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12-17-2012 at 9:39 PM
andy71781
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Chicago
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andy71781 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 12:02 PMBronze

Ok - this is crazy right?

So I have this cousin, who was like a brother to me.  He met this fantastic girl and they got engaged.  Due to a big f-up on various parts, he ended up scheduling his wedding on my wedding day.  I haven't spoken to his wife since, but my cousin and I recently made up over facebook (very mature right?)

Anyway, I have been her facebook friend for awhile and i'm noticing a pattern in her status updates.  I can read several of them with an IF tint.  For example, today she posted "There is only one thing on my Christmas list this year"  

I realize that I am overly sensitive to this type of thing but I can't help but wonder if she is going through this.  If she is, even if we aren't close, I couldn't bear for her to go through it alone if I knew that I could maybe help her.  Her sister in law just announced a pregnancy last week and if she is going through this shiit it probably really sucks for her.

I'm thinking about reaching out to her or my cousin.  Kind of just saying - hey - I'm infertile...so if you want to talk about being infertile....let me know!

 Is this crazy? 


My TTTC blog

TTC since July 2011 Dx: Annovulation, u/s dx of PCOS HSG = all clear November-December 2012: IVF #1 Stims start 11/30 27R 20M 19F. Transferred 1 amazing blast and froze 8. 12/23: BFP! Beta #1= 86 Beta #2=186 6 weeks 1 day saw h/b; u/s at 9 weeks 1 day, no h/b D&C 1/31 April 2013: FET #2 BFP 4/25/13 Beta #1= 10 Beta #2 =4 c/p May 2013: IVF#2
 
12-17-2012 at 10:20 PM
twistsandt...
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twistsandturnsto2 is online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 12:20 PMSilver
I don't think it's crazy.... but I guess it all depends on what sort of a relationship you have or want to have with her. I've had someone i went to high school with reach out to me bc of FB and Pinterest(before the secret boards!) and I was welcome for the kinship/advice, but, that being said, i am open about IF. I think you have to try to decide if she would be open to you. 

Me: 34, DH: 30 :: TCC since 2/11
SA: Perfect! CD3 b/w=Elevated Prolactin? HSG = Blocked Right Tube
April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN
May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN
August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
Scar Tissue Removed, Left Tube Partially Open
September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 8F, 2 Transferred, 6 Frosties!)
Beta #1- 176 c/p @ 4w4d
FET #1 February 26th
Lost 4 Frosties to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
IVF # 2 in May Stims Begin 5/9


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~~SAIF/PAIF Welcome~~ 
12-17-2012 at 10:40 PM
Juicy71
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I might try to figure out a way to casually mention it to your cousin. Not in terms of them at all, but just maybe you can just bring up your experience in some way. Mention that you just did IVF or something, that no one in the family really knows but you wanted to confide in him since its hard not having anyone to talk to about it. I don't know... I just wouldn't even imply that they are having an issue with it and let her come to you if she's comfortable.

Me: 41 DH: 37 - AMA, DOR
BFP 2.12.2012, c/p 2.17.2012
IUIs 1-3 = BFFN :(
IVF #1 - Sept 2012 = BFFN :(
IVF #2 - Dec 2012 = BFP!! EDD 9/4/2013
Beta #1 = 107, Beta #2 = 4,650!! U/S 1/15/2013
Everyone welcome!
Team Pink!!
 BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary

 
12-18-2012 at 6:04 AM
jadwedd
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jadwedd is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 10:36 AMBronze
I don't think it is crazy.  It shows what a sweet caring person you are. 

Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
12-18-2012 at 7:28 AM
cwoodward7...
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cwoodward777 is not online. Last active: 04-06-2013, 8:01 PMNewbie
I think this is really sweet of you, but be careful.  I have a friend who was complaining about her problems getting pregant.  After talking more to her, she said they have been trying for 3 months.  She was ready to call her doctor to get tested because of "her problems".  I would find out more specifically what she is going through before you tell her what you are going through completely.  She would be a great support system if you are going through the same thing.  GL.

My TTC Story:
Me: 38,DH: 46, Married 10/07/2011, TTC since 09/2011, 03/2012 Started Clomid, 04/2012 Clomid, 05/2012 Clomid, 06/2012 Went to RE, he found a plum size fibroid in uterus, husband has low sperm count, 06/06/2012 Removed fibroid, 08/2012 Hysteroscopy, 09/27/2012 started IVF meds, 10/10/2012 Retrieved 8 eggs, 5 fertilized, 10/13/2012 Transferred 3 eggs - 8, 5, and 4 cells, 10/26/2012 BFP!! Beta: 11, 10/26/12 Beta: 2 = Chemical Pregancy
*PAIF/SAIF Welcome*
 
12-18-2012 at 8:06 AM
tptbabe
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tptbabe is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 11:56 AMBronze
I reached out to a college roomate over FB because she was posting about IF issues (she was more obvious about it though). She was very grateful, as she didn't know anyone else who was going through it, and felt very alone. We're both pretty open people though, so I knew it wouldn't be an issue to talk about it.

My Ovulation Chart
TTC with MFI and poor ovulation since 03/11
TCM and progesterone supplements
Early loss in 08/11
MFI Dx in 03/12 Low count, low motility, poor morphology and high levels of anti-sperm antibodies
Treated with supplements and TCM. Much lower on all factors. Count too low to test for anti-bodies
Met with new urologist 11/12
IUI #1 12/12: Letrozole + Gonal-F = BFN
DH started Clomid 01/13
New SA shows 33 million sperm! Thank you Clomid!!!
Discovered I am hypothyroid 04/13 waiting for specialist appointment
Hoping to try IUI again in July?
 
12-18-2012 at 8:20 AM
DoublePort...
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DoublePortion is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 12:05 PMSilver

cwoodward777:
I think this is really sweet of you, but be careful.  I have a friend who was complaining about her problems getting pregant.  After talking more to her, she said they have been trying for 3 months.  She was ready to call her doctor to get tested because of "her problems".  I would find out more specifically what she is going through before you tell her what you are going through completely.  She would be a great support system if you are going through the same thing.  GL.

I agree with this. Do you think you could talk to your cousin before reaching out to his wife? Perhaps he would tell you if they really are having problems and if she would even be receptive. Good luck!


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Me: 29 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012!
Him: 27 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy with partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo. Stopped BC 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
Occasionally using acupuncture.
IVF #1:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embies txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage Endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
PAIF/SAIF always welcome!

If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus! 
12-18-2012 at 7:48 PM
Ecarabeo21...
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Ecarabeo217 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 9:36 AMBronze
DoublePortion:

cwoodward777:
I think this is really sweet of you, but be careful.  I have a friend who was complaining about her problems getting pregant.  After talking more to her, she said they have been trying for 3 months.  She was ready to call her doctor to get tested because of "her problems".  I would find out more specifically what she is going through before you tell her what you are going through completely.  She would be a great support system if you are going through the same thing.  GL.

I agree with this. Do you think you could talk to your cousin before reaching out to his wife? Perhaps he would tell you if they really are having problems and if she would even be receptive. Good luck!

This! I know some people who might post things like that not because they're having trouble, but because they just stopped contraception and are hoping they'll be pregnant by that time...before you go spilling your beans, especially to someone that you have had some drama with, I'd find out if there's anything to commiserate about! Don't set yourself up to get hurt again since you don't know if she may be just being coy about news she already knows....good luck!


Married 2007 3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs IVF #1 never made it to transfer On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013 Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on. OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." -- Margaret Thatcher  
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