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12-19-2012 at 7:19 PM
alli2672
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feeling like kind of a heel: gift for babysitter/nanny

So, I had planned on giving our babysitter 1 weeks salary (a little more) for Christmas tomorrow.  However, today she brought over gifts for the kids, DH, and I.  She got DD a bunch of clothes, and the boys a little tykes basketball hoop and light up drawing thing.  She got DH and I a gift certificate to our favorite restaurant with a free night of babysitting. 

I feel kind of crappy now giving her a gift that required absolutely no thought on my part.

 
 
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12-19-2012 at 7:25 PM
buggal28
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I would love my employer to give me money as a gift.  But, I don't really have a relationship with them.
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.” ― A.A. Milne Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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12-19-2012 at 7:46 PM
honeybee11...
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Eh, our nanny needs the cash the most, so that's what we gave her.  DD(really me) did write a really nice card for her that made her cry, so that was my effort to make a check a little more personal.  Not to mention a week's salary is more than twice the amount we spend on anyone else's gift.  So, I don't feel bad.
 
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12-19-2012 at 8:18 PM
lexusolsen
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Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.
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12-19-2012 at 8:44 PM
honeybee11...
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lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

If we used a day care or in home provider, I would not give a week's salary.  I believe with a nanny, we are paying for the personalized service and convenience, and she is our employee, so it's like her holiday bonus.  Plus, she cares for my child, so it's totally worth it to us.  Now, if we couldn't afford a week's salary, we would give her a different amount.  We try to be generous with her, because she is generous with us in terms of scheduling, working extra hours if needed, babysitting on date nights, etc.
 
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12-19-2012 at 8:55 PM
MrsSDgirl
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lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

 

This is exactly what we're doing for our in home provider.  However, I'm adding a gift card for $50 to her favorite local resturant.  There is NO WAY we could afford a full weeks salary.  I'm also quite amazed that people do this all the time.
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12-19-2012 at 9:01 PM
lexusolsen
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MrsSDgirl:

lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

&nbsp;

This is exactly what we're doing for our in home provider. &nbsp;However, I'm adding a gift card for $50 to her favorite local resturant. &nbsp;There is NO WAY we could afford a full weeks salary. &nbsp;I'm also quite amazed that people do this all the time.



Whew!! I'm glad I'm not alone! We can afford to round the pay up to the nearest 50. We pay her for a full week even if she is off, so she gets an extra day or two from us when we don't have to pay her for that time. I figure it's built into my monthly budget and I can afford to do it then. But a whole extra week isn't feasible.
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12-19-2012 at 9:40 PM
ridesbutto...
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lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

yes.

when my kid/s were being cared for by a home provider, a week's salary is what I gifted them.

I now gift the daycare teachers $50 cash each. (which is $300)

tomato/tomato
promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am 
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12-20-2012 at 5:31 AM
wife07mom0...
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that is SO much but nice of you. Not required.  We gifted our nanny $200 and she was shocked and appreciative. I feel good with our decision. she is our employee and is fabulous with the kids.
My little girl is growing up! (born 12/09) Little brother is here! (born 5/2012) Thank you Lord for my precious family! 
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12-20-2012 at 7:12 AM
emberlee3
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We do a nanny share for DD.  Each family is giving her $100, plus she will get Dec. 24-26 off (paid).  She gets other paid days off randomly when our schedules allow, plus her planned holidays.  We can't afford a full week's salary as a gift, and she has been with us for less than 6 months.

OP, I am sure your nanny will appreciate the generosity of your gift.  That is very sweet of her to buy gifts for your family.

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12-20-2012 at 7:17 AM
alli2672
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I guess that I am feeling like I should have spend the money on something thoughtful rather than just giving her a check.  I'm not worried that it isn't enough money. 

 
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12-20-2012 at 7:25 AM
LoCarb
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alli2672:

I guess that I am feeling like I should have spend the money on something thoughtful rather than just giving her a check.  I'm not worried that it isn't enough money. 

Money is best with a nice heart felt card.

Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11  
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12-20-2012 at 7:35 AM
LibraryChi...
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I think cash is an excellent gift. I initially felt, like you, that it might be a bit impersonal but I was convinced otherwise by this board and my DH. We didn't give quite a week's salary, but we gave her a couple hundred dollars and she certainly seemed happy.
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12-20-2012 at 7:54 AM
rubber_chi...
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alli2672:

So, I had planned on giving our babysitter 1 weeks salary (a little more) for Christmas tomorrow.  However, today she brought over gifts for the kids, DH, and I.  She got DD a bunch of clothes, and the boys a little tykes basketball hoop and light up drawing thing.  She got DH and I a gift certificate to our favorite restaurant with a free night of babysitting. 

