Does she have a history of reflux? Have her ears been checked recently? Both times DD1 has had an ear infection, she would scream bloody murder when we tried to lay her down to sleep. She didn't show any symptoms during the day.
Yes! DS was doing this a couple weeks ago, not quite to the extent as your LO, but similar. I couldn't rock him with him laying down, but sitting up head resting on my chest, and was very difficult to get to sleep, even though he was clearly exhausted.
We went to the dr for his swallowing problems, and she noticed his ears were red! He's on antibiotics, and much much better. He never showed any symptoms during the day either, no pulling on his ears, no acting like he was in pain, no fever...
Hang in there Mama!
ps- I think it's normal to be angry at your significant other in your situation. I was the same way when FI was working, and I was on maternity leave. I was EBF and it didn't make sense for him to wake up in the middle of the night with DS, to feed a bottle when I would have had to pump it for him anyways. I was so jealous that he got to sleep through the night. Just make sure you share your feelings, and ask for him to help in other ways when he is home and awake - even if it's not baby related, like dishes, laundry, whatever needs to get done. Our biggest problem is that I hold a ton of resentment against FI for those 6 months of no sleep... don't let it get like that!