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12-16-2012 at 10:25 PM
jlynn9558
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Joined on 05-19-2011
126 Points
jlynn9558 is not online. Last active: 02-19-2013, 4:45 PMNewbie

*sigh* TTC just isn't working like it should... soul crushing issues

so hi... I'm new to The Bump... I did the knot thing last year when I got married... and it has been over a year and here we are... still baby-less... My husband is in the navy and we've been at it TTC following temps, ovulation patterns and everything else under the sun...

we finally went and got all of our fertility testing and we found that it is a male factor. my OB is out on maternity leave until Feb (if that isn't soul crushing watching the one doctor that is suppose to help you get pregnant showing off her big bump and cutest little baby in the world while you are internally crying wishing it was you). IUI was the suggestion to us... 

This wouldn't be the end of the world and something that I would be willing to run out and do today if it wasn't for the fact that with 3 herniated disc's in my back and a looming back surgery in Feb knowing that for 6 weeks post-op I won't even be able to bend, twist or lift anything. It puts a whole hold on everything... 

 If feels like every attempt we make or try hasn't helped. It's just the feeling of longing and hoping. I was secretly hoping upon all hope that this christmas I would be able to give the love of my life a positive pregnancy test under the christmas tree... It would be the best christmas present he could ever hope for. He is more bummed about me not being pregnant yet than I am. 

 I know that my health is more important that any baby, not to mention that I want to be healthy enough to be able to carry my child to term, care for them when they are born, and be able to be healthy enough to be there for them for the rest of their lives... I can't be selfish in the moment... 

You want to know the more obnoxious thing... I hate knowing that the Catholic church opposes IUI and I don't understand why when it is using the sperm of my husband... we're not breaking our marriage and it isn't even a guarantee for conception... no life happens outside of the body and there is no way we would ever believe that this child is any less worthy of life, spirit or respect because it was not conceived naturally... grr... anybody else in this boat??

 
12-17-2012 at 6:11 AM
jadwedd
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Joined on 04-29-2003
21,356 Points
jadwedd is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 3:59 PMBronze
First I wanted to wish you luck.  If you are only seeing your ob I suggest you run to an re before you start messing around with Clomid.  You have to do what the dr says with your back situation and I know every month is torture but good things are worth the wait.  As far as the church goes I know exactly what you mean.  They oppose fertility treatment for many reasons.  DH has to masturbate and they are against that, it takes the baby making out of the marriage bed and they are against that, and the fear that there would be too many babies or embryos created and some would have to be reduced, they are really against that.  I work as a teacher for the church and cannot even tell them why I have to take off or they can fire me for having ivf.  But I see it this way.  And I have been Catholic my whole life and went to their schools and everything.  But I would rather convert than have my dreams crushed by a man made rule.  They break their rules all the time anyway - don't worry about them.  If you raise the baby in a loving home and teach him or her to love God then when you get to meet God I am sure he will be cool with iui or ivf.  Now I will get off my soapbox and head into work.

Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
12-17-2012 at 7:38 AM
BootsOrHea...
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Joined on 02-25-2012
72,767 Points
BootsOrHearts is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 3:41 PMSilver

I agree with PP - see an RE and ask for a referral to a urologist. There are many things they can do to help with MFI, meds he can take, procedures, etc. They have to get to the root of why he's having issues. 

As far as the faith issues, I'd have to say, don't do anything that you will later regret. If your faith says it's a no-no, I'd think very hard before doing it anyway. Do you have a priest or a pastor you can talk it over with and understand their perspective before you make your decision? 

And anyway, I don't agree with your OB that IUI is the only way. I think you need to see a specialist in MFI and get some recommendations. 



 BabyFruit Ticker
TTC since January, 2011 | Me: 39, DH: 38 |DX: DOR and Uterine Fibroids | Natural BFP#1 January 31, 2012 | Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d on May 11, 2012 | Three surgeries and 26 fibroids later. . . | Natural cycle = BFN | 2 medicated cycles = BFN | IUI#1 = BFN | IUI#2 = Cancelled due to poor response | IVF#1=BFP#2 EDD Oct. 29, 2013, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish | Natural cycle = BFP#3, Beta 1=1250, Beta 2=2230, EDD 12/21/13, Hello Izzy!|
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ― Helen Keller
 
12-17-2012 at 10:04 AM
diamante11...
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Joined on 02-22-2011
2,643 Points
diamante1181 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 2:37 PMNewbie
As a Catholic myself, I have grappled with the very issue of ART. It is a rule that the pope has set, which has no medical insight. Like, what he says would make sense if I could ovulate on my own, or not have insulin resistance, such as I do. The supposed reasoning behind it is that #1 We are playing God when we do that (which btw, there is obviously no guarantee of conception/implantation taking place), and #2 Anything that prevents the husband and wife committing the act (aka lovemaking) is against God. It is merely one facet, one perspective, it is not what God Himself says. The bible says be fruitful and multiply, so which is the bigger sin, is what I asked myself: To go against what the pope (a man) and the Church say, or go against God. I think anything that multiplies love is a good thing. But this is a personal decision, I am in way telling you what you should do. But this is how I came to peace and made a decision. I don't want to be that person drowning in the ocean and turning away the boat and the ladder. How de we know this is not God's way of helping? There are many things I can reference here but none of us has all day to discuss :)

