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12-17-2012 at 10:14 PM
AmberDawnL
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Joined on 08-25-2007
Fort Worth, TX
3,112 Points
AmberDawnL is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 9:04 AMBronze

Help Me Confront my Mother (long, sorry)

So my mom watches Travis at least once a week while DH and I work.  He loves going over there and she loves having him and I'm so very lucky to have her and my dad and my ILs able to watch him so much for us.

That being said...my mother will not take him to the potty.  I consider him day time potty trained.  He wears underwear whenever he is awake at home or out somewhere and he does great.  Of course he has an occassional accident but I think he's doing amazing so far.  But when he stays over there, she asks him if he needs to go, and he tells her no because he's playing and she accepts that and doesn't take him and he ends up peeing in his pants.  I've told her before that even if he says no, please take him anyway because he probably really does need to go, he's just being stubborn and wanting to play.  When I have tried to talk to her about it before she just says that he said he didn't need to go, or he just wouldn't go, or she's a failure at taking him to the potty.  He ended up peeing in his pants three times today...the last time was when DH picked him up tonight, so who knows how long he'd been sitting there in wet clothes.  I don't know how to confront her about this because she does take care of him for free whenever I ask, but I hate that she seems to be refusing to take him to the potty.  Should he just wear a pull up to her house?  I'm sure I need to just man up and talk to her but I'm soooo bad at confrontation.  Help me approach this gently please????

And a side note...I never get on the real website anymore.  I am usually on my phone so I never see anyone's pictures.  All these kids are adorable!!!




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12-18-2012 at 8:52 AM
kenna_4
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Joined on 10-12-2009
15,122 Points
kenna_4 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 7:27 PMSilver
I'd straight up be like Mom he doesn't pee in his pants for anybody else. Bring him to the potty every hour and make him sit there. I'd also try telling him he HAS to pee on the potty at your Moms. If that fails I guess put him in a pull up, but that seems like a step back to me. GL

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12-18-2012 at 9:02 AM
sstara
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Joined on 07-14-2008
Lawrence, KS
13,131 Points
sstara is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 1:59 PMGold
What if you bought a potty that can be left in the room where he plays for her house?  We have one in our living room and when Parker sits on it he always takes a book or his trains or something to play with while going potty.  Not sure if that would work or not...

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12-18-2012 at 11:40 AM
Jessandthe...
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Joined on 01-22-2010
East Tennessee
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JessandtheBabe is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 9:17 PMBronze

I've had to have similar talks with my mother. I think it's important to tell them this: "You are the adult, he is the child. If you tell him it's time to go to the potty, you take him there. You are the adult."

Can you buy her an egg timer and tell her to set it for every hour or however often works for you? Grandparents can be a bit lazy or not realize how much time is passing. A timer might help.

I have to also remind my mother that she's not asking DD. We don't say, "Do you need to go to the potty?" because it's opening the door for a fight by giving her the option. We say, "Ok, it's time to try to go potty!!happy voice!!!" When she's gotten it down better we can ask instead of tell. 


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12-18-2012 at 1:51 PM
KellyD01
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Joined on 02-11-2008
Pittsburgh, PA
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KellyD01 is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 8:49 PMBronze
MIL had a potty seat in her living room for DS when he was pting. He didn't like having to go down the stairs to go at her house she she kept the seat there and he never once had an accident at her house. We also made a game of trying to potty if he was resistant. I'd say, "I think you have to go, who's right mommy or you?" and if he'd still insist he didn't have to go, we'd tell him to prove it. After a little cajoling he'd go "prove" it and usually we were right, but sometimes he was, which he got a huge kick outof.

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