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12-13-2012 at 10:12 PM
Heather661
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Heather661 is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 3:04 PMNewbie

My brother died :-( Contractions/BHs since then..

My brother died just over two weeks ago (3 weeks on monday). When I got the call from my sister, the night it happened, I had really bad "contractions"/braxton hicks. I tried to keep calm, because every time I "got worked up" they would start up.

 My husband and I made plans to travel (we drove) several states away 4 days after  we found out. I went to the OB prior to our trip and got checked out for the BHs and the dr. gave me a RX for a smooth muscle relaxer to help if I should need it through the 4 days we would be traveling for the funeral.

I ended up not taking the med, as its one major side effect was :fainting" from drop in blood pressure, and I controlled my self enough that the BHs were greatly reduced through the weekend of his funeral (I think the closure to his death was a help, in a way). 

However, when I think about his death, the funeral, my family who is still in the state they live (same as him) I get anxious and while i dont feel like im having BHs, I get pressure and cramping...In addition, I've started leaking from my breasts, which could be a sign of preterm labor. 

My dr. has checked me twice, and I'm high, closed, long - no signs of preterm labor or any dialation.

 I feel that while I am trying to move on from his death, I feel like maybe I havent allowed myself a chance to really mourn, because every I start feeling sad or upset about it, I squish it down to not get the cramping and BHs. 

I've been trying to be as stress free as possible and keep my mind other places...I am still getting the occasional  BHs and cramping, but according to the dr. they are not too concerning. 

I just feel lost :-(  

 







 photo jackson1.jpg

"Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream." ~ From Juno

 
12-13-2012 at 10:23 PM
RussianMom...
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so sorry you're going through this

just a side note about the medication tho..... when they do studies, even if ONE person gets a "side effect" they need to put it on the warning label. It doesn't mean it will happen to you. Your dr RX'd the med to you because the benefits outweigh the risk. My anti-nausea medication says "may cause nausea, vomitting and blurred vision" but I did not get any of those. 


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12-13-2012 at 10:36 PM
NativeFlor...
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NativeFloridian is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 1:52 AMSilver

That's awful, I'm so sorry to hear this.  I don't know what I do if I lost one of my brothers.  It's definitely important to allow yourself to mourn, and I think keeping it in is probably more stressful over time.  Can you see a therapist about it?  Perhaps they could guide you in some relaxation or meditation techniques that you could employ while you work through your emotions.  I know that with meditation, you see the thoughts and you acknowledge them, but then you allow them to slip away, and that is the basis of the practice.  Perhaps it could be beneficial to you.

I sincerely hope you can find some solace and relief from the immense stress your under.  Thoughts and prayers, and good luck to you. 


"Those abs do not say I'm precious. They say I'm about to wreck you six ways from Sunday, so I hope you have some vacation time to use at work." -BADBetty


 

12-13-2012 at 10:47 PM
dande2129
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If the doctor's have cleared you that it is, in fact, only BHs then I would contact a grief specialist to talk through your anxiety, which seems to be what you're feeling. 

Grieving is a process, and everyone does it differently. I am sorry for your loss. 


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12-13-2012 at 10:53 PM
oliversmom...
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I am very sorry for your loss. You're in my T&P's. 

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12-13-2012 at 10:53 PM
Stef1210
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I don't know anything about the meds, but I wanted to say that I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

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12-14-2012 at 5:09 AM
March2013F...
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March2013FTM is not online. Last active: 04-20-2013, 5:52 PMNewbie

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my T&P.

I have taken a muscle relaxer during pregnancy. I get very sleepy from it, but no fainting or low BP issues. I merely took one and relaxed all day. I was having some severe back pain from the baby when I first became pregnant.

I would also suggest seeing a therapist. Not because anything you are experiencing is wrong or out of place, but someone to help coach you through grieving in a meaningful way, especially while pregnant.

Also, treat yourself to something. Even with such deep sorrow, it is important that you remind yourself that you having a miracle growing inside of you, and you have to take care of yourself. Have a pedicure, massage, something to help you relax.

God bless and take care. 


 
12-14-2012 at 5:38 AM
Skk1977
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I'm so sorry for your loss and I know this is a horrible time to try to balance all your emotions and thoughts. Have you thought about seeking counseling? It might be a healthier way to process your emotions without having to take meds. I'm so sorry.

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12-14-2012 at 6:05 AM
botanicalb...
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I'm so sorry for your loss!  Can you try taking the med when your at home and have nowhere to go  to see how you react to it?  Then, if you don't feel the side effects, maybe you'll feel more comfortable to take it.