Me: 31, PCOS (insulin resistance) TTC since 05/11. DH: 31 Great SA after multivitamins and diet improvements 6/25 IUI #1 cancelled IVF #1 w/ICSI on 8/23 CANCELLED due to ovulation. IVF #1.2 BFN 11/6 3 snowbabies. FET #1 12/20. Beta 12/31-BFFN FET #2 scheduled for 6/12. Everyone WELCOME!!  
12-17-2012 at 10:55 AM
jlynn9558
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Joined on 05-19-2011
126 Points
jlynn9558 is not online. Last active: 02-19-2013, 4:45 PMNewbie
My doc suggested IUI to start because I guess his stuff wasn't that bad. They're just sluggish. I have a referral to an infertility clinic but we are now waiting until after the back surgery and trying to figure out how we are going to afford it. Tricare doesn't cover it... I'm in the very beginning stages of the whole process and I don't even know all of your acronyms yet...
 
12-17-2012 at 11:08 AM
lisa41982
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Joined on 10-29-2007
Columbus, OH
1,941 Points
lisa41982 is not online. Last active: 04-02-2013, 6:20 PMNewbie

The Catholic church's views on reproduction and I had a parting of the ways when I was 16. My mother (a loyal Catholic school employee for her entire teaching career) carried the insurance. When I wasn't cycling regularly (if at all), the doctors prescribed birth control to regulate my cycle and prevent future uterine cancer. Insurance denied it - even with medical documentation that it was for purposes other than birth control (I wasn't even sexually active). My parents and I discussed and we decided that, although expensive, it was the best course of treatment.

Later, I was also told that I would probably need medical intervention to have a successful pregnancy. I remembered my 7th grade teacher's lecture on the church's view on IUI/IVF and decided, again, that I need to make my own medical decisions.

We were even discouraged from sharing my potential reproductive struggles during pre-Cana (my husband is still Catholic) by family friends because some priests would consider not marrying us knowing that children may not be an outcome of our marriage (without medical intervention). We ended up not disclosing it.

So, after 13 years of Catholic school, yes, I hate knowing that the Catholic church opposes everything that I am doing to have a family. We by-passed IUI because of MF. We are proceeding on to IVF #2 because it is the best medical decision for my husband and I after 3 years of TTC. 


Dx PCOS 2006 - on Metformin
Dx Hypothyroid 2009 - on Synthroid
TTC since 12/2009
DH - Low Sperm Count

IVF with ICSI Cycle #1 - October/November- 10/11 Begin Lupron, 10/20 Begin 300iu Gonal-F, Trigger 10/31, ER 11/2, 12 retrieved, 11 mature, 6 fertilized, ET 11/5 - 2 Grade 1 8 cells, 2 frozen blasts (5BA, 3BB), Beta #1 @ 8dp3dt: 7, Beta #2 @ 11dp3dt: 2 :(

IVF with ICSI Cycle #2 - January - 12/30 Begin Lupron, 1/8 Begin 300iu Gonal-F, ER 1/20, 13 retrieved, 11 mature, 6 fertilized, ET 1/25 - 2 blasts (grades 4BA, 1)

Everyone Welcome

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12-17-2012 at 11:49 AM
teridaniel...
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Joined on 07-06-2009
7,101 Points
teridanielle is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 7:54 AMNewbie

Hi!  And Welcome to the board!  IF is a long hard road for many of us filled with so many disappoints so this board is a great place to be get encouragement and answers. 

I'm a catholic, born and raised, and so is my Husband.  We know that the church is against our decisions to use fertility treatments (ART), but honestly I feel God isn't passing judgment on us as all we are trying to do is have a child and bring him/her up in the ways of the church. 

It's a decision each couple has to make on their own when deciding to follow the churches rules or follow the desires of your heart.  For us we want a child so badly and IVFis pretty much the only way for us to get have a child b/c I have severe endometriosis.  Other women suffer from issues like blocked tubes where a traditional pregnancy would be impossible.  Thus, I don't believe its the Church's place to deny a woman/couple the ability to have a child. 

I follow my faith and I am strong believe in the God Almighty, but as for the Church and this issue we see it differently. 


All Welcome

Me: 29 DH: 30

IF DX severe endo SA: PERFECT!

7/16/2011 Married handsome hubby!
9/2012 Lap/Hystercopy DX w/ Stage III endo
Bilaterial Uterine Suspension/D&C/HSG
HCG/D&D on R/L ovaries/chromaltubation/Uterine Polyp
10/2012 RE consult. DX move straight to IVF
IVF #1 11/27/2012
IVF #1 Cancelled for Low Response and Converted to IUI #1 --- BFN

IVF #1.2 BCP 12/29 Stims 1/21 w/ New Protocol - Antongonist (225 Menopur, 150 Follistim, & Ganirelix)
ER 2/2/13 11R,9M,8F -- ET 2/7/13 2 Beautiful Perfect Blasts/5 made it Freeze! -- 2/12/12 +HPT -- 2/14/13 Beta #1 71 -- 2/18/2013 Beta #2 521 YAY! Let this be our take home baby!

Cutest girl in the world!! http://instagr.am/p/JVp-yUr_Ig/Mitzee's morning hair http://instagr.am/p/Lc2yjbr_BE/

 Pregnancy Ticker 
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