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12-14-2012 at 3:48 PM
jadwedd
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Joined on 04-29-2003
21,320 Points
jadwedd is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 6:13 AMBronze

Who has to hide their IVF?

I have to hide it from my boss at work because I work for a Catholic School and it is against their beliefs so I could get fired.  However everyone knows because I told some people before I knew that I could be fired.  And they cover for me when I have side effects.  But my family and friends know because I am terrible at keeping things to myself.  I like the idea of so many people pulling for us and praying for us.  Hiding it from work stinks though.

Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
12-14-2012 at 3:55 PM
Live+LetLi...
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Joined on 12-14-2012
90 Points
Live+LetLive is not online. Last active: 01-03-2013, 7:54 PMNewbie

I hid it from work last time until I couldn't anymore - i.e. when it came time to take a few days in a row off for ER / ET   I told my supervisor and she was supportive.  I didnt tell anyone else, and I was so pissed to hear when I came back from 3 sick days that staff was making comments about I better have a note for 3 days bla bla bla when I have the best attendance there... Some people will just talk to talk and I didn't want to hear all their "advice".   This round I'm not telling anyone again and hoping ER and ET fall on days off.   

Good luck!


This is HappyWifeMrsK, this is my new profile. Me (26) DH (33) TTC since 2010, MFI, IVF#1 beta# 1 was 38, beta #2 was 22, ended in early :( Starting IVF#2 ER week of 1/21/13  
12-14-2012 at 3:57 PM
J&D2007
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Joined on 02-22-2007
19,831 Points
J&D2007 is not online. Last active: 04-28-2013, 8:12 AMBronze
Is completely hidden by everyone but the two of us. DH wants no one at all to know. It sure makes it difficult, I would love to talk things over with at least my sister. Oh, well, it's really important to him so I will survive.


Me: 35, DH: 36, ttc: 3+ years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid med & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s,
1/12: D&C,
6/12 IUI #1: clomid, 5 mature follicles, excellent sperm,= BFN,
7/12: IUI #2: clomid, 3 mature follicles, excellent sperm= BFN,
8/12: IUi #3: clomid, 5 follicles, = BFP!, C/P
10/12 IVF #1: FSH 5.4, estradiol AFC: 14, long Lupron 150/bravelle75,5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast and 1 8 cell transferred. No frosties. BFN
IVF #2: AFC 21, MD lupron 12/25, 225bravelle/150men, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast BFN
IVF #3: natural start antagon, starting 3/30, ER 4/11, 12R,11M,10F
.
[IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg174/pixydust3084/April_V2.jpg%5B/IMG] 
12-14-2012 at 4:03 PM
teridaniel...
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Joined on 07-06-2009
7,101 Points
teridanielle is not online. Last active: 05-14-2013, 2:21 PMNewbie
Mine is not known to any of my friends except 2.  Our parents know, but beyond that no one knows.  Well, my boss knows, but how do i explain having to take off half days all the time to drive an hour to an RE's office.  She is a woman with children so she gets it and is very supportive.  I'm very blessed in that area!

All Welcome

Me: 29 DH: 30

IF DX severe endo SA: PERFECT!

7/16/2011 Married handsome hubby!
9/2012 Lap/Hystercopy DX w/ Stage III endo
Bilaterial Uterine Suspension/D&C/HSG
HCG/D&D on R/L ovaries/chromaltubation/Uterine Polyp
10/2012 RE consult. DX move straight to IVF
IVF #1 11/27/2012
IVF #1 Cancelled for Low Response and Converted to IUI #1 --- BFN

IVF #1.2 BCP 12/29 Stims 1/21 w/ New Protocol - Antongonist (225 Menopur, 150 Follistim, & Ganirelix)
ER 2/2/13 11R,9M,8F -- ET 2/7/13 2 Beautiful Perfect Blasts/5 made it Freeze! -- 2/12/12 +HPT -- 2/14/13 Beta #1 71 -- 2/18/2013 Beta #2 521 YAY! Let this be our take home baby!

