community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
12-19-2012 at 11:44 PM
karmon23
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-03-2011
1,122 Points
karmon23 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 5:38 AMNewbie

Alcohol.....

Just a question, did anyone's husband stop drinking, drink less, or drink more when they found out you were prego? I feel like I have no tolerance for my husband drinking. It jus infuriates me. I hate to say it but its some what because I can't and I kinda think its rude. Comments plz!!!!!
 
12-19-2012 at 11:51 PM
Azucenalgp
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-12-2012
1,485 Points
Azucenalgp is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 10:54 AMNewbie
My husband doesn't drink but about a few times a year. I would be upset if he did drink often especially while I was preg. Have you tried talking to him about it?
 
12-19-2012 at 11:53 PM
Ambsies
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-24-2009
Monterey Bay area, CA
48,854 Points
Ambsies is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 3:12 PMGold

Have you tried talking to him about it so he knows how you feel?

DH and I both aren't huge drinkers (maybe a beer or glass of wine on the weekends; a couple more if it's a social occasion), but I can't say that I was ever infuriated when he would drink while I was pregnant.  Maybe if we were at a bbq or something, I'd get a little jealous if he could enjoy a cold beer- but "infuriated"?  No.

12-19-2012 at 11:54 PM
California...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-04-2012
63,448 Points
CaliforniaDream87 is online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 12:12 AMSilver
Yes my husband drinks. No it doesn't bother me. Why would it?

PAL/PgAL Always Welcome. EDD is 08/14/2013. Missed Miscarriage EDD: 08/25/2012-"I loved your for a thousand years and I will love you for a thousand more" Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
12-20-2012 at 1:43 AM
kjfox10
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-18-2012
5,505 Points
kjfox10 is not online. Last active: 02-22-2013, 1:51 PMNewbie

We are pretty big drinkers. Since getting pregnant nothings really changed. I mean he doesn't get wasted, but he will still have his night cap lol. It doesn't bother me though. Just try talking to him...

EDIT: Okay, it has changed because I don't drink anymore lol!!!!

12-20-2012 at 2:57 AM
mikaelaand...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-20-2011
9,755 Points
mikaelaandmichael is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:58 PMBronze
Pre-pregnancy my husband would mainly only drink with me. If he had a few right now it wouldnt bother me but not every single night. How often does he drink?

JuneFlowers AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers 
12-20-2012 at 2:58 AM
Kimbus22
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-07-2012
132,011 Points
Kimbus22 is online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 12:11 AMGold
Ha!  Mine started drinking more when I was KU, in anticipation of not getting to drink much once the baby was born.  We went on vacation with another couple (wife was also pregnant) and after 3 days of the guys drunk and annoying, we hid their booze so we wouldn't club them over the head with it.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
12-20-2012 at 3:16 AM
tetesmama
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-03-2012
5,255 Points
tetesmama is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 4:37 PMBronze
To put things into perspective. I found out 4 years ago at 31 that I am allergic to wheat after years of suffering with stomach issues and now have to eat gluten free for the rest of my life. You have to sacrifice not drinking for a short time for an amazing miracle! I have to watch everyone eat all of the things I love but can't eat, my problem not theirs. With all do respect, get over it and cut DH some slack. You'll be able to drink again in no time. I understand we sacrifice a lot being the ones carrying the babies but we all knew that before hand!
 
12-20-2012 at 4:01 AM
PrimRoseMa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-13-2012
180,370 Points
PrimRoseMama is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:29 PMGold
My husband can't drink. He is allergic to alcohol.

Why would it bother you? The smell? Does he get ripped and act like an ass?

If he has a beer with dinner at home then why is that a problem. He's not pregnant...

Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
 
12-20-2012 at 5:00 AM
nthomas983
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-20-2008
ATLANTA
2,744 Points
nthomas983 is not online. Last active: 04-22-2013, 2:59 PMBronze
DH Is not a big drinker, but he will have a beer or something and it doesn't bother me. He' s gone out with his friends for a drink a couple times since my BFP. No, it doesn't bother me . His smoking bothers me, though.


Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
12-20-2012 at 5:41 AM
VASC
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-30-2012
9,997 Points
VASC is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 6:19 PMNewbie

My husband has had to tolerate a lot from me the past few weeks.  He's had to pick up my slack with chores around the house, listen to me whine and complain about nausea and fatigue, hear me retch over the toilet, and live with almost zero sex since I haven't been in the mood AT ALL.

I gladly welcome him to have any drink he wants and to enjoy it!!  If anything, it will help him cope with me, LOL. 


~Betsy in Virginia~ TEAM PINK! Photobucket  BabyFruit Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 6:38 AM
karmon23
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-03-2011
1,122 Points
karmon23 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 5:38 AMNewbie
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /
 
12-20-2012 at 6:49 AM
ekoenig4
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-12-2012
2,393 Points
ekoenig4 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 5:08 PMNewbie
I am always the DD. Just never cared to have more than one drink anyway. However this time he has been drinking less, it's not a concern for me yet.

 BabyFetus Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  IAmPregnant Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 7:04 AM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
44,455 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:27 PMSilver

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

If the smell on his breath bothers you, tell him to brush his teeth and use some listerine.  If he was getting sloshed on a regular basis, I could see that being a concern, but a couple of times?  Meh.  I think you are way overreacting by expecting him to stop drinking. And really, pregnant women don't have to sacrifice that much.  


Image and video hosting by TinyPic  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 7:08 AM
MelTwe
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-18-2009
Illinois
5,510 Points
MelTwe is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 5:40 AMNewbie

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

He is not the one carrying the baby, so its natural that your pregnancy isn't going to affect him the same way it does you.  It's unfair to hold him to the same standards and resent him if he can't/won't meet them.  If his breath is bothering you, have him brush his teeth.  If he's getting wasted all the time, have a conversation about it, that's probably not healthy, pregnant or not.

I think its fair to say that most of us go through periods where our husbands habits annoy us, especially with raging hormones.    There are many life adjustments coming your way, so communication is key.  Talk to him so he knows how you feel, so you both can manage your expectations.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 7:14 AM
JNL$LSM
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-09-2008
25,068 Points
JNL$LSM is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 5:12 PMBronze
It does not bother me, however, we (I) was more of a social drinker. I do not mind giving up alcohol for a few months to ensure my LO is safe. To be honest prior to knowing I was pregnant I stop drinking coffee the taste made me sick. I guess was LO saying hey I do not want that. lol

Nay 
12-20-2012 at 8:17 AM
PrimRoseMa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-13-2012
180,370 Points
PrimRoseMama is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:29 PMGold

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

Yeah, I think you are being immature about this.

Get him some listerine breath strips or altoids. Ask him to brush his teeth when he gets home.

Sorry but the sacrifice is just getting started when the strip turns pink. Its an adjustment for everyone, but tough tinsel. Suck it up! 


Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
 
12-20-2012 at 8:24 AM
1078
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-07-2005
Houston
4,509 Points
1078 is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 4:23 PMBronze
My husband and I are very social and go out to dinner or parties several times a week. We both drink. He is thrilled to have a designated driver for 10 months and I am happy to do it. 

K+R Married 11/19/05, BFP 8/29/12 EDD 5/3/13 Loss at 7 wks, BFP 12/6/12 EDD 8/16/13  
12-20-2012 at 8:29 AM
CPBP
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-06-2010
2,198 Points
CPBP is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 1:50 PMNewbie

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

 

Talk to him about the drinking and express how you feel.  At the end of the day, though, you are pregnant.  He is not.  You can't drink; he can.  You knew this when you got pregnant.

To be quite honest, this will be the first of many things where you feel like you are doing more/giving up more.  You will hurt in the upcoming months, you will get big, you will feel like your chest is going to fall off when (potentially) BF, you will have the night sweats.  Your husband will enjoy none of this vicious attacks on the body.  But YOU are MOM and the mother-child bond trumps all (at least in my opinion).

My husband is wonderful and does a whole lot, but it's not equal.  And if you ask people HONESTLY, they will tell you the same.  More stuff always falls on mom.  There will be wide varieties of this.  Some dads do nothing, some say everything is 50-50, but in my "22 months young" mothering experience, moms always do more.

My "sagely" advice is to learn to let it go because you will only be angry and bitter, especially in the first few months of the baby's life.  Men surely need to pull their weight, but be ready to let things go.

