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12-20-2012 at 8:55 AM
justplanel...
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Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me stopping by for a question

Hi everyone!

I'm not pregnant but we are adopting & have partnered with a birth mom expecting in June. I hope you don't mind if I stop by and ask some questions, I know you ladies are probably the best experts!

First question, I am concerned about prenatal care. She saw the doctor at about 6 weeks along, but then moved & couldn't get an appointment until she will be 18 weeks. I want to make sure she & the baby are getting the best care we can & I am trying to advocate for her health. I will be there at the appointment. What questions should I write down for her to ask, is there anything that they will need to do differently since it has been a while since she has been seen? I just want to help prepare her the best we can.

Second question, I asked if her pants are getting snug & she said that they are now slipping down past the bump. I was going to get her some maternity pants, but I was a little confused... She wears a 10-12 regular pants, but what size does that equate to in maternity? Should I get her different sizes? Large looks about right, but I don't want to offend her if they are too big!

Any and All advice is welcome. Thank you & best of luck in your pregnancies! 
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12-20-2012 at 9:03 AM
evelyntayl...
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I don't have much advice. Congrats on your impending adoption. Since her move she has not had one check up for weight, urine, BP and HR? I guess as long as she has been healthy then everything should be okay. I do find that a little odd...

As far as pants go, I have no advice. I'm tall and thin so I'm usually a S/