Thank you all for the responses....Yes, I have been thinking of seeing a councilor and seeing how that goes...Everyone at work has been great, and are there if I need them. I actually went to work the day after I found out (I got the call at 1am, worked at 11 the next day) but for me anyway, Im such a control freak and working was the only way I felt I could handle it - just do normal everyday stuff.
My husband has been amazing, and has really given me space on not expected the "normalcy" of our household (dinner cooked everynight, laundry done etc etc) and has really been there to help out and just make sure im ok.
He did take me for a mani and pedi (He joined in too!) the day we got back from out of town and before I went back to work...It was great to just be with him and have him be supportive.
The only thing that is making everything so confusing, is the circumstances of his death - we have not gotten the toxcology report back yet, and there is a lot of speculation of a mixture of pills a girl at a party gave him. My brother also had some health problems (Syringomyelia - a spinal/neruological disorder, among other things) which had effected his heart, so it could have just been his heart giving up after 26 years of fighting...but not knowing the true reason, suck...
And, add to that, my ex-step dad and my mom have two kids together, and have recently divorced, last year. he actually had her SERVED child custody papers at my brother funeral!!! I have never been so livid in my entire life...
Anyway, I've gone on too long, but it helps a little writing it out I guess...I am going to look into seeing a specialist and see if it will help me work through some stuff...thank you all for support....it really means a lot...