I feel kind of crappy now giving her a gift that required absolutely no thought on my part.

 

 

I know the feeling!  Tomorrow we were planning to bring in gift cards (with a nicely written card) for each of the teachers in her room, and then a box of donuts for all the teachers.   And then yesterday, when we picked the baby up, the teachers had a gift for her all wrapped up prettily!
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12-20-2012 at 8:14 AM
madladybri...
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Well, she can always use that money to buy a more thoughtful gift. Honestly, people do things differently, so I wouldn't worry about it. Plus, I think you gave a nice gift.
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12-20-2012 at 8:37 AM
nosoup4u
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alli2672:

I guess that I am feeling like I should have spend the money on something thoughtful rather than just giving her a check.  I'm not worried that it isn't enough money. 

Nah, cash is always a good gift!
DS1 - Feb 2008

DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!) 
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12-20-2012 at 9:00 AM
PhDMomma
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We're giving cash to our inhome provider.  Typically if DS doesn't go for any part of the week, we don't have to pay for that week.  So, he isn't going at all next week (we are traveling) and just paying her for it.  Also, we are letting her borrow our car for the week we are gone, she's been having some troubles with hers and needs to get some christmas shopping done.  Our cars aren't that nice, so it's not a big issue if it gets dented.
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12-20-2012 at 9:01 AM
TX-Bride
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If you feel you need to do something a little personal/more thought, everyone loves bath and body stuff, a small gift set would not set you back that much and put your check in an envelope and attach it to your gift.

I don't have a baby yet, but for my employees at work, each get a small gift basket around $10, and $25 GC to a restaurant.

 

 
 
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12-20-2012 at 9:08 AM
Netty_3
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Maybe you can put the check in a basket of other small things. I'm sure she'd appreciate the money though.
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12-20-2012 at 9:27 AM
hocus
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lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

I don't think it is the same for a nanny and an inhome provider. But yes people really do give a one week's salary for their nannies if they can. There is a wide range of what people give. Nannies are usually pretty aware of a families situation and they understand if families can't really swing an extra $500 or more as gift.

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12-20-2012 at 1:37 PM
lexusolsen
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hocus:

lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.


I don't think it is the same for a nanny and an inhome provider. But yes people really do give a one week's salary for their nannies if they can. There is a wide range of what people give. Nannies are usually pretty aware of a families situation and they understand if families can't really swing an extra $500 or more as gift.



I would love to give her more and we definitely appreciate everything she does for LO. I don't want to appear to her that we don't appreciate her but we just don't have the cash. Honestly, we pay her more a week than we spent on LOs Christmas gifts!
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12-20-2012 at 4:42 PM
DallasHorn
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lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

 I have heard that some nanny's expect a weeks and I've heard some that always give this. Personlly, to give that much is a ton and I don't believe anyone should ever expect a large monitary gift from their employer (even if it's your nanny). We have never given our nanny's a week's salary...until this year. However, 2 of the days are contractual paid holidays, so really we are giving her 3 paid days. However our current nanny is out of this world fantastic, so I feel more compelled to show my gratitude.
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12-20-2012 at 6:48 PM
rachboston...
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lexusolsen:
Do people really give a week's salary? I am blown away by this! There is no way we can afford that. I plan on giving her a full week's pay when I am contractually obligated to only give her half since I will be on vacation. Am I just being cheap? We use an inhome provider.

 

Yeah, we could never afford that either... but also, we could never afford to have a nanny, so thats why we use an in-home daycare.  (not that its "better" or "worse", just less money for us)  We gave our daycare provider a nice gift card.  She gets paid holidays and paid vacation, I think a gift card is fine.   
 
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12-20-2012 at 7:27 PM
jetgrrrl
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Yup, we do a nanny share and we and our neighbors have always given her a check for a week's salary - the after tax amount, not the pre-tax amount. We usually also give her a small gift "from the kids". This year it's really nice chocolate.
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12-21-2012 at 3:42 PM
Strunella
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We don't do a week's salary for our nanny...we just can't swing that.   And honestly, I don't get a bonus for Christmas, so I'm not sure why a week's salary for nannies has become the norm.  We are giving her a Visa gift card for a few hundred dollars and paid time off from 12/24 through 1/1.  
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