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12-13-2012 at 3:19 PM
mapeace
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Im new here and am in need of "Just Relax" advice

I am new to this forum.  I posted once and saw that new people normally introduce themselves and give a little background.  We have been TTC for a little over 8 months.  Have had my DH and I checked and everything turned out ok.  I have long cycle so my doc says it takes longer for women with long cycle to get BFP??  I have been getting the "Just Relax" comment from people and it makes my blood boil! I dont want to be rude, some of them are older relatives or coworkers, but I feel people should know by now this not an appropriate thing to say? How do you handle it? Should I just ignore it?
 
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12-13-2012 at 3:22 PM
spacepotat...
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Long cycles can be frustrating. Just curious, are you charting your CM and BBT so that you know when you ovulate? That can help maximize your chances each cycle, since your chances don't come around as often.

I've heard the "just relax" thing a couple of times. My response to it depends on who's saying it. Sometimes I ignore it but when it's someone who knows me well, I'm not afraid to be honest about how useless that advice is. Most people mean well and don't have a clue how stupid those comments are. 

TTC#1 since August 2012
My Ovulation Chart
My Blog: On Books, etc. 
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12-13-2012 at 3:22 PM
ChuggingWa...
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You have been trying for 8 months and already had you and your DH checked?   Are you over 35?

My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Calendar TTC#2-September '12 November '12 began seeing rheumatologist due to +RF and strong RA symptoms BabyFruit Ticker 5.22.13 Sonogram at 7w2d-- Baby measuring perfect with 140hbp 
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12-13-2012 at 3:24 PM
nlscroggin...
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spacepotatoes:

Long cycles can be frustrating. Just curious, are you charting your CM and BBT so that you know when you ovulate? That can help maximize your chances each cycle, since your chances don't come around as often.

I've heard the "just relax" thing a couple of times. My response to it depends on who's saying it. Sometimes I ignore it but when it's someone who knows me well, I'm not afraid to be honest about how useless that advice is. Most people mean well and don't have a clue how stupid those comments are. 

agreed that most people mean well and dont realize they're being offensive. i dont really think there is anything people can say that is perfect, even if they know the situation. just try to ignore them and stay positive.  

me: 26 - DH: 29
ttc #1 since june 2012
-dx: PCOS & hypothyroidism-
-Dec '12-SA: normal & HSG: all clear-
-Jan '13- clomid 50mg = BFN-
-Feb '13- clomid 100mg = BFN-
-March '13- clomid 150mg = BFN- 
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12-13-2012 at 3:25 PM
curlylocks...
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Welcome and sorry you're getting some frustrating advice. I'd say how you handle it is really up to you and your relationship to them- you could smile it off, you could tell them "thanks, I am plenty relaxed", or you could explain there is no link between relaxing and getting pregnant. Another option is not telling them that you're TTC, because if they don't know they can't offer unsolicited advice- this might be a good option for people you worry about offending. Obviously you can't un-tell anyone, but consider it moving forward. 
Good luck to you. 

ETA: Missed the part about geting checked already on my first read. How old are you? And out of curiosity, how long are your cycles?

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О Привязать! Z!
TTC since 11/2011
BFP #1 EDD 12/14/12, C/P 4/9
Me: 27, dx DOR, heterozygous Leiden Factor V; H: 28, no known issues
After 3 failed Clomid + IUI cycles we are moving on to IVF in July
Everyone welcome. 
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12-13-2012 at 3:30 PM
mapeace
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mapeace is not online. Last active: 02-25-2013, 11:56 AMNewbie

ChuggingWater:
You have been trying for 8 months and already had you and your DH checked?   Are you over 35?

 

No I'm only 26, but my mom had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with me and was never able to carry full term after me.  My doc wanted to check me out after 6 months just to make sure I didn't have any of her issues. I just got my Progesterone levels checked to make sure I'm ovulating, which came out that I was, and my DH had a S/A and it was fine.
 
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12-13-2012 at 3:33 PM
angelchild...
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Welcome and good luck!
BFP 1/30/13 EDD 10/6/13Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers 
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12-13-2012 at 3:36 PM
Krisands
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Just relax... just kidding. Welcome and Good luck!
 
