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12-19-2012 at 8:01 AM
irishgirl0...
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irishgirl0525 is online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 5:26 AMBronze

Looks like this isn't our time after all-no heartbeat

DH and I went for my u/s this morning hoping to see a heartbeat, but there was nothing, and there was no growth since last week.  It doesn't even look like a there is a fetal pole in there anymore, it looks like there is something, but not what they are looking for, and definitely no heartbeat.

The doctor doing the monitoring said that we really should have seen a heartbeat last week, and certainly we should have seen one this morning. 

I feel like this is some kind of cruel joke. First we think there are two, then we are told it's only one, and now there are none. 

I am at work, but my boss told me to take the day, I just haven't figured out when to leave yet. I kind of want to get some kind of beta confirmation today before I go, but in reality, I know this is done. I was anxious all weekend about this ultra sound today, I guess I had a feeling about this. 

Still processing this, I think I need to leave the office and have a good cry. Fortunately my husband is home from work this week so I can hang out with him.

Thank you so much for all of your support, I will still be lurking over here to see how you are all doing, and I hope that I get to join you over here again someday soon.  I wish you all the best with your pregnancies and your little ones!
TTC since 3/2010. I'm 40, my husband is 47. He had a vasectomy reversal in January of 2010. We tried on our own for almost a year, then went to an RE. 6 IUIs and several cancelled IVF's and another RE later we are pregnant. 11/2012-new RE, new protocol...IVF cycle #6. 8 follicles but only 4 retrieved and 3 fertilized. 2 6-cell and 1 7-cell C grade fragmented embryos transferred on 11/12-BFP! Beta#1-55, Beta #2-153, Beta #3-593 Beta #4-2402 12/5-First u/s shows 2! One looks good, the 2nd one has no yolk sac visible so fingers crossed! 12/12-2nd sac still empty but fetal pole visible in the other sac. 12/19-No heartbeat and no growth since last week. Miscarriage. Final IVF attempt February 2013. Transferred 2 4-cell embryos, one B grade one D grade. 3/7/13-BFP! Beta #1-97, 3/11 Beta #2-1171 3/14 Beta #3-5095 Beta#4-15,580.  
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12-19-2012 at 8:07 AM
lovelyday3...
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I am so, so sorry to hear this- will be keeping you in my thoughts- (hug)


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12-19-2012 at 8:15 AM
dhreczuck
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I'm so deeply sorry, your in my thoughts as well...
me 40 DH 45 Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our little boy at 16wks after complications from CVS test .
ttc #2
**5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14.
IUI #1-3, 1 CP, 2 BFN's taking a short break
BFP 7/9/12, beta #1=15 beta #2 26 beta #3 36 wtf beta #4 23 C/P ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13! He's finally here, feeling so blessed.. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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12-19-2012 at 8:16 AM
trevinosnm
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Sorry to hear, I too will also keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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12-19-2012 at 8:18 AM
MrsNukem
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I'm so sorry Irish, I was praying for a different outcome.  You and your DH will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
BFP#2 11/2011, CP
FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
Boy/Girl Twins Born at 36w1d
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12-19-2012 at 8:22 AM
Country Gi...
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I am so sorry.  My heart is breaking for you.
BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 BabyFruit Ticker 
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12-19-2012 at 8:23 AM
pillowass
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I am so very sad to read this, Irishgirl. It's just so unfair. Hope to see you back here very soon. 
TTC #2 since July 2010
Me 36, DH 37
FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS!
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12-19-2012 at 8:32 AM
Abeille
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I am so sorry to read this. You and your husband will be in my thoughts.
Me: 39, PCOS/ DH: 37
DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI

TTC#2 since Nov 2011
BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p
-Back to the RE-
3 medicated IUIs, all BFN
-Taking a break from treatment-
BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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12-19-2012 at 8:38 AM
hijoi
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I am so very very sorry.
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12-19-2012 at 8:50 AM
ShellBear+
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Oh no I'm so sorry this has happened.  I am just heartbroken for you and I wonder why these things have to happen.  Please take care of yourself.  I will be thinking of you and hoping to see you back here again soon. 
Pregnancy Ticker

TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 36, DH: 37...unexplained RPL
BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w
BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
BFP#4 8.10.12, EDD 4.23.12 
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12-19-2012 at 8:58 AM
kat1221
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NOOOOO!  Irish I am so, so sorry!  Thoughts and prayers go out to you and DH.
Me: 38, DH: 36, MC 9/07 at 12 weeks DS: 7/25/08 TTC#2 since 11/11 BFP 5/28/12!! DD 1/31/13  
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12-19-2012 at 9:45 AM
jkzinck
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I am so sorry my heart breaks for what you are going through.
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12-19-2012 at 9:59 AM
robbensm
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Oh Irish - I was just over here lurking and saw this.  You have no idea how sorry I am for you.  My heart just aches for you and you will be in my prayers.

