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12-14-2012 at 5:12 PM
shellylove...
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How are you going about selecting a middle name?

For DS's middle name we chose an old family name from my DH's side.  I'd like to use a name from my side of the family for soon to arrive DD.  In particular, I adored my grandmother whose middle name is Marie, but that seems to be a very popular middle name.  

How are you deciding on middle names?  That they go together, have family meaning, or are equally unique as first names?

Is anyone concerned about hurt feelings if you do not choose a family name? 


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12-14-2012 at 5:21 PM
Idani
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We used family middle names for both sons.  However had we not had ones we liked and wanted to honor we would have just went with what we liked.  I don't think either of our families were expecting us to use them but were very touched we did.

 
12-14-2012 at 5:28 PM
BLPL101
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We chose Ruth as our DD's middle name. It's DH's grandma's name and we adore her so it was a pretty easy decision plus it sounds good with DD's first name, Caroline. The primary reason was to honor his grandmother.

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12-14-2012 at 5:28 PM
alphalyrae
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DH and I tend to favor family names, or derivatives.



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12-14-2012 at 5:46 PM
mrscjmb941...
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DS' MN is Douglas which was DH's beloved grandfather's FN. DH's grandpa passed away in 2005 and we always said that we would use his name as the MN of our first son.

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12-14-2012 at 5:47 PM
Joy2611
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I think it would take several children for us to run out of family members to honor.  I can't imagine not using a family name for a middle name, but I know that's not everyone's style. 

Name of the person comes far before flow.

We actually already have a boy family name and girl family name picked out for middle names.

12-14-2012 at 6:01 PM
Mochadoodl...
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I've always planned on honoring family members with middle names. No, I'm not concerned about hurt feelings if we do not choose a family name.


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12-14-2012 at 6:07 PM
plunderb
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We used the feminine version of my grandfather's name. My daughter is his first great-grandchild and he was the true head of our family, so it was a very easy choice.

Subsequent children will also have family names, probably my maiden name or my mother's maiden name.

I don't care about flow at all.

12-14-2012 at 6:56 PM
Raeily
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We didn't choose any family names. It's not the way our families work. 

I was struggling coming up with a middle name and hubby blurted out the first thing that came to his mind and it was perfect for a lot of reasons. 


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12-14-2012 at 7:07 PM
SNMA310
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Not pregnant, but DH and I have talked about names and MN are all family names. We have some great family names, though, so it made it easier for us!
12-14-2012 at 7:16 PM
elainelbuc...
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We went with a family name.  DD has my fn as her mn because it is also my mom & MIL's mn.  If we have a boy his mn will be David, after DH's late father.  Since DD's mn is for both sides and our boy name is after a lost parent I didn't think there would be any possible hurt feelings.

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12-14-2012 at 7:19 PM
GWUAlum
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We picked names we liked and we thought went well together. We're not into naming our future kids after people. 
 
12-14-2012 at 7:26 PM
-auntie-
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DH and I went old school. DS's middle name is a family surname common to both of us. My niece's have my maiden name as a middle. DS would have had the same except that it just sounded too pretentious.
 
12-14-2012 at 7:47 PM
Candace523...
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Originally we were going to name baby #1 after my grandfather had she been a boy, but then 2 months later, we realized his brothers name was William. His brother goes by Will and lives 5 states away, and with my pregnancy brain it slipped our minds (bad i know).  And the girl name we both love (Victoria) is my sisters first name (even though she doesnt go by it)

The more we thought about it, there really wasnt a name on my dads side or his moms side that we liked and all of DH cousins had already used his dads side family names repeatedly, and didnt feel it would be fair to only pick from my moms side.

So we decided to be different and just go with what we thought was a beautiful name that would age well with her. And we are planning on doing the same for baby #2


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12-14-2012 at 8:04 PM
austenread...
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I really only know of one generation back on my mom's side and there has never been any talk of her 8 siblings being named after family.  DH's side it's not been common the last few generations save DH's grandad's middle name was Franklin and then FIL's and then DH's.  But we're not continuing that tradition.  We have looked through his genealogy and are continuing other options for middle names.  DH likes for it to be someone in the family, even if he never knew or heard about the person.  So basically what happens is we agree we like the sound of a name and then see if it's in the book. 