 
12-20-2012 at 9:08 AM
katiedid09...
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-06-2012
3,252 Points
katiedid0907 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 4:05 PMNewbie

My husband still makes himself a drink every evening. I guess I do miss having a beer after work but honestly, it's also nice to have a good reason just be healthier for the next 9 months. I'm not jealous, after all, I'm the one who gets to carry our little bambino :)

We do have a wedding to go to in late January with all of his friends. We'll see how annoyed I get then, haha!


 
12-20-2012 at 9:19 AM
kt012885
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-10-2010
12,240 Points
kt012885 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 3:04 PMBronze

I had a huge problem with this my first pregnancy.  It was last summer- we found out in April and lost the little one in June- but those months I swear my H was drinking more than normal.  We own a boat with 2 other couples and we'd go out every weekend and he'd just get freakin wasted and I was so annoyed- it caused a lot of fights and anxiety.  This time around- I dunno if it's bc it's winter time or I just don't care bc I'm sooo excited about this pregnancy and been through it once before- I don't really mind. 

 Esp with the holidays he's wanting to go out more and drink more than normal- so I just go and dance and have fun sober.  So advice- I know it sucks but just think about what you are giving up for the baby and how exciting it will be when he/she gets here.  Another thing my H said to me- is that once the baby is here- we won't be doing anything for quite a while- so for him- he wants these months to have some beers...which I guess if it was the other way around- I wouldn't want him to tell me not to drink.  Just try and compromise.  We've gone out just a few times since October but he'll have a few beers at home sometimes on the weekend- and these days I'm fine with it.  I'm sorry you are feeling this way but hopefully soon you'll get to the point where you don't care.  It does suck and isn't fair but I've learned that by bickering with him about it- just makes it worse.  (at least in my situation...the more laid back I am about it- the less desire he seems to have).


Created by Wedding Favors  BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
12-20-2012 at 9:27 AM
mabenner1
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-23-2008
67,000 Points
mabenner1 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 5:10 PMGold
How is it rude?  I think you're being immature about this. He's not carrying the baby, so yes, he can drink. The only "limits" I put on DH were that in my last few weeks, he couldn't drink more than a few in case I went into labor.

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 9:32 AM
shara3333
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-27-2008
15,496 Points
shara3333 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 7:25 PMBronze

CaliforniaDream87:
Yes my husband drinks. No it doesn't bother me. Why would it?

This.


BFP 11/5/12 EDD 7/19/13  BabyFruit Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 9:54 AM
Liz4444
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-19-2009
105,515 Points
Liz4444 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:41 PMGold

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

So ask him to brush his teeth... You think you are sacrificing a lot now, wait until the baby is born.  I was a glass or 2 of wine a night person pre-preg, it's not that big a deal.  Are you eating deli meat? Do you want to make him give up turkey sandwiches too?  Get over it, it's not sacrificing sooooo much.  And after the 1st tri, guess what, you can have a glass of wine here and there.

Frankly, I tell DH he has to drink for 2 because I can't.  He's excited for 9 months of me being designated driver. 


Daisypath Happy Birthday tickersCafeMom Tickers photo 307df189-2dc4-4bea-9b76-9ac6ceda8155_zps59ea37ee.jpg 
12-20-2012 at 10:24 AM
hqinmd
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-23-2012
8,477 Points
hqinmd is not online. Last active: 05-10-2013, 6:46 PMNewbie
Liz4444:
Frankly, I tell DH he has to drink for 2 because I can't.nbsp; He's excited for 9 months of me being designated driver.nbsp;

This. DH is DD a lot for me just because he has a much higher tolerance than I do. Now I get to return the favor. Though I'm jealous at times that he can have a drink, or an extra cup of coffee, or whatever, I am happy to return the favor when it comes to being DD.

OP, if your DH was getting drunk all the time then I would be on board with you. But I think that expecting him to give up whatever you have to give up is ridiculous. He is going to be putting up with your hormones, mood swings, and cravings for the next nine months, not to mention probably picking up some slack because you're worn out or uncomfortable or whatever. He'll probably need a beer. Let him have it.

