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12-13-2012 at 11:36 AM
notquitebl...
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First Tri: Expectations v. Reality - Share Yours Too

On this, my LAST DAY in the first trimester I wanted to leave you all with some parting thoughts derived from my vast wisdom obtained in nearly 9 weeks being pregnant.  I thought about/wanted to be pregnant for a long time before I actually got there so I had a ton of expectations and here's how it all turned out.  Other later first trimester girls please feel free to share your expectations v. reality too.
 
Expectation: I thought it would mean more.
 
I assumed that the minute that stick turned pink I would automatically feel connected to the life growing inside me  I would talk to it and start daily meditations so that I'd have the most zen mother/child relationship EVER because it started from day one.
 
Reality: Meh.  I'm still happy I'm pregnant but life goes on and other stuff happens and you don't think about the darned fetus all of the time.  Don't feel guilty.  You still have time to bond...like forever.
 
Expectation: I thought I would be the healthiest pregnant woman ever.
 
Reality: Sigh. I'm not sure how I thought I could erase 32 years of crappy habits overnight.  I cut out caffeine and alcohol so I'm doing good.  I was also really into this V8 juice that has your daily servings of fruits and vegetables for a few weeks.  I didn't work out so much at first because I was busy, and then because I got the Cold of Death which couldn't be cured with the usual good drugs, and then because I started bleeding and was put on limited duty.  I still didn't gain any weight so it's all good in the hood.
 
Expectation: I could not WAIT to buy maternity clothes.  Show off my cute bump!
 
Reality: You look exactly the same.  No, really.  I lost weight even.  I still did buy a few things.  A maternity tank top from Old Navy is good to keep your pooch contained under your clothes but my regular tanks still work too.  Everything else I bought looks ridiculous on me, even though I now have a pretty sizeable bump.  Maternity clothes are designed for a big bump, not my tangerine sized fetus.  Dresses are good.  My two favorite black pants stopped fitting yesterday at 12 weeks, 2 days but I had another pair that rides lower and should get a few more weeks out of it.  Seriously save your money.  People will give you stuff anyway.
 
Expecations: I would not WAIT to buy baby stuff.  I had hundreds of things mentally bookmarked and ready to go as soon as I had the BFP.
 
Reality: Meh.  Let's see what the sex is first.  Or let's see what I get at the shower.  I don't want to store a bunch of crap in my small apartment for the next 6 months and we're hopefully moving soon anyway. 
 
Expectations: I know everything about pregnancy and therefore won't panic.
 
Reality: I did so much reading that I assumed I would know when and if to freak out when crazy stuff went down.  Wrong.  I had spotting for two days and was all "this is nothing" about it.  I silently judged others who composed panicked spotting posts.  Then I woke up at 4 in the morning with horrible cramps and the spotting had gotten much worse.  My husband was on a red eye flight and I was freaking out.  I knew the right thing to do was to wait and call the doctor (since I wasn't filling a pad an hour or in unbearable pain) but for a minute I thought that I wasn't getting back to bed and the ER is open so why not?  The calm rational side of me decided finally to go back to sleep and several hours later my doctor got me in for an ultrasound.  By that time my husband was able to come too so it worked out.  But I get it.  Freaking out happens.  I am still having cramping and have a bleed in my placenta so even being in the second trimester tomorrow doesn't make me feel too much better.  Sigh.  Maybe at 32 weeks I can calm down?
 
Expectations: I was sure I would get morning sickness.  I had Preggie Pops sitting in my Amazon cart forever.
 
Reality: No morning sickness at all.  Haters gonna hate.
 
Good bye cruel first trimester!  Hope to see you in a couple of years!

TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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12-13-2012 at 11:47 AM
amarissa85
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Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.
12-13-2012 at 11:48 AM
mystererae
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Haha, love this. Envious that you didn't gain weight or get morning sickness. I thought I'd gain a couple pounds at most, as I am a very conscientious eater, and I expected to get nauseous but thought it'd come in occasional waves and not be an all-day, all-consuming thing. Oh well! 

Congrats and off you go! 


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BFP #2: 10/28/12 EDD: 07/09/13
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12-13-2012 at 11:49 AM
SkyBee
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amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

What she said.


 
12-13-2012 at 11:51 AM
notquitebl...
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amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

Maybe I'd feel more bonded if I had three tickers. Hmm The post was TIC genius.


TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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12-13-2012 at 11:51 AM
tokenhoser
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SkyBee:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

What she said.

Yeah, geez NQB how can you not LOVE EVERY MINUTE NO MATTER WHAT?!!!

 

My biggest shock is that time #2 really is different that time #1. Morning sickness bites the big one, and I didn't have it at all last time.

12-13-2012 at 11:53 AM
notquitebl...
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tokenhoser:

My biggest shock is that time #2 really is different that time #1. Morning sickness bites the big one, and I didn't have it at all last time.

::sticks fingers in ears::


TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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12-13-2012 at 12:06 PM
LADY324
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Thank you for this!!  I think you described exactly how I feel right now!!  And I had all of the same expectations as you. 

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12-13-2012 at 12:10 PM
stargazer7...
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tokenhoser:
SkyBee:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

What she said.

Yeah, geez NQB how can you not LOVE EVERY MINUTE NO MATTER WHAT?!!!

 

My biggest shock is that time #2 really is different that time #1. Morning sickness bites the big one, and I didn't have it at all last time.



Exactly this! I also thought I'd be all "been there, done that" calm and cool this time around and for some reason I find myself freaking out more over little thing because "that didn't happen last time!!!"

