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12-17-2012 at 11:14 AM
MyLilPeanu...
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MyLilPeanut11 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 5:35 PMNewbie

nice ways to ward off relatives??

everyone says i come off as a b**** even though i seriously am really nice, a little shy though. this will be our first trip to dh side of family and my sons seperation anxiety is HIGH. i know his fam is going to try and scoop him up right away so what are some ways to have them stop without hurting their feelings? ive  always just said, "oh, sorry give him 30 mins to get used to everyone otherwise he will cry". somehow ppl say im being bitchy....?

also whats a good gift to give to a group of ppl ranging ages 20-80...i thought just baking cookies but i would like to do something a little more special but we cant buy all 20 of them gifts. thx!
 
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12-17-2012 at 11:21 AM
Mama2TwoBo...
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You don't sound b*tchy at all to me. But then again, I can totally relate.

Maybe try to make it funny... like "He's really shy, and needs some time to warm up to everyone. I'd hate to subject the whole group to his highly functional lungs! :)"

Anyone who has had a child will understand. 

As for gifts - there's all sorts of fun homemade stuff I'm doing this year that's budget friendly. Cookies are good, or cookie mixes in a jar, Chocolate covered pretzels with xmas sprinkles, candy cane hot chocolate dippers, candied nuts... just a few ideas.
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12-17-2012 at 11:51 AM
HilarityEn...
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We are going to be experiencing this too this weekend.  I will say something similar to what you are planning.  Who is telling you you come off as a b!tch?  Personally, I couldn't care less if someone thinks I'm a b!tch if it means making sure that DS is comfortable in his environment.  Eff em.
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12-17-2012 at 11:55 AM
spain116
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Consider a wrap or carrier, that way he's literally tied to you until you're ready. 
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12-17-2012 at 12:12 PM
mrscjmb941...
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Mama2TwoBoys:

Maybe try to make it funny... like "He's really shy, and needs some time to warm up to everyone. I'd hate to subject the whole group to his highly functional lungs! :)"

I like this. Maybe get DH to deal with them...like:

'Hey guys, I know he's cute and all, but he'll be here all day! There's quite a few people so he's a little wary, just give him 30 mins and he will be totally cool!'
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12-17-2012 at 12:28 PM
HilarityEn...
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mrscjmb9410:
Mama2TwoBoys:

Maybe try to make it funny... like "He's really shy, and needs some time to warm up to everyone. I'd hate to subject the whole group to his highly functional lungs! :)"

I like this. Maybe get DH to deal with them...like:

'Hey guys, I know he's cute and all, but he'll be here all day! There's quite a few people so he's a little wary, just give him 30 mins and he will be totally cool!'

I like mrscjmb's response.  I know they are still young and can't understand, but I would be hesitant to place the "shy" label on him.  My aunt did this to my cousin and my cousin sort of starting "owning" the label when in reality, she really wasn't shy. 

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12-17-2012 at 12:35 PM
Mama2TwoBo...
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HilarityEnsued:
mrscjmb9410:
Mama2TwoBoys:

Maybe try to make it funny... like "He's really shy, and needs some time to warm up to everyone. I'd hate to subject the whole group to his highly functional lungs! :)"

I like this. Maybe get DH to deal with them...like:

'Hey guys, I know he's cute and all, but he'll be here all day! There's quite a few people so he's a little wary, just give him 30 mins and he will be totally cool!'

I like mrscjmb's response.  I know they are still young and can't understand, but I would be hesitant to place the "shy" label on him.  My aunt did this to my cousin and my cousin sort of starting "owning" the label when in reality, she really wasn't shy. 

That's a good point!!

I need to be much better about that.  I sometimes say things like SS is shy, or gets over excited, or doesn't use his listening ears, even though really he's such a great kiddo.... I forget how easily what we say can affect our kids.

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12-17-2012 at 3:04 PM
acaudill75
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I have this problem with MIL. She insists that she's the grandmother and its her right to smother DDs. I usually give her about 30 seconds with them before they start screaming bloody murder and then I say, "told you so," and take my girls back. They eventually warm up to her, but its the same thing everytime. I don't care if I come across b*tchy. They are my kids, I bear the scars from birthing them, and I will decide what is right for them. Just hold people off until LO has become acclimated. You don't want him to become so attached to you that he won't ever go to someone else, but you don't want him terrified of them because they are busy pinching cheeks and smothering him either.
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12-18-2012 at 7:34 AM
silvie25
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acaudill75:
I have this problem with MIL. She insists that she's the grandmother and its her right to smothernbsp;DDs. I usually give her about 30 seconds with them before they start screaming bloody murder and then I say, "told you so," and take my girls back. They eventually warm up to her, but its the same thing everytime. I don't care if I come across btchy. They are my kids, I bear the scars from birthing them, and I will decide what is right for them. Just hold people off until LO has become acclimated. You don't want him to become so attached to you that he won't ever go to someone else, but you don't want him terrified of them because they are busy pinching cheeks and smothering him either.

I'm all too familiar with this but its my own mother mostly!! I tell her dd doesn't like to always be held, or smothered. She's in the active stage and wants to stand and crawl and play she doesn't listen and when dd gets upset and cries my mom keeps holding her and tries to console her??? When I say put her down she gets mad at me and says I just want to hold her I'm her grandma ... WTF?

I'm so done with ppl, espectially our parents chiming in on things we are or aren't doing, and things we should be doing. Its too much. Just let us be parents.
 
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