 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 10:27 AM
stephweins...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-16-2009
2,882 Points
stephweinstein is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:03 PMNewbie

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

I'm sorry but this post really bothers me.  What exactly are you sacrificing?  It's just wine.  It's a little sad if you have to have a glass of wine per night to relax you.  Am I missing something?  Were you a frequent roller coaster rider? Do you have a crack habit you had to curb?  Are you a bungee jumper?  You're gaining a lot more than you're losing.


 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 10:55 AM
tokenhoser
Top 500 Contributor
Joined on 06-04-2010
53,787 Points
tokenhoser is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 10:42 PMPlatinum
DH still drinks the same. I like it, as it means I get a sip of beer when I feel like it. I'm a built in DD for 9 months; he might as well enjoy it.
12-20-2012 at 10:59 AM
megaboosmo...
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-11-2012
10,457 Points
megaboosmom is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 8:28 PMBronze
I get where you're coming from, although not about drinking necessarily. When I was pregnant with my last baby, had a 17 month old at home, was working full time and had HG, my husband took a two week vacation to California with his buddies. I was very pissed and resentful.
When I'm sick for 5 months, sore for another 4, then get my gut sliced open, am responsible for every single feeding and every night waking for months or years on end, it does piss me off that my husband gets to sail through the whole thing without any changes in his life. And no, he doesn't rush out in the middle of the night to get me pickles and ice cream like so many women here seem to think husbands do. He goes to work all day while I'm here puking and taking care of two toddlers, then he comes home, cracks open a beer, grabs the remote and sits on the couch while I continue to change diapers, give baths, make dinner, and puke some more. He's not going to gain weight and get stretch marks, have his hair fall out after the birth, have his boobs sag, his feet grow, his hips widen. His world remains virtually unchanged.
So yeah, I can see how some of us might feel resentment when we're the only ones who ever have to feel the impact of bringing our children into the world.

 
12-20-2012 at 11:10 AM
mabenner1
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-23-2008
67,000 Points
mabenner1 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 5:10 PMGold

megaboosmom:
I get where you're coming from, although not about drinking necessarily. When I was pregnant with my last baby, had a 17 month old at home, was working full time and had HG, my husband took a two week vacation to California with his buddies. I was very pissed and resentful. When I'm sick for 5 months, sore for another 4, then get my gut sliced open, am responsible for every single feeding and every night waking for months or years on end, it does piss me off that my husband gets to sail through the whole thing without any changes in his life. And no, he doesn't rush out in the middle of the night to get me pickles and ice cream like so many women here seem to think husbands do. He goes to work all day while I'm here puking and taking care of two toddlers, then he comes home, cracks open a beer, grabs the remote and sits on the couch while I continue to change diapers, give baths, make dinner, and puke some more. He's not going to gain weight and get stretch marks, have his hair fall out after the birth, have his boobs sag, his feet grow, his hips widen. His world remains virtually unchanged. So yeah, I can see how some of us might feel resentment when we're the only ones who ever have to feel the impact of bringing our children into the world.

Well, it sounds like you married an unhelpful, lazy douche. Most men aren't like that.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
12-20-2012 at 11:11 AM
MrandMrsFi...
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-07-2011
9,980 Points
MrandMrsFireFighter is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 4:56 PMBronze

karmon23:
It's the smell of his breath. The fact that he has gotten sloshed a couple of times since I've been preggo. I was a glass of wine a night before I got preg. Yes I did know that I would have to give up drinking when I got preg. But we have to sacrifice sooooo much to carry our children. I don't think it's too much to ask to slow down. I HAD to. This baby is half his. : /

Yes, you HAD to.  Because you're the woman, and you carry the baby.  Is that news to you?  You knew that would be what would happen, correct?  I think you're being ridiculously immature.  You're upset because he can drink and you can't.  I get it, trust me.  We have season tix to the Patriots and it friggen sucks that I can't stay all warm with beer when it's 20 degrees out, but instead of betching about it, I watch him enjoy himself and be happy that both of us aren't miserable with morning sickness and constipation and tears and cramps...because THAT would be awful.  One whiny spouse is enough.


Married 06/09/12

My Blog
BFP 11/12/12 EDD 07/27/12
 BabyFruit Ticker 
Page 1 of 2 (48 items)   1 2 Next >
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board