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12-18-2012 at 12:48 PM
Cate715
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Rude comments!

Anyone else getting any rude comments from friends/family? For the most part my friends and family have been saying how wonderful I look and how tiny I am. Then there are the select few that seem to think inconsiderate comments are no big deal. 2 days ago my mother in law's husband said "You look like you're going to explode!" I almost punched him in the nose! And my mom's favorite thing to say is, "This baby is going to come early!"--which if you are a hormonal, sensitive pregnant woman translates into, "You look big, or bigger than you should." I'm 33 weeks along and have gained about 30 lbs. I am short (5'2), so putting on this weight has been really hard for me. I eat healthy and walk regularly and was at a healthy weight when I got pregnant. And I feel good! Doctor says I am doing great. So why the rude comments? It really takes a toll on my confidence and makes me feel sad and unattractive!
 
12-18-2012 at 12:57 PM
JenniD2
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I honestly think some people just don't know any better. I am all belly, and I cannot tell you how many times people have commented on how big I am even from women that are pregnant. I really try to not let it bother me. I know that my bump is big. I think I find it more annoying to hear the same thing over and over again.

 
12-18-2012 at 12:58 PM
kerbear135
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Maybe they think they're being funny..my Dad asked DH Sunday if he ever felt like sneaking a marker into our bedroom and writing "Goodyear" across my belly while I was sleeping...DH was smart and answered that I wasn't anywhere near that big, but Dad just thought he was hilarious.

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12-18-2012 at 12:58 PM
82Sonia
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People are clueless with pregnant women.  Try to ignore them. I'm also 5'2" and have gained 30 lbs. all out front.  I am so sick of hearing that there is no way I'm making it to 40 weeks because "I'm all baby."  No duh, I didn't gain this weight for the hell of it, it's the baby.  And thanks for wishing a preemie on me. 

Although I did laugh when I showed my dad my belly button (which is now flat with some weird dark spot in the middle) and he told me it looked like a cat's butt. 


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12-18-2012 at 12:59 PM
Rosebean
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I got flat out told by a coworker that I got "bigger over the weekend"- thanks...

Another one this morning told me I "popped" and looked bigger too...

 Yeesh!  


Life was wonderful before you came along. Now I can't imagine how much more spectacular it will be when you come into our lives.  
12-18-2012 at 1:02 PM
Cate715
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Indifferent that's awful! and not funny!
 
12-18-2012 at 1:08 PM
Cate715
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Sorry you all are getting the rudeness thrown your way also. I guess it is true that some people just don't realize the effect their words may have on a pregnant woman. I just wish people were a bit more sensitive. It's hard to imagine what it's like to be pregnant when you've never been or when you're a male I guess, but it's not rocket science that commenting on weight is probably not the best idea.
 
12-18-2012 at 1:17 PM
kalyth76
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I'm at 33 weeks and am not huge at all. I've gained about 30 pounds, but like some of you, have a very small frame. I'm only 5'2 and started out as a size 0. This morning, I had a guy step onto an elevator full of people and say to me "I told you to lay off the chocolates!" Then, he proceeds to ask me "Do you REALLY think you'll loose all that weight after the baby's born?"

It hurt my feelings pretty badly...

Kate

 
12-18-2012 at 1:27 PM
LoisLayn23
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I don't think it's rude. It's honest.

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12-18-2012 at 1:46 PM
GeeksWithS...
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People seem to have a knack for the rude comments, and like some said, too many they might not even seem rude or hurtful. 

Just the other day I came out complaining that my shirts were getting to short, since now I have to pull many of them down a lot or they just don't sit on the belly right anymore. And my fathers lovely reply" its not the shirts fault, you just keep getting bigger and bigger (cue hand gestures)

Its hard but vent, and then let go seems to be the best policy because for some reason it seems that it gets worse when they know they have to try and be sensitive around you :S 


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12-18-2012 at 1:55 PM
rpalen29
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lurker from 2nd tri..

I think its unacceptable to point out weight on a woman.. whether shes pregnant or not.

I saw my FIL's gf over the past weekend, and the first thing she said to me was "wow, are you overeating? it looks like your gaining weight!"

I haven't gained ANY weight; I actually lost a few lbs. This isn't the first time shes said rude things about my weight and pregnancy. My MIL snapped back with a witty comment, something along the lines of "well, I think even you and me need to watch our over eating, shes eating for her plus 1, and she looks terrific so far!" I'm plus size, 5'7 and a size 14/16, so i already had some chunk to begin with. But, that doesn't give her the authority to say something like that. Next time she brings it up i'll flip on her (and desperately want to punch her) 


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12-18-2012 at 2:18 PM
Nikki262
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82Sonia:

People are clueless with pregnant women.  Try to ignore them. I'm also 5'2" and have gained 30 lbs. all out front.  I am so sick of hearing that there is no way I'm making it to 40 weeks because "I'm all baby."  No duh, I didn't gain this weight for the hell of it, it's the baby.  And thanks for wishing a preemie on me. 

Although I did laugh when I showed my dad my belly button (which is now flat with some weird dark spot in the middle) and he told me it looked like a cat's butt. 

That's great! I needed a good laugh!


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12-18-2012 at 2:23 PM
Lisadf1230
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I'm your size and this is my second pregnancy.  This morning I was asked if I was sure there weren't 2 babies in my belly. And I've had multiple people say they would be shocked if I made it to my due date since it "must be miscalculated".  Ummm I'm pretty sure I know when this baby was conceived since I was there and all of my ultrasounds have been measuring right on for my due date but thanks for your opinion. Confused  I agree with previous posters that any comment regarding weight, pregnant or not, is rude. 

