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12-19-2012 at 11:49 AM
MattieJ090...
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Joined on 12-19-2012
78 Points
MattieJ0905 is not online. Last active: 12-19-2012, 4:46 PMNewbie

Wanting another lil one already....

My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl that is almost 4 mo old. She is perfect and more than we could ever ask for. She is the first living child after we had a stillborn almost a year to the date before our daughter was born. With that being said, hubs is ready for another one. He is pushing 40 and wants to expand our family with one more child. I have very mixed feelings about it 1) I would love to have another lil angel on earth 2) I worry it may take away from my daughter 3) I would love to have my kiddos close so they grow up and share things together 4) I am terrified that we may lose another one. Any advice would be great!!
 
12-19-2012 at 11:57 AM
rnbeth477
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Joined on 05-05-2010
Orlando, FL
11,942 Points
rnbeth477 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 9:54 PMBronze

My DH and I just had our second (and last) child.  Our kids are 21 months apart, which I feel is perfect.  I was worried too that it would take away from my DS having a sibling, but I think it will only add to his world in a positive way.  Plus, he will never know what life is like without his sister.  He won't remember.

 Now that DD is here, it's so fun to see them together.  DD loves to watch her brother.  She gets the biggest smiles when she sees him.  It's so cute!!  DS1 loves to help with his sister.  He brings me her blankets and her pacifier whether I need them or not.  LOL.  DH and I never had siblings growing up, so we wanted our kids to have them.


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12-19-2012 at 12:00 PM
MattieJ090...
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Joined on 12-19-2012
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MattieJ0905 is not online. Last active: 12-19-2012, 4:46 PMNewbie
You don't think having them like 13-15 months apart is too close together?
 
12-19-2012 at 12:38 PM
ang345
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Joined on 03-02-2012
1,091 Points
ang345 is not online. Last active: 03-27-2013, 10:45 PMNewbie

I can understand wanting another one so soon. However, make sure that is what you want as well. Pregnancy back to back is hard. My first two are 21 months apart. This is getting pregnant around LO first birthday. I like this spacing, it's close but you can manage. After my first two I had my "surprise" baby 13 months later. This was hard. I felt guilty that I didn't get to be the best mom to my new baby because I was pregnant and my body just hurt. My two kiddos that are 13 months apart have a special bond but it has been hard and still is, they are 2 and 3 years old now. That being said my 2 year old is already potty-trained and I didn't have to do anything. He has to do what his sister is doing. Competition starts early, I guess.

 Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard if they were my only two, I don't know. I like that they are growing up together and I could use all of the baby stuff again. But it has been hard, physically and emotionally. 


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12-19-2012 at 12:59 PM
inateapot
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Joined on 08-27-2003
Seattle area
3,868 Points
inateapot is not online. Last active: 05-10-2013, 12:38 PMNewbie

I'm so sorry for your loss, first of all.

I had two miscarriages between my two children & would encourage you to try for them closer together rather than further apart, in case you face the same struggles. My daughter is 4 now & I wish so much she & her sister were closer together. :(  She is a great big sister, but I wonder how close they will be as they grow up....

 



BFP #1 - Madeline Rose, born 9/15/2008
BFP #2 - miscarriage at 12 weeks due to triploidy, D&C in Feb 2011
BFP #3 - ectopic pregnancy. methotrexate 9/2011
BFP #4 - Elizabeth Doreen, born 11/2/2012
 
12-19-2012 at 3:20 PM
MattieJ090...
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Joined on 12-19-2012
78 Points
MattieJ0905 is not online. Last active: 12-19-2012, 4:46 PMNewbie

Thank you for your responses. My husband is very supportive and says we can wait, but I know he is ready. My lil girl is a true angel (and I know everyone says that about their kiddos ;)). She is a very easy laid back baby. I may not be so lucky the next time around. But I like the idea of her and a sibling being close and growing up together, and using the baby stuff over is a plus for sure. I am leaning more towards not "trying"  but not "not trying". Then it will be in the Lord's hands and not ours. If we get pregnant then great and if not then it's not meant to be.

 
12-19-2012 at 6:11 PM
g8trkim
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Joined on 09-18-2007
Tampa, Florida
22,506 Points
g8trkim is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:14 PMGold
I can understand all your points. Whatever happens (whether you have another one now or later) you will make it work. I can see why he wants another one now because your DD is still small and she's not into things yet. I noticed that when DS was really small I was like "Oh maybe we'll just try right away and have them really close together." Once he started getting into things, we decided to wait a bit. But the time he was approaching two, he became more of a handful but we still tried for #2 because we didn't want them too far apart. Whatever the age difference, it will be perfect for you guys. If you want them close together, I say go for it. Your DD will gain so much from having a sibling so don't worry about what you think she will miss out on by not having you guys all to herself for long. Good luck with whatever you choose.

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