Maybe take a few days off to give yourself some time.  


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12-14-2012 at 6:32 AM
Bliss+Berr...
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dande2129:

If the doctor's have cleared you that it is, in fact, only BHs then I would contact a grief specialist to talk through your anxiety, which seems to be what you're feeling. 

Grieving is a process, and everyone does it differently. I am sorry for your loss. 

This is really good advice.  

I am so sorry for your loss.  


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12-14-2012 at 6:58 AM
flerlgirl
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So sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you. I would echo a PP and encourage you to speak to a grief counselor. It's totally okay to feel lost and confused right now and a counselor can help you work through all of those struggles. God bless.

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12-14-2012 at 8:24 AM
Ana0927
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I am so sorry for your loss. You just lost someone you love and you are going to feel lost, confused, gulity, angry and its ok.  When I lost my dad I sought help through a counselor and she really helped me get through it.  

You will be in my T&P


 
12-14-2012 at 8:33 AM
lizbith
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Sending condolences your way. My mother lost her brother on Thanksgiving 2 years ago. The holiday season always makes it harder.


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12-14-2012 at 9:03 AM
TX-Bride
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So sorry for what you are going thru! Try to preoccupy yourself with something else. My T&P with you and your family.
 
12-14-2012 at 9:26 AM
lovingmygi...
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I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you're going through. I have no new advise except to say that I agree with PP's and hope you and you baby are both ok through this rough time

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12-14-2012 at 10:01 AM
TnArichmon...
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NativeFloridian:

That's awful, I'm so sorry to hear this.  I don't know what I do if I lost one of my brothers.  It's definitely important to allow yourself to mourn, and I think keeping it in is probably more stressful over time.  Can you see a therapist about it?  Perhaps they could guide you in some relaxation or meditation techniques that you could employ while you work through your emotions.  I know that with meditation, you see the thoughts and you acknowledge them, but then you allow them to slip away, and that is the basis of the practice.  Perhaps it could be beneficial to you.

I sincerely hope you can find some solace and relief from the immense stress your under.  Thoughts and prayers, and good luck to you. 

I will second this. I am so sorry you have to deal with such sadness. Remind yourself that this is a happy time for you, and now your baby a special angel.


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12-14-2012 at 11:50 AM
jmubride2
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I' m so sorry

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12-14-2012 at 12:15 PM
MrsJelly
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I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts & Prayers sent your way. 
 
12-14-2012 at 7:54 PM
Heather661
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San Diego, CA
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Heather661 is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 3:04 PMNewbie

Thank you all for the responses....Yes, I have been thinking of seeing a councilor and seeing how that goes...Everyone at work has been great, and are there if I need them. I actually went to work the day after I found out (I got the call at 1am, worked at 11 the next day) but for me anyway, Im such a control freak and working was the only way I felt I could handle it - just do normal everyday stuff.

My husband has been amazing, and has really given me space on not expected the "normalcy" of our household (dinner cooked everynight, laundry done etc etc) and has really been there to help out and just make sure im ok.

He did take me for a mani and pedi (He joined in too!) the day we got back from out of town and before I went back to work...It was great to just be with him and have him be supportive.

The only thing that is making everything so confusing, is the circumstances of his death - we have not gotten the toxcology report back yet, and there is a lot of speculation of a mixture of pills a girl at a party gave him. My brother also had some health problems (Syringomyelia - a spinal/neruological disorder, among other things) which had effected his heart, so it could have just been his heart giving up after 26 years of fighting...but not knowing the true reason, suck...

And, add to that, my ex-step dad and my mom have two kids together, and have recently divorced, last year. he actually had her SERVED child custody papers at my brother funeral!!! I have never been so livid in my entire life...

Anyway, I've gone on too long, but it helps a little writing it out I guess...I am going to look into seeing a specialist and see if it will help me work through some stuff...thank you all for support....it really means a lot... 

 







 photo jackson1.jpg

"Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream." ~ From Juno

 
12-15-2012 at 6:28 PM
pnutg
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I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and everything youre going through.

-1st BFP 5/24/12, EDD 1/25/13, MMC 6/19/12 at 8 weeks, D&C 6/29/12 -2nd BFP 9/15/12, EDD 5/20/13, It's a boy! C's birthdate is 5/22/13 www.peanut-gallerie.blogspot.com 
12-16-2012 at 1:15 PM
BekW2009
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I'm so sorry you are dealing with this... My t&p are with you and your family.

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