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12-20-2012 at 3:30 AM
brittersda...
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brittersdamod is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 1:22 AMNewbie

Wow Grandma....Intro (long)

Just wanted to introduce myself and what better way than to start off with a vent. A little background, I am a FTM, been married for two years together for seven, SAH right now, and have a little more to love.

I was 30 weeks pregnant when I went in for a routine check up and a head ache, and after taking my blood pressure and urine test I was taken to the ICU for a NST. Turned out I had developed pre-eclampsia and my blood pressure was 190/106 and I had gained 25 lbs in two weeks after only gaining 8 the rest of pregnancy. Immediately I was life flighted to the University of Utah and given an emergency c-section, my husband couldn't make it down in time to be there with me. My son was born Dec. 11, weighing 2lbs 2oz and was 14 1/14 inches. He was taken to the NICU before I could even meet him. And then I had to spend 24 hours in bed hooked up to magnesium before I could go see him, thankfully a nurse took me in my bed to see him before she took me to my room, but I was so doped up I barely remember it. They told me he will likely be in the NICU until February. H and I live an hour and a half away and will be staying down there as much as possible.

He is doing really well right now, he has been taken off the ventilator and is no longer on heart medication or antibiotics. He is eating 10 mls. every three hours and no longer undergoing phototherapy and has gained 3 oz. I may even get to hold him for the first time tomorrow.

Now for my vent, like I said I have a little more to love and while I love myself I do have my issues with it. Well my mom's mom has mentioned my weight to me several times. I usually let it slide off my back.

Well the night I got discharged from the hospital we went to her house with my parents to visit before we went to the hotel. I hadn't eaten dinner yet and had just pumped so I was hungry. So I said to DH "I think that Burger Bar sounds delicious." When I looked at my grandma she was giving me a dirty look. When I asked her what was wrong she looked at me and said, "Are you trying to kill yourself, you need to start losing some weight." I could not believe that. I told her "I'm sorry I just went through a traumatic experience and the last thing I want to talk about is my weight right now." and I walked out.

I just stood in from of her house and cried. Then DH came out a few minutes later and said she just lectured him about my weight too. I had done a really good job of not crying the whole time I was in the hospital and was trying to hold it together but that just broke the camel's back and I couldn't stop.

Never in my life did I think that my grandma would say something like that, it was totally inappropriate and rude and made me feel so horrible. Few times in my life have I ever FELT my dad's anger emanating from inside to outside the house. I don't know what he said to her but my mom said he is still fuming mad days later. My mom was on the porch talking on the phone and missed it all but she wasn't very happy when she found out.

Sorry that was so darn long and I hope to get to know you ladies. I am still not sure if I have totally processed everything that happened over the last week, but I know that I could use the support of other moms who have had similar experiences
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12-20-2012 at 6:45 AM
KatFCo
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KatFCo is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 7:41 PMBronze

First, welcome and congratulations on your little one. The next few months will be tough, but this is a great place to go for support and venting.

She absolutely should not have said that to you and I think you handled it well. It's also nice that your family backed you up. In the end, your lifestyle is no one's business but your own.

The next few months will be a roller coaster for you. I only live 15 minutes from our NICU, so I don't know what that's like. Is there any way you can have him transferred closer to you?

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12-20-2012 at 6:54 AM
BostonKiss...
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BostonKisses2 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 8:10 PMPlatinum

Welcome and congrats on the birth of your LO!

Your grandmother was out of line.  You don't say stuff like that to anyone period.  Try talking to her and tell her that you're upset by her hurtful comments, and you would appreciate it if she'd stop.  If she doesn't, you may want to consider distancing yourself for a little bit (not necessarily cut her out completely, but limit interactions for a short period) because you have bigger things to focus on right now with your son. 
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2 Bostons, 1 Preemie, & 65 Roses

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12-20-2012 at 7:09 AM
jcsntms06
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Joined on 11-18-2008
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Congratulations on the birth of your DS. Praying for a short and uneventful NICU stay.

Your grandmother really needs to shut her pie hole. Personally you have way to much on your plate to worry about what she or other people say about your weight. Try to ignore her and others. Remember stress is not good for you or your baby. I wish I could give you a hug. 

Please keep us posted on your LO. 

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12-20-2012 at 1:41 PM
CTbride79
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CTbride79 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:37 PMBronze

First of all, congrats on the birth of your son, and welcome!  

Your birth experience sounds similar to mine in many ways...my son was born at 32 weeks, weighed 2 lbs. 9 oz., 14.5" long, and I too developed sudden pre-e, which along with some other complications, led to an emergency c-section.  Also, my DH was unable to be there for the birth because he had the stomach flu (perfect timing, right?)  So I can definitely relate!  

As for your grandmother, she sounds extremely insensitive...don't listen to her, and instead, focus on yourself and your son.  That's all that matters right now.  Your little guy needs you and loves you unconditionally!  

*Hugs!* 
IMG_3478-2
Dx w/PCOS 3/2011 | BFP 7/25/11 | EDD 4/3/12
Dx w/IUGR 1/31/12 | C-section 2/7/12 @ 32 weeks
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12-20-2012 at 2:25 PM
deedyloves...
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deedylovescake is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 12:38 AMNewbie

Congrats on your sweet new baby~and I'm sorry you have to go through this! I was also induced for pre-e but at 35 weeks. It's definitely a scary experience and the mag drag is hecka suck :(

 It sounds like your son is doing really well, I hope you get to hold him very soon. <3

 As for your grandmother...well, what she said actually infuriates me. I cannot stand people who body shame others. Your weight and body are your business and no one elses. Your body is valid the way it is and you do not have to make excuses or deprive yourself of food so that she can feel better about her own insecurities. The next time you speak with her (whenever you're ready cuz I know I probably wouldn't speak to her for a long time!) I would let her know that your body is your own business and she has no right to disrespect you even under the guise of "being worried about your health" or whatever. The fact that she chose this particular time to try and shame you disgusts me beyond words. I'm glad you have other family members with you right now who can deal with her for you so you can focus on yourself and your sweet boy.

I'm not an expert at all but I know in my own experience that the process of actualizing my sons delivery did not happen right away. I think it really started hitting me about a week later, and I started to get really sad and really angry and I ugly cried every day at least once, often more. So you should definitely post whenever you need to vent or commiserate, I know it has made me feel better.

Good luck <3 <3 <3

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12-20-2012 at 7:01 PM
DrRx
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DrRx is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 11:26 PMSilver

First off, congratulations on the birth of your son and welcome!  The women here are very supportive and have a wealth of knowledge.

I'm sorry that your grandmother was so insensitive.  Try to not let it bother you and just focus on your son.  ((hugs))

TTC Since July 2008.
Me: PCOS DH: Low everything (MFI)
Clomid with TI x 3 2010 BFN
Clomid+IUI+Ovidrel 2010 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 2011
9/8 Beta #1: 2082!! 9/19 Beta#2 34,689!! U/S 9/22 HR 127! 11/8 HR 150! 12/6 HR 136! 12/14 HR 139! Born at 26w2d on 2/4/2012! After 83 days in the NICU, Adalyn came home on 4/26/12  
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