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12-18-2012 at 2:37 PM
Mitsya
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It's always rude to comment on someone else's body.  A medical condition does not change that, but people are generally jerks about pretty much everything related to pregnancy.  Can you imagine greeting your cousin with, "Holy crap!  Your adult acne has gotten really BAD!  You look like a supreme pizza ate your head!"

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12-18-2012 at 3:21 PM
sschwege
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People have no clue what they are talking about, try to ignore them!

Case an point: less than a week after I had DD my cousin whom I am really close to came to meet DD.  She asked how much she weighed at birth and I told her 7lb15oz and 21 inches long.  Her response, "I'm surprised she wasn't bigger based on how you were carrying!"  Um, first of all that's not a small baby.  Secondly after she was born and the nurse weighed her, the first comment out of my MW's mouth was, "None of us expected your baby to be that big.  I don't know where you were hiding her!"  People just say stupid stuff!


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12-18-2012 at 3:54 PM
AimnJus917
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JenniD2 - love your baby's name. Marcus is in our top 2 for a boy's name. Ugh, I wish I could decide!  Just wanted to throw that out there...Smile

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12-18-2012 at 8:09 PM
amcourt09
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Rosebean:

I got flat out told by a coworker that I got "bigger over the weekend"- thanks...

I got this same exact comment yesterday!

Its crazy how people say whatever they want to to a pregnant woman. I would never walk up to someone and say "holy crap! Your nose is huge! And your bad haircut makes it look even bigger!". If you wouldn't say it to a non-pregnant person, don't say it to a pregnant lady!

12-18-2012 at 9:08 PM
Kingston54
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I constantly get idiotic comments about how big I am, how the baby is going to come early, how she's going to be big, etc.  So annoying.  Like I'm not uncomfortable enough that I need that too.

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12-18-2012 at 11:24 PM
Jgiesbrech...
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Ok. Truthfully, I feel really large. But I don't want to hear that I am from anyone!

So, here I am now just barely third tri and noticing that I'm getting a bit more tired early on in the evening. My MIL says, "don't you think it's because all of the weight you've gained?" Thanks.

Funny thing is, she just gained 15lbs and doesn't feel good about it. So I think she's projecting her issues on to my pregnancy. I wonder if the others who are making comments to all of you as well are especially weight conscious and just insecure!?

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12-19-2012 at 1:23 PM
dande2129
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I take those comments with a grain of salt. A lot of the time, people just don't know what to say. They probably don't mean any harm, but if it bothers you that much, then grow a backbone and tell them that it bothers you.

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12-19-2012 at 3:27 PM
Shay4ster
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We just had our company Christmas party on Friday and the gem that I got from a drunk male coworker (when I was walking towards him)..."Whoa watch out, WIDE LOAD!"  Thank god my friend jumped to my defence..but really?! 

Then the other day while I was unwrapping a hershey kiss up at our receptionists' desk she says to me "you dont need that, dont you think you should be healthier now.  Thats bad for you"  I kept staring at her as I unwrapped another one, shoved in in my mouth and walked out the door, without saying a word.

Thank god I only have a few more days at work!

 
12-19-2012 at 3:29 PM
cjl5072
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Rosebean:

I got flat out told by a coworker that I got "bigger over the weekend"- thanks...

Another one this morning told me I "popped" and looked bigger too...

 Yeesh!  

I swear my co-workers say this to me EVERY MONDAY.

 
12-19-2012 at 6:15 PM
aleeshaloo
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At my baby shower over the weekend, my aunt looked down at my belly and said "Fat!".    Awesome.

Also at the shower, my friend put her hand on my belly and said "so big!".  

Why do people think that pregnant women are immune to normal feelings about weight gain?  

 
12-19-2012 at 6:24 PM
JRomeH
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LoisLane23:
I don't think it's rude. It's honest.

...because we comment on people's looks and size all the time? I can't say that I've ever told someone who gained weight that they look like they're going to explode. Only during pregnancy do people make comments out loud. Since I've never seen a pregnant woman explode, I wouldn't call that an honest comment. It's rude.


Me(29) DH(29) Married 7/3/06
DD(6!!) 10/4/06
Surprise BFP 5/07, M/C 6/17/07
TTC#2--BFP 9/30/11, EDD 6/4/12, M/C 10/31/11

BFP 5/25/12 EDD 2/4/13 Born 2/9/13
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12-20-2012 at 4:02 PM
Cate715
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Actually Dande2129, I do say that it bothers me, but thanks for the snarky comment about "growing a backbone".

 
12-21-2012 at 12:22 PM
Pearls+Oys...
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Lurker from 2nd tri... And boy do I relate!

At 26 weeks and barely 16 lbs gained, I got pissed when SO's mother and sisters commented on how "big" I'm getting.

Biche, I haven't gained anything on my thighs, legs, OR arms, just the boobies and the belly, so, Sister#2, if you're seriously going to address my "huge gain", then maybe you should also address the fact that after 2 years PP, you still look about 35 weeks pregnant, haven't lost ANY of the 50lbs you gained while pregnant with your DD2 AND get comments about your EDD every single week, although you are NOT pregnant. I never commented on that, as I was raised right. Obviously, you were not!

Fortunately, his mother's boyfriend was quick to jump in and say I was all belly and didn't look pregnant from the back. Didn't believe a single word, but it had them realize how rude they were being. 

I mean, I expect to gain anywhere from 30 to 40 pounds total, what is that going to make me, a frickin' whale?!  I don't think people understand how hard it is, especially when PS, to try and restrict the weight gain, because let's face it, not all plus sized pregnant women lose weight instead of gaining. I feel that if you have a less than stellar record of weight gain/loss you should never comment on anyone's gain/loss. 


 
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