Cutest girl in the world!! http://instagr.am/p/JVp-yUr_Ig/Mitzee's morning hair http://instagr.am/p/Lc2yjbr_BE/

 Pregnancy Ticker 
12-14-2012 at 5:45 PM
kflynn81
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Joined on 11-28-2009
Oak Lawn
28,209 Points
kflynn81 is not online. Last active: 05-15-2013, 9:10 PMBronze
The only one that knew was my boss because she had to cover for me while I'm at my monitoring appts. (I am a caretaker for an elderly woman). However, this cycle she is going on vacation and can't fill in so I'll need to take the cycle off (without pay of course, YAY!!) and someone will have to work my shifts to avoid disruption to the woman who is doing scheduling while she's gone. So....now the family of the woman will all know I'm doing IVF because my boss said they had to know why I'm going to be gone for 2-3 weeks. Ugh.

Anniversary
Me(31): Possibly Adult Growth Hormone Deficiency caused by a mutation in my pituitary genes called PIT-1--Also, Factor V Leiden
DH (31): Borderline low morph, but not considered a problem
"Baby dancing" with no protection or BCP since July 2009
IF testing started March 2011
Endocrinology related tests from October 2011-February 2012
March 2012--Clomid --No response-Straight to injects!
April & May 2012-- IUI#1 & #2 = BFN
July 2012- IVF#1 cancelled
September 2012-IVF#1.2--BFN
November 2012- IVF #2 --BFN
January 2013- IVF #3-- BFFN
February 2013--Found a new RE but first back to the Endocrinologist for more diagnostic testing
Absolutely no idea when we can cycle again...looking into DE as well if IVF#4 fails again
PAIF/SAIF encouraged...give me some hope!!
For detailed cycle info. see right side of blog... Kate's IF Blog
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 
12-14-2012 at 6:09 PM
TrixieGirl...
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Joined on 11-25-2008
6,041 Points
TrixieGirl82 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 9:33 PMNewbie
I'm bad at keeping secrets! Close friends and familly know. And a lot of co-workers. It's hard to come in an hour late so often and not have people ask questions.

TTC naturally since Nov 2010. Diagnosed with PCOS in June of 2012 Started seeing a RE June 2012 HSG showed a block left tube Hubby's SA showed a slightly low count everything else ok Three rounds of Clomid/IUI-all three rounds IUI were cancelled because follicles never matured. Starting injections for IVF Dec. 1st. Praying for the Christmas gift of a lifetime!!! 11/30 Baseline U/S and bloodwork-everything looks great! 12/1 Start Stims 12/11 ER 16R 7M 7F 12/16 ET 12/26 Beta #1 364 12/28 Beta #2 758 12/31 Beta #3 2249 12/31 Ultrasound showed...TWINS!!!!!! 2/4 Ultrasound showed one baby with HR of 174 and one angel baby. We are heartbroken. It's a girl! Due Sept. 4th  BabyFruit Ticker  
12-14-2012 at 6:41 PM
RoadToFert...
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Joined on 08-05-2012
6,420 Points
RoadToFertility is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 5:48 PMNewbie

Wow! That's pretty intense that you could lose your job. When we went through IVF # 1 my friends from work knew about it, my best friends, parents, and pastors also knew. I really regretted telling all of those people. It's really nice to have the support, especially at work, but what got to me after awhile were all the constant questions. Also, I felt so much pressure surrounding our Beta and when we would find out! It was a roller coaster because when we did find out that our first beta was amazing it was a huge celebration fest (with my work friends mostly, we didn't tell anyone else about the beta date)...but when it resulted in a c/p we just felt so much disappointment and having to tell people the bad news hurt us more as well. This time around for our FET, we have not told a SOUL.

I miss half a day of school a week for bloodwork and I will be missing on this Tuesday as well for the transfer but so far I have told my work friends that the doctor is simply monitoring me. My best friend also asks me and I tell her that we are still making a decision about what to do next. I don't see or talk to my parents often so it doesn't come up with them that much. I just don't want to tell anyone. I feel like IF takes away so much anyway that if we are pregnant I at least want it to be a 100% surprise since I won't be able to surprise my husband. I also just don't want the pressure. If it's good news, fantastic..we will wait until the first trimester is over to share any kind of news. If it's bad news, we can grieve on our own. Good luck with everything. IF is a hard road.


