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I'm so sorry. The first visit is rough. I remember trying to avoid it thinking it would somehow be easier later - which it wasn't. I finally told myself (and is a mantra I use a lot) that "we've experienced the worst, nothing else is anything." The first time was really, really hard. Then it was ok for a while, then the engraving was done on his stone and it was hard again - made it more permanent. Now I go quite a bit. Sometimes when I need a good cry, sometimes when I just miss him and on special days. I sometimes go by myself. Sometimes with DH and sometimes with our dog too. You are not alone. If you don't go again or for a while, it's ok. If you do, that's ok too. Our babies are in heaven all playing with each other. Wishing you peace and love.
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