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12-13-2012 at 3:38 PM
gscoville
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Welcome and best of luck!  If you're not already, check out Fertility Friend and charting as a way to really make sure you're hitting your best days for conception. 
May Siggy Challenge - Favourite Flower: Lilac
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Married August 2012. Me: 39 DH: 40
Daughter from a previous marriage is 18 years old
TTC #2 since August 2012
BFP 12/19/12
DX with ectopic pregnancy at 8 weeks, surgery to remove right tube 01/18/13
Both ovaries and left tube looked healthy and clear, so we'll see what the future holds for us.
My Ovulation Chart  
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12-13-2012 at 3:39 PM
mapeace
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mapeace is not online. Last active: 02-25-2013, 11:56 AMNewbie
spacepotatoes:

Long cycles can be frustrating. Just curious, are you charting your CM and BBT so that you know when you ovulate? That can help maximize your chances each cycle, since your chances don't come around as often.

I've heard the "just relax" thing a couple of times. My response to it depends on who's saying it. Sometimes I ignore it but when it's someone who knows me well, I'm not afraid to be honest about how useless that advice is. Most people mean well and don't have a clue how stupid those comments are. 

 

I have been using OPKs (but I think I was testing on the wrong days) and trying to chart my CM.  I am going to look more into BBT.  I never did it before because with my work schedule I am always getting up at a different time each morning.  I read that a lot of women set an alarm for the really early morning and chart at the same time, so I am going to start trying that.
 
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12-13-2012 at 3:42 PM
heather519...
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heather51983 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 4:45 PMNewbie

ChuggingWater:
You have been trying for 8 months and already had you and your DH checked?   Are you over 35?

 

I was just in the dr for my yearly and she said that I should come in if I'm not pregnant after trying for 6-8 months and I will be 30 in May. I think it just depends on the dr.

 OP I would saying charting is your best chance to find that window, I have 35 day cycles and was trying at the wrong time, I thinking I as 28. Once I started charting it all became more clear. I would say that would be your best bet. Good luck and hopefully things start to turn around soon for you and your DH 
My Ovulation Chart
 
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12-13-2012 at 3:43 PM
spacepotat...
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spacepotatoes is not online. Last active: 03-11-2013, 7:47 PMBronze
mapeace:
spacepotatoes:

Long cycles can be frustrating. Just curious, are you charting your CM and BBT so that you know when you ovulate? That can help maximize your chances each cycle, since your chances don't come around as often.

I've heard the "just relax" thing a couple of times. My response to it depends on who's saying it. Sometimes I ignore it but when it's someone who knows me well, I'm not afraid to be honest about how useless that advice is. Most people mean well and don't have a clue how stupid those comments are. 

 

I have been using OPKs (but I think I was testing on the wrong days) and trying to chart my CM.  I am going to look more into BBT.  I never did it before because with my work schedule I am always getting up at a different time each morning.  I read that a lot of women set an alarm for the really early morning and chart at the same time, so I am going to start trying that.

Good luck :)

TTC#1 since August 2012
My Ovulation Chart
My Blog: On Books, etc. 
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12-13-2012 at 3:45 PM
kgoldsmith...
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welcome and lots of luck
My Ovulation Chart  
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12-13-2012 at 3:46 PM
mapeace
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mapeace is not online. Last active: 02-25-2013, 11:56 AMNewbie

curlylocks3:
Welcome and sorry you're getting some frustrating advice. I'd say how you handle it is really up to you and your relationship to them- you could smile it off, you could tell them "thanks, I am plenty relaxed", or you could explain there is no link between relaxing and getting pregnant. Another option is not telling them that you're TTC, because if they don't know they can't offer unsolicited advice- this might be a good option for people you worry about offending. Obviously you can't un-tell anyone, but consider it moving forward. 
Good luck to you. 

ETA: Missed the part about geting checked already on my first read. How old are you? And out of curiosity, how long are your cycles?

 

I'm 26 and my cycles are anywhere from 30 to 36 days.
 