Married for 3 years to the love of my life! TTC for over a year. Started seeing RE in April 2012. Lap in July revealed endo covering left ovary and part of my bowels. This will require extensive surgery by a specialist. RE wants us to have babies first because surgery could compromise my ability to carry. Started first round of IVF in August. Ten follies retrieved, eight fertilized, two frosties. IVF #1= C/P *Frozen Embie Transfer scheduled for end of Nov/Dec. Going to transfer 2 frosties if all goes according to plan*
FET # 1 [12/18]: Transferred two "beautiful" embies.
Beta # 1: 126 [BFP!]
Beta # 2: 546
Beta #3: 1618!!
Beta # 4 - 4954!!!!!! Ultrasound 1/18 - Two heartbeats at 121 and 136. Fraternal twins! Um, is this really happening?!
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Our Road to Fertility (My blog)

 Pregnancy Ticker
 
12-14-2012 at 8:09 PM
flowerpowe...
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Joined on 02-17-2007
=)
31,872 Points
flowerpower3 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 9:30 PMGold
Similar situation to yours.  I'm not Catholic, but I teach at a Catholic school.  I'm open with our IF/IVF with everyone except people at work.  I'm too nervous to get fired.  Stinks we have to be like that.

Anniversary
TTC since Sept. 2011
DX: MFI
IUI# 1-3 (all with Clomid and Ovidrel): BFN
Going forth with IVF Nov. 2012
IVF on hold due to polyps
surgery Dec. 2012 - successful!
Moving forward with IVF Jan. 2013
Transferred 2 embryos 1/24 - BFN
IVF#2 coming March/April 2013
Transferred 2 embryos 5/5 - BFP!!! EDD 1/24/14
Beta 1 (5/17) - 66.8
 BabyFruit Ticker
My Local Nestie Besties: JenniferLuvsCandy, MABride0808, thecuddleeffect, MrsHo1030 
12-15-2012 at 10:45 AM
solisilou
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Joined on 12-11-2012
14,851 Points
solisilou is online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 6:52 AMBronze

I'm sorry that your decision over whom to tell is conditioned by your fear of getting fired. As if IF wasn't hard enough on its own...

We decided not to tell our families and while my family never asks about us having children, my DH's family does and it's really annoying. We just went to a big family gathering and it was just horrible. Between all the babies, pregnant cousins and annoying aunts I don't know which one was worse... Sometimes I just felt like blurting out, so that no one ever touches the subject again.

I was very open with close friends though, and I don't know if I could have done it without their support. Everyone is always very sensitive about it and I rarely get any questions. They usually just ask how I'm doing and leave it up to me to tell more if I feel like it. There was just one friend I regretted telling to, she had actually also gone through IVF for their first and a couple of unsuccessful FETs for their second child. I thought she understood me, but in the end she just blind-sided me with her spontaneous BFP when she was already 12 weeks pregnant and I felt really betrayed. I wish she would have sent an email or SMS telling me about it so I could deal with it in privacy... 

I guess there's just no perfect formula to deal with this.

 


Me 32 / DH 36
TTC since 08/2010
Me: Lap in 2007 due to pelvic pain: Dx mild endo
Lap in 2011: ovarian cyst and endo removal
2 Clomid cycles: good response but both BFN
borderline high anti-cardiolipin IgM Abs - now on baby aspirin
DH: S/A low all three - unexplained

IVF/ICSI #1: 06/2012 11R/11M/9F 2dt of one 4-cell embie - BFP,
beta hell, U/S hell, m/c and D&C at 9w6d
FET #1: 10/2012 3dt of one 10-cell embie - BFN
FET #2: 11/2012 2dt of one 2-cell embie - BFN
FET #3: 01/2013 3dt of one 6-cell embie - BFN
IVF/ICSI #2: 02/2013 14R/13M/7F 5dt of one blast 2/16 - BFP,
beta hell, m/c at 5w3d
FET #4: 04/2013 5dt of 2 morulas - BFN
FET #5: 05/2013


 
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