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12-12-2012 at 9:15 AM
kcox123
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When does m/c rate drop significantly?

I should know this and obviously won't rely just on you guys for the info but I'm trying to get my head around when it will be relatively safe to tell our kids about the coming baby. I know the general sentiment is after the first trimester but honestly I expect I'll be full-on showing by 12 weeks since this is my 4th. Is there a specific week mark (hopefully a bit prior to that) where the rate drops?
-K Mom to 3 girls ages 2, 4 & 6!  
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12-12-2012 at 9:17 AM
mrsf123
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My doctor says that when you see the heartbeat the chances of miscarriage decrease significantly.  Are you having any 1st Tri ultrasounds?
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12-12-2012 at 9:18 AM
kcox123
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Yeah - Dec. 26th. I'll be about 8.5 weeks along then.
-K Mom to 3 girls ages 2, 4 & 6!  
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12-12-2012 at 9:19 AM
Reallynerv...
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Someone posted the numbers for me when I asked this question but of course now I can't find the post.  I believe it was 15% before heartbeat, <5% after a heartbeat, and 1% after the first trimester.  Hope that helps!
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12-12-2012 at 9:25 AM
Liz4444
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After 12 weeks, the chance of miscarriage is 3%.  It is 5% from 6-12 weeks, 10% at 3-6 weeks, and 75% 1-3 week. 

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12-12-2012 at 9:26 AM
dreadiemam...
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Idk. I would say it depends on how old your kids are. My mom's policy was that she would wait until someone asked and then tell us. That was probably because she had 2 late m/cs though.

I know that your chances drop significantly after 12 weeks and before that I'm not too sure.

 
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12-12-2012 at 9:32 AM
purplepean...
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Here is the chart, but I think its low. 

http://www.pregnancycharts.org/miscarriage.php 
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12-12-2012 at 9:32 AM
kcox123
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My girls are 2, 4 & 6. The 2 year old won't FULLY get it probably until the baby arrives. The others will though. Honeslty the 4 and 6 year olds could handle even bad news if I had to give it to them but obviously I'd prefer to avoid that. :)

Thanks for the info ladies. Sounds like between what you've said and what I've been reading elsewhere I would probably be ok anytime after the heartbeat/u/s but if I'm not showing by then I may hold off as long as I can. I just don't want to be outed to my kids by a friend saying "OMG you're pregnant" randomly around the holidays. But I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. We're telling our parents at Christmas (privately) b/c we'd tell them even if we get bad news at the U/S.
-K Mom to 3 girls ages 2, 4 & 6!  
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12-12-2012 at 9:33 AM
homebird
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This chart was helpful to me:

http://www.pregnancycharts.org/miscarriage.php 
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12-12-2012 at 9:34 AM
homebird
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purplepeanut6:

Here is the chart, but I think its low. 

http://www.pregnancycharts.org/miscarriage.php 

whoops, lol. you beat me to it. :) 
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12-12-2012 at 9:48 AM
ZacksBride
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overall, about 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, with the vast majority of these being early chemical pregnancies.  After seeing the heartbeat at 8 weeks (better odds if HB seen after 8, than say at 6 weeks) the risk drops to around 5%.  After 12 weeks, the rate drops to around 1%
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12-12-2012 at 9:58 AM
CarolynL8
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I believe my doc said there's a 20% rate before you hear the heartbeat and a 5% rate after you hear the heartbeat.
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12-12-2012 at 10:58 AM
tmsgrl
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This is my 4th too and my kids are roughly the same age as yours ( a bit older).  I was faced with the same dilemma but I just waited as long as I could.  I did the Materniti21 at 12 weeks and had the results at 13 weeks.  I told them soon after that.  The interesting part though - they had no idea.  My DH asked them :do you notice anything different about mom lately?" and one of my daughter's actually said "she has been working out more?".  The were totally oblivious to the fact that I was spending a lot of time on the couch and had a belly!
 
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12-12-2012 at 11:25 AM
diana.fili...
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Seeing the heartbeat is the biggest significant drop in m/c rate. 
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12-12-2012 at 11:30 AM
California...
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Liz4444:
After 12 weeks, the chance of miscarriage is 3.nbsp; It is 5 from 612 weeks, 10 at 36 weeks, and 75 13 week.nbsp;

This makes more sense.
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12-12-2012 at 11:32 AM
SkyBee
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Liz4444:

After 12 weeks, the chance of miscarriage is 3%.  It is 5% from 6-12 weeks, 10% at 3-6 weeks, and 75% 1-3 week. 

This.
 
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12-12-2012 at 11:51 AM
McFelix571...
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It's nice to see this. My dr is so conservative about statistics (which I understand), but it's nice to see more optimistic stats.

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12-12-2012 at 12:10 PM
kcox123
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This is good to hear. I am almost certain though there's no way I'll make it to 12/13 weeks. I am usually showing by 10-11 weeks. And although my kids may not notice it - our friends and the folks at the daycare will. People have NO filter. And me being the one who drops them off and picks them up each day - my body will give me away. Unless the temps drop dramatically in the next weeks and I have an excuse to be bundled up like an eskimo everytime I'm there.:)

That's funny they guessed "working out more?" LOL.
-K Mom to 3 girls ages 2, 4 & 6!  
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12-13-2012 at 11:52 AM
PetesAngel
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I told my kids around 8-9 weeks. They are 5 and 7 and were starting to realize something was up. I has 3 u/s prior to telling them because I had an ectopic and then I had some light spotting. After seeing a strong heartbeat, I felt like it was time to tell them. Besides the ectopic, I had one m/c so we did talk previously about the fact that sometimes God takes the baby to be with him before it is born. My son asked if God was going to take this baby too and it broke my heart, but I thought honesty was important so I told him, things looked really good and it always helps to pray but it wasn't impossible. Every time they talk about it, I worry a little that something will happen and I will have to break their hearts but I know that whatever God gives us we will celebrate or get through together.
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