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12-13-2012 at 3:52 PM
CChef07
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Welcome and good luck! Long cycles can be frustrating...
My Ovulation Chart 
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12-13-2012 at 4:35 PM
tinydove
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mapeace:

curlylocks3:
Welcome and sorry you're getting some frustrating advice. I'd say how you handle it is really up to you and your relationship to them- you could smile it off, you could tell them "thanks, I am plenty relaxed", or you could explain there is no link between relaxing and getting pregnant. Another option is not telling them that you're TTC, because if they don't know they can't offer unsolicited advice- this might be a good option for people you worry about offending. Obviously you can't un-tell anyone, but consider it moving forward. 
Good luck to you. 

ETA: Missed the part about geting checked already on my first read. How old are you? And out of curiosity, how long are your cycles?

 

I'm 26 and my cycles are anywhere from 30 to 36 days.

I would hardly consider those to be long cycles.


February TTGP Siggy
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Stopped BC and Started TTC in February 2012
Long, Anovulatory Cycles. Dx PCOS Nov 2012, Started Metformin 11/3
Also Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism since childhood

Medicated Cycle #1 - Femara 5mg = No Response

Medicated Cycle #2 - Femara 7.5mg = TBD
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12-13-2012 at 6:39 PM
melissab01...
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I feel you girl. My cycles have always been on the longer side: 5 to 6 weeks errrr. Been like that since I was a teen, I'm 28 now. Real frustrating when you get that BFN...again. Chin up, you're not alone. :
BabyFetus Ticker Became a very young mother on 5/07/02 =) Married on 12/17/10 to the best man ever said goodbye to baby 4/20/12 10 weeks said goodbye to baby 8/09/12 6 weeks BFP on 1/11/13! EDD 9/12/13 I will not lose hope. I will have another baby some day. 
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12-13-2012 at 7:14 PM
GertrudeCl...
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Just tell them to suck a candy cane dear.
 
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12-13-2012 at 8:39 PM
AmyC925
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tinydove:
mapeace:

curlylocks3:
Welcome and sorry you're getting some frustrating advice. I'd say how you handle it is really up to you and your relationship to them- you could smile it off, you could tell them "thanks, I am plenty relaxed", or you could explain there is no link between relaxing and getting pregnant. Another option is not telling them that you're TTC, because if they don't know they can't offer unsolicited advice- this might be a good option for people you worry about offending. Obviously you can't un-tell anyone, but consider it moving forward.&nbsp;
Good luck to you.&nbsp;

ETA: Missed the part about geting checked already on my first read. How old are you? And out of curiosity, how long are your cycles?

&nbsp;

I'm 26 and my cycles are anywhere from 30 to 36 days.

I would hardly consider those to be long cycles.


Welcome. And this. 30 to 36 days isn't very long.
Dx: Endometriosis, 3 rounds of Lupron finished!
Currently TTC

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12-13-2012 at 8:45 PM
hqinmd
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Welcome and good luck.
BabyFruit Ticker 
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12-13-2012 at 8:49 PM
jeffsjayme
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tinydove:
mapeace:

curlylocks3:
Welcome and sorry you're getting some frustrating advice. I'd say how you handle it is really up to you and your relationship to them- you could smile it off, you could tell them "thanks, I am plenty relaxed", or you could explain there is no link between relaxing and getting pregnant. Another option is not telling them that you're TTC, because if they don't know they can't offer unsolicited advice- this might be a good option for people you worry about offending. Obviously you can't un-tell anyone, but consider it moving forward. 
Good luck to you. 

ETA: Missed the part about geting checked already on my first read. How old are you? And out of curiosity, how long are your cycles?

 

I'm 26 and my cycles are anywhere from 30 to 36 days.

I would hardly consider those to be long cycles.

Yeah, that isn't that long.   I'm looking at 50 and 80 day cycles.

BUT..with cycles in that range, it's likely you're missing your fertile window if you're following advice that assumes ovulation on day 14. 

Start taking your temperature.  Take OPKs every day starting around day 10.  Multiple times a day (2-3) once you start seeing something closer to positive.  Sex EOD until ovulation is confirmed.  That's the best you can do. 
 
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