I think it's easier to name specifically after family if there's a long tradition of using X name or always naming after maternal grandfather or something.  Then you don't have to worry about offending anyone and giving off the impression that you like X grandparent more than Y grandparent.  But a lot of people do it and don't have a problem with it, I'm just slightly paranoid.


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12-14-2012 at 8:05 PM
Grace0609
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We have used family names for all our kids' middle names. With 1 we used my dad's name. With 2 we used DH's middle name, which was his grandfather's first name. For 3 we are going back to my family and are using my brother's name for his mn.

I have not worried about hurt feelings, but am super excited to reveal this LO's name b/c of how meaningful the name is to me.

And, yes, we did consider flow of fn and mn. It is part of the reason ds1 got the fn he did...b/c it went better with our chosen mn than the other fn we considered, which ended up being ds2s fn.


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12-14-2012 at 8:52 PM
BrittKav
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For Anneliese's middle name, we just chose a name we liked. Her first name is after DH's grandmothers (Anne and Elsie), so we felt like we could just choose something we loved the sound of for her mn. We wanted it to be cute, quirky, and old-fashioned. We chose Olive and love it. 

For Hazel's middle name, we wanted a name with significance because her first name was just a name we liked (not after family or anything). We chose Dianna after my grandma, who we are very close with- she's like a second mother to me (more of a first mother these days, now that I think about it). It didn't cause any hurt feelings that I'm aware of because it's known how close we are with her.

For this new baby, we chose Luna as a name we just liked with no family history. We couldn't find another name in our family we liked well enough to use as a middle name, so we decided to use an Irish name instead, kind of in honor of DH's family's Irish heritage. We chose Mairéad because we love how it sounds. 


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12-14-2012 at 11:41 PM
LeahB12
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We use family names. A family name for a mn is way more important to me than flow or popularity. I want the mn to have meaning.

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12-15-2012 at 2:34 AM
Keri Marie
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For us, we chose MNs from family. I didn't care about the feelings or opinions of others. We love our kids names.
12-15-2012 at 7:43 AM
ClaryPax
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We are using family names for our middle names.  DS's first name is a non obvious derivative of H's name and the middle name is my Grandpa's middle name.

LO's middle name will be after H's grandma's middle name. Its kind of cool to name the middle name after another middle name because its a way to honor someone and have it be a little less of a known name for them.  

No one expects us to name the kids after anyone, so there are no hurt feelings.  

 
12-15-2012 at 12:54 PM
Chelscole
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We use family names. We have issues with boy names though because we don't have any names we really like. He likes my grandpas name Virgil but that is really all. Our DD who is due in three days will either have the middle name Charlotte or Anastasia. Charlotte is my grandmothers name and Anne is actually both of his grandmothers name and my grandmothers middle name.
 
12-15-2012 at 6:35 PM
this decaf...
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We wanted a more "unique" middle name, something we loved but couldn't quite commit to as the FN. Clementine does just so happen to fall a few generations back on my family tree but we didn't choose it to honor anyone. I didn't worry at all about wether or not we used a family name, it's our baby and we wanted something we loved.
12-15-2012 at 6:35 PM
CabbageCab...
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I like family names to honor someone specific. There are plenty of great names from a few generations back but I don't know those people, so that seems no more special to me than choosing based on sound. Just my feeling.  

We decided to give a first daughter the middle name Eleanor long before we picked out first names. It's his grandmother's name and she raised him. Luckily, I like it. I am not sure if we would have picked it if her name was Bertha or something else I don't like. Finding her first name was the hard part.

It is already decided that a second daughter would/will get Katherine, my mom's name, as a MN. Boys are so much harder. DH likes the idea of a junior. I hate it. Neither of us has a strong relationship with our dads, so a future boy will be much tougher to name. We aren't even thinking about #2 for a while and we may adopt an older, already named, child so it might not matter anyway. 


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12-15-2012 at 8:52 PM
Lue94
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Family names for middle names and DH and I don't care about hurt feelings. This is our child.

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12-16-2012 at 12:05 AM
blu-eyedwi...
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We never worried about hurt feelings, but in our religion we don't name after anyone living.

We used a family name for my son's middle name because I wanted him to have a tie to his grandfather, who he will never get to meet.


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12-16-2012 at 12:27 PM
Amanda&Eri...
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My mom passed away a year ago and we will be incorporating her name into this child's name somehow. Her middle name was Gail so if we have a girl, her MN will likely be Gail.

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