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12-13-2012 at 12:34 PM
ZacksBride
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SkyBee:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

What she said.

 

wow.  uptight a bit people?  it was meant to be a joke. lighten up.

as for me, i'm with the others in that round 2 is definitely worse than my first pregnancy.  i am nauseated all.the.time and barely felt sick at all in first tri last time :( 


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12-13-2012 at 1:01 PM
jyparker72...
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This is great!


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12-13-2012 at 1:20 PM
JCWhitey
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notquiteblushing:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

Maybe I'd feel more bonded if I had three tickers. Hmm The post was TIC genius.

This one made me laugh.  Thanks!  :)

I'm constantly looking at my husband and then pointing at my ute and saying "you did this to me you jerk!".  For which I get a smile and he says "yup, I sure did!".  Do I love my baby?  Yup!  Doesn't kill my sense of humor at all.  At least not yet.  Is that a second trimester symptom??


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I believe in a lot of things. I believe in fresh tennis balls, the healing power of bunnies, and that the novels of Susan Sontag are something I'll never read. In fact, I don't even know who Susan Sontag is. What is she... like... a painter? I believe in Crystal Lite because I believe in ME. I believe in the movies of Val Kilmer, though these days it ain't so easy. I believe in Darren Sproles, the word "dabble", the first season of "Silk Stockings", and big, warm, moist, gooey chocolate chip cookies that melt in your mouth and all over your face. 

12-13-2012 at 1:29 PM
nerdosauru...
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notquiteblushing:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

Maybe I'd feel more bonded if I had three tickers. Hmm The post was TIC genius.

 

Hahahah.. that gave me a good laugh!  Thanks ;) 


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12-13-2012 at 1:50 PM
pepomntpat
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SkyBee:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

What she said.

LOL! You'd really hate me then. I might have even used a worse word when I got my BFP. I'm feeling more zen and happy now, but not at the beginning.

Thank you for this post.  It was light hearted, amusing and very true. FWIW, I had a little nausea with DD and have absolutely none with this one so long as I eat every 2 hours.


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12-13-2012 at 2:01 PM
HappyBeagl...
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Great post! I totally agree with the bits that I've encountered. I'll just add one of my own:

Expectation - I'd be all glowing and healthy looking

Reality - I'm permanently nauseous/throwing up, have spots, dry and pasty skin and look like death warmed up!


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12-13-2012 at 2:54 PM
LeapOfFait...
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Thank you for sharing!

Unfortunately, a few people have their maternity undies in a bunch...but this truly was fun to read and good for you for getting out all of your thoughts.

Enjoy 2nd trimester! That was my favorite time in my last pregnancy!


 
12-13-2012 at 7:32 PM
FinalllyAM...
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Awesome post. Cracked me up. Thanks for sharing!


 
12-13-2012 at 8:34 PM
Shayliz
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As someone who had a Zofran filled 1st 2nd and part of 3rd Tri, I am totally drinking haterade on your no morning sickness piece.

Enjoy 2nd Tri!
 
12-13-2012 at 9:53 PM
BlueJewelM
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notquiteblushing:

amarissa85:
Thanks for those pearls of wisdom. Reality: I would never call my baby a "darned" fetus no matter how early in my pregnancy I was.

Maybe I'd feel more bonded if I had three tickers. Hmm The post was TIC genius.

Bahahahaha!  LOVE IT.  I totally feel not pregnant.  Off to go get more tickers.


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12-13-2012 at 10:37 PM
DESTINYSAR...
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I really like this idea. Thought things would be so much different that they are.

Expectation: I will tell everyone the moment I get two pink lines.Everything will be perfect.

Reality: I lost the baby within a month. It took a few months for another try. This time, I will tell at Christmas, when I'm 14 wks.

Expectation: I will feel pregnant.

Reality: Bump, morning sickness and all, I don't feel different.

Expectation: I will bond with my OB.

Reality: #1 insulted me, #2 is older than my grandma and rarely talks to me. I've chosen a midwife now.

Expectation: I won't get a bump until 20 wks.

Reality: I had one at 11wks.

 Expectation: Everything will be the same. Early morning jogs, social life.

Reality: I had severe morning sickness that left me in bed all day. The jogging resulted in spotting. I became a hermit.

Expectation: Everyone will be happy for me.

Reality: My SIL informed me that since my child is the 4th child born(my generation's kids) in my family, it will not be special to anyone but DH and me.Hate her but with a child born in 2010, two in 2012, it is hard to get excited. For everyone else.

Expectation:The 9months will fly by so quick, you'll be unprepared.

Reality: I've finished my registry on 3 places, planned the nursery and bought paint. Now, I'm waiting ....so slowly. 195 days to go.

Expectation:DH will really be in this with me.

Reality: He is excited but unlike me, he knows, it's a long wait. He is patient, I am not.

Expectation: I will know gender at 12-18 weeks.

Reality: Baby moves too much, baby is shy,  unclear picture, didn't drink enough water.Just because everyone else found out early, doesn't mean you will.

Expectation I will gain 5 lbs first tri.

Reality: I gained 2.

Expectation: I will glow with joy

Reality: hormone surges worse than PMS= me knocking down a tree out of anger, breaking a plate when DH left the toilet seat up, ect.


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12-14-2012 at 12:46 AM
Raeily
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Yep yep. Good post. :) This whole thing has been so different than I imagined it would be and I'm guessing if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again that it will be completely different again. :P

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