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12-13-2012 at 12:52 PM
jjgrl55
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jjgrl55 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 4:57 AMNewbie

TTC during Christmas Exodus

First time poster, long time lurker. :D

 So my husband will be graduating AIT in late January and we are reporting to our new post in early February. I did some research into the battalion he will be joining and it looks like, out of the 3 companies he could possibly join, 2 are currently overseas and 1 just returned in May. So barring any strange occurrences or emergencies, he probably won't deploy for a while. (I had more details on my math, but OPSEC, so just trust me on my estimation that he should be home for a while.)

 Basically, I am wondering if we should start TTC when he comes back next week for Christmas Exodus. I feel like if we were to conceive now, this would be our best chance for him to be here for the entire pregnancy and birth. I know nothing is guaranteed in the Army (I grew up with the Army my whole life, so I know nothing is for sure until he is on the plane) but DH really, really wants to be there for the first birth and at least the first few months. And because we may not have this window of opportunity in the future, I feel like we should take the one good shot we have of him being there for everything. 

I guess my fears are that we have just started this Army adventure, so maybe it would be smarter to wait and get used to the new base and this new lifestyle? We have also only been married a year and a half, and I know lots of people recommend really enjoying being just married first. (Though we lived together for 2 years before marriage and have been together since high school, so I know our relationship is solid.)

Other than that we are in a good place. We are both 23 years old and have all of our partying days behind us. We have a great marriage with very few fights. I have my bachelor's degree already and plan on returning to get my master's eventually. DH will be getting his bachelor's while he is in the Army. We have money saved up and are sticking to a good budget. All of our debt will be paid off this month. My father is super supportive and can't wait to start spoiling a grandchild. All of the information points to start trying, but I still feel so anxious about it! Is it just first-time mommy jitters? What would you guys do?

 

Thanks so much, and sorry for the long post! 
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12-13-2012 at 2:32 PM
Bacon+lett...
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This is a decision only you guys can make. I will recommend at least waiting until you get settled into your duty station. If you get pregnant right away and he has to go on deployment or even a several month TDY you will not know many people and may not have a huge support system right away. Give it some time.
BFP 6/9/2011, due Valentine's day 2012! M/C @ 6 weeks. Miss you sweet tart.
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12-13-2012 at 2:50 PM
iluvmytxrg...
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I agree with BLT.  I would wait until you both settle in to your new lives.  You honestly don't know what is going on with this unit he is set to go with.  There could be all sorts of training exercises going on with in that time frame.  There is also the possibility of injury.  Even a badly sprained ankle could get him recycled and delay him from graduating with the rest of his class.  Orders change all the time.  Several people in my graduating class were set to go to one base and then had their orders change to different bases a week before graduation.  

I wouldn't plan anything until you get where you are going and you take a while to get used to Army life.   

ETA:  Army life as a spouse is so much different than as a child.   
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12-14-2012 at 3:19 PM
JaneDrewAK
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Everything looks good on paper, so if you truly want to start TTC, go for it! If you have some doubts you are ready, beyond just unknownterritory jitters, no harm in waiting. You could wait until after his next deployment, so it would be a few years down the road, you would both still be young. You could take time to travel, focus on your career, build a nest egg.

You never know how long it's going to take to conceive though, so be aware that months or years of trying could still put you into a deployment for the birth.

Good luck with your decision!

One more thingtry not to overplan the fun out of it. And I mean that in the nicest way! Enjoy it all. Hugs!
 
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12-14-2012 at 10:56 PM
jjgrl55
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jjgrl55 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 4:57 AMNewbie

Thanks for the input, ladies. A new factor has reared its head, in that DH is INSANELY excited to start trying next week. I think we have concluded that we will simply be not preventing over Christmas Exodus and if it happens, it happens (with my irregular cycle, it more than likely won't). We will start serious TTC once we are in Colorado. I think I just need to CALM DOWN for now. 

 

Also, the fact that the first two responses made me feel kinda disappointed probably means I AM ready, just nervous.:D
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12-15-2012 at 12:10 PM
Audaciousa...
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Just because it doesn't look like he could deploy or be gone, does NOT mean he won't.  Learn now that there is no such thing as planning in the military life.  If you want to TTC, you better work on it at every opportunity!
TTC since Aug 2011, RE since May 2012. Dx: PCOS,endo, postprandial hypoglycemia DH: SA 1 - low everything, 2- low everything, 3 - good, but WBC, 4 - lost and/or damaged at lab, 5 - low everything July - Letrozole = BFN Aug - letrozole #2 = BFN Sep - NEW RE!! YAY!!!! Move to IVF w/ICSI - ER on Nov 28 - 34 eggs! FX for good fert report! 
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12-16-2012 at 7:29 AM
xladybassx
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Coming from someone who waited to start TTC and then found out we can't get pregnant on our own I would not wait! God forbid you should have trouble, dealing with infertility in the military is a b!tch. I'm just saying for us, it would have made a big difference if we started earlier because we could have also sought medical intervention sooner. It sounds like financially and emotionally you are ready, so I don't see any reason to hold off. Good luck!
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12-16-2012 at 7:40 AM
Beachy730
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I'm with BLT and TX that I would definitely wait until he checks into his command and finds out exactly what is scheduled, and you both get settled in there.  Regardless of who returned when, things change all the time.  So if your main reason for TTC now is so that he can be there for the birth and first few months, I would wait to know the schedule.  My H got back from a deployment and went back out 8 months later on another, that got extended twice, and that's not including the work-ups in between those deployments.  Friends of ours got back and were sent back out on deployment again within 4 months.  Schedules change ALL the time, and until he hears first hand what is going on when he checks in I wouldn't trust anything you read online or hear from word of mouth.  
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12-16-2012 at 9:16 AM
meltoine
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If I were you, I'd go get my master's now. It's so much harder to go to school when you have a baby. I know, I'm doing it now. And, there are assistance programs for tuition that are only available to you while your H is in the lower ranks. 

I would get settled into uh our station, apply to and start school, let that keep you busy while he trains, goes TDY, and probably does one deployment. When you are done, TTC.

But I'm not you. This is what I would do, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily what's right for you.  
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12-29-2012 at 12:17 AM
FormerlyKr...
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Go for it. 

You'll still have 9ish months to spend together and get used to Army life. :) 
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