My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Calendar Me 38 & PCOS, DH 41. Went of BCP when we got married in Nov 2011, seriously TTC since March 2012. Six cycles of clomid = BFNs. Suspected endometriosos & HSG showed both tubes blocked so researching IVF.  
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12-19-2012 at 10:13 AM
Lenox1975
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Oh Irish - this is so unfair - I am so heartbroken for you.
Me: 37 DH: 37 TTC since Jan 2012. RE consult and initial testing done in Aug 2012: SA fine, AMH 1.1 & HSG clear - on way to IUI but got BFP on 9/10/2012. m/c 10/3/2012 at 6w5d. BFP next cycle which was a c/p. IUI #1: Clomid 100mg 12/6= BFN. IUI#1.5 (unmedicated) Jan 2013 = BFN. Hysteroscopy 1/25/13. IUI#2 Clomid 100mg 2/23 = BFN IUI#3 Clomid 100mg = BFN. IVF #1 April 2013: Menopur & Gonal F, ER=4/21, 9 retrieved, 8 mature, 2 fertilized. Transferred both (8cell) on 4/24. Beta=5/6 All Welcome!
 
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12-19-2012 at 10:14 AM
danuli8
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Irish, I am so very sorry. We were all pulling for you. Sending lots of love and hugs your way. Take time to grieve and be kind to yourself.
Over-40 parents--what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning. :-) Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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12-19-2012 at 10:28 AM
owlprof
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Oh, irishgirl, I am so sorry to hear this news.  I am sorry that this path is so cruel and heartbreaking.  Hugs to you.  I hope that you and your husband are able to take good care of each other.

TTC since Jan 2011,
5 IUIs from January to October 2012 = all BFN
IVF #1, ER scheduled for mid-December  
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12-19-2012 at 10:44 AM
ELF4321
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Oh no sweetie. I can't even tell you how sorry I am. Things should not have gone this way. IF is so cruel. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
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12-19-2012 at 10:46 AM
Haribo1
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I am so so so so sorry.  There are no words.  Keeping you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers.
TTC #1 since Jan 2010. PCOS, osteoporosis and celiac disease.
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Goodbye good boy Toby. We will love and miss you forever - RIP 1/18/12 
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12-19-2012 at 11:01 AM
missymr
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Sending you the biggest of virtual hugs.

I am so incredibly sorry.
BabyFetus Ticker Me: 37 DH: 40 Married: 7/31/2011 TTC since September 2011 BFP: Nov. 22, 2012 EDD: July 29, 2013 
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12-19-2012 at 11:08 AM
TX-Bride
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So sorry to hear about what you are going thru! lots of hugs!
 
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12-19-2012 at 11:13 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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I've been thinking about you all morning. Call me in your way home tonight or I will call you. Another hug:-(

TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
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Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
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12-19-2012 at 11:14 AM
lucyspeopl...
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Oh no, I'm so so sorry! Definitely leave work, have a good cry, and do something really nice for yourself... be indulgent! Ugh, my heart goes out to you. I know how it feels and it just sucks. Hope to see you back here soon.
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I am Bumping from my phone so please forgive typos, brevity and know that I can't see your siggys. 
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12-19-2012 at 11:28 AM
gopackmom
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I am so very very sorry. You will be in my prayers.
Me:35 DH:34 DS born 1/16/2009 TTC#2. Off BC in Aug. 2012. Actively TTC #2 since 10/2012 BFP #2 1/15/13  
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12-19-2012 at 11:32 AM
emikat
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I'm so very, very sorry to hear this news. Hugs.

TTC 10/11. HSG 2/12 normal. DH's SA low normal count. IUI 2/12. BFP 3/8/12. 4/26/12 missed mc. RE consult 5/17/12. IVF #1 ER 7/13/12 53R, 41M ICSIed, 32F, 8 5d, 6 6d blasts - all PGD/frozen. PGD results 1 normal M and 1 normal F, 1 maybe M. FET 9/6, transferred 1 F embie. Beta 9/15 BFN. FET#2 planned for 11/2012 put off until 2013. Surprise BFP 11/21/12!!
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12-19-2012 at 11:42 AM
BAKERMOMHD...
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Oh, this breaks my heart.  I'm so deeply saddened to see this, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lots of hugs...

Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010) DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT! Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011
M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)
8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN
IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal
SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****
 
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12-19-2012 at 11:56 AM
Tigger & p...
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I am so sorry. I don't know how you are feeling right now but I was even more angry than sad for awhile. Just keep talking and never feel bad about the feelings you are having.
 
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12-19-2012 at 12:16 PM
stever
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I actually muttered an epletive when I saw the title of your post. I am so, so, so very sorry.
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12-19-2012 at 12:23 PM
QOTR
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I'm so sorry.   Wishing peace & hope for you.

 
Me-40, Hubby-39. 1st BFP-8/17/12! Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US. D&C. 2nd BFP-2/13/13! Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage. Engaged RE assistance 4/2013. AMH=1.5; FSH=8; Estridol=25. Mosaic X chromosome and MTHFR C677T & A12986 heterozygous issues identified. HSG results = clear.  
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12-19-2012 at 12:45 PM
BeckyP005
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Oh Irish I am so very sorry to be reading this. You and YH are in my thoughts. Big hugs sweetie.
ME:44 MH:42 DE IVF 2013
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12-19-2012 at 1:33 PM
crowdofsta...
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So, so sorry to hear this, Irishgirl. Having gone through the same thing earlier this year, I understand how difficult it is to get this news. Will be thinking of you and hoping you join us back here soon.
 
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