It's just our culture. Girls complain that their Sweet 16 party isn't what they wanted. Women complain that they didn't get all the frills they wanted for their wedding, even when dear old dad is footing the bill.
But then you get to be an adult and you think you can finally throw a party (the shower) the way you've always wanted. I mean, it isn't really for you, is it? It's all about the baby and since you're the mom, you should get to do it the way you want to (their logic goes).
BUT...It IS about you, not the baby. It is a gift someone is getting you.It isn't the chance to satisfy every dream about a baby shower that you've ever bad. So be grateful. Hope you have a host that can afford to give you the shower you envisioned. And hope you have a friend that would be thrilled to be showered at a baby shower that you throw for her that fits your vision.
....says me, the girl who didn't have a baby shower (by choice - cause I just think showers are odd).
ETA: for clarity