We did not do our own outreach. The agency was truly "one-stop shopping" in that they did everything: homestudy, help with our profile, outreach/advertising, counseling (before and after birth for all members of the triad, especially BPs), post-placement, finalization.
Our adoption fees were $34K, including all of the above. Wait time couldn't even be averaged, but the longest wait was 2 years (we waiting 3 months after our profile went active).
Our state doesn't allow for BM expenses. You could donate to a fund the agency has for birthfamilies, and they cut a check directly to a landlord, dr, etc. if BPs/EPs need financial help. The agency actually discouraged larger donations to this fund, as they didn't want anyone to feel like they were influenced by a large amount of BP support.
There were times I worried about the ethics of their advertising arm, or the hefty chunk that was our match fee. But I also saw our SW showing up at 8PM to walk us through a mound of paperwork when we were matched, our BM's SW crossing the county to help facilitate 3 matches in one day, and the stories of our SW meeting with BPs at 7AM to have coffee and talk about any issues they were having. It made me feel better that some of that match $ was going to pay their salaries.
The concept of finding an infant for a couple has struck me. But I guess I have to think about it as, where else would this child be going if it weren't for these agencies? Less than ideal situations with their BPs? Foster care? I will agree that the situation is not ideal, and maybe this isn't the right option for you, or that things need to change on one level or another. It's a complex question and I don't claim to have all the answers..