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12-14-2012 at 7:28 PM
Mama-Bear
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For those expecting #2 - If you open this, expect to cry

If you're ready for a cry session, read the poem "Loving Two".  I had a really hard time with this when I was pg with my twins, so much of it is true.

Loving Two

As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.

There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.

And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.

I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

 


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12-14-2012 at 8:02 PM
jinnymb
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Thanks for posting!  I really struggled with having a second baby, but I have to say they really complete each other.  I took DS1 out tonight for a date and as soon as we got home, he was calling for his brother and they couldn't wait to get into bed together, lol.

It makes me curious to see how a third plays out, but honestly it amazes me everyday how much love I have to give and they have for each other. 




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12-14-2012 at 8:43 PM
AimeeL85
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I started tearing up at "our time alone is limited"....I think I need to save this one for tomorrow.

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12-15-2012 at 12:55 AM
faithfulfa...
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Gosh, I felt all of this and a week ago, I had my sweet baby girl. I have seen my two year old through fresh eyes nd seen his heart unfolding, and know I definitely gave him a gift. Lovely post, I'm crying for sure!!!

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12-15-2012 at 8:16 AM
LaurelBee
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Love this! Thanks for posting :)

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12-15-2012 at 8:19 AM
saturdayni...
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Beautiful and true. I'm hoping the transition to three goes the same way, bittersweet at first, but then it all works out and is balanced.

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12-15-2012 at 8:23 AM
skychick31...
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That was lovely, thank you for posting.  I know this past week it has really hit me hard that soon it wont be just me and my lil girl anymore.  Guilt and fear of hurting her little feelings have not been a good mix with the hormones. 

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12-15-2012 at 9:29 AM
starting a...
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That's exactly how I feel!! I copied it and sent it to my 12 yr old daughter via facebook. I cried and hopefully she'll feel the love!!

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12-15-2012 at 9:40 AM
pamiva1
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I'm probably in the minority, but I never felt like bringing more children into our family was sad for the older kids. I'm an only child, and I see the benefits of my kids having siblings as endless. Sure, your time with each child will be different, but I think it's better!

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12-15-2012 at 12:16 PM
Sagen
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pamiva1:
I'm probably in the minority, but I never felt like bringing more children into our family was sad for the older kids. I'm an only child, and I see the benefits of my kids having siblings as endless. Sure, your time with each child will be different, but I think it's better!

I agree with you! Besides I have three with four on the way and I get plenty of alone time with each kid, you just have to find the time. I take my two older ones to basketball each week and we hang out after. My preschooler is home alone with me half days when he get home from pre-k till the older kids get home. Even when they are a little you can get one and one time when the baby naps which is a lot, you can play together. Getting a sitter, or leaving them with dad and taking them somewhere alone. When one or two are doing something else I read on the couch or cuddle with one. We don't always do stuff all together.

The OP read kind of sad, but I just don't really see it that way. There is a bit of a learning curve for the oldest to adjust to a new one, but if you are positive about the change, it helps the tone of the transistion.


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12-15-2012 at 8:32 PM
ilenegrace
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Yep teary!

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12-18-2012 at 2:50 AM
Mason&Mama
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Thanks for making me cry .. at work. I just want to be home to hug my little boy right now. I have teared up a few days this week realizing that his time as my only baby is almost gone. This was something that I really needed to read tonight.

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