially because you will see them all the rest of the day. :)

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12-10-2012 at 10:37 PM
4ever Youn...
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4ever Young is not online. Last active: 06-13-2013, 10:29 AMNewbie
No your not wrong. It's perfectely normal to want to start your own Christmas morning traditions with your own family. Your sister probably just wants the same thing and feels she doesn't have a place or people to share a tradition like that with right now. If this happened to me, I would wake up, open some of the gifts and take a few pictures with just my family then invite her over for a late breakfast and open the rest of the gifts. But don't feel bad if that's not what you want to do. She should understand and hopefully things will clear up in the next few years and she'll make her own traditions.
 
12-11-2012 at 2:20 AM
KateLouise
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KateLouise is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 3:54 AMGold

Perfectly understandable to want to have your own family thing with your LO.

Maybe work out what is important to you about that morning eg opening presents, going to church, having family breakfast etc etc Then invite your sister to join you after you've done your thing (if you want to)

A first Christmas is a big deal. I remmeber with DD1s first Christmas Eve I sat in the lounge with the Christmas lights on, some really pretty Christmas music and nursed her before bed. DH was yabbering about something from the next room, and I just tuned him out and snuggled my girl, but when he came to see why I wasn't answering him he absolutely got it.

So I guess I'm saying, those moments are precious, but if you focus on working out what you want and creating it then you should still have space to reach out to your sister.


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12-13-2012 at 10:52 AM
NiniJ55
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NiniJ55 is not online. Last active: 04-03-2013, 2:58 PMGold

I don't think you are wrong.  But considering eveything thing she can gone through this year, personally I would accomadate her and let her share chirstmas with you and your family at home.

Another option is to open gifts before she arrives so that you still share that special moment together.  and you have breakfast at your home with her and her children after that.


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12-23-2012 at 7:19 PM
raefre
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I think your own traditions are important; I think, while others may be hurt, will understand your desire to have your own family moment and your own family traditions.  Just be upfront and clear with everyone; sooner is better than later. 

I hated going to my grandparents' house on Christmas morning and told my parents when I got married that when I had children I would not be going anywhere (people can come to us and both Christmas Eve and Christmas afternoon are available for everyone).  My mom and dad are respecting that and will be coming over in the afternoon.  We will spend Christmas Eve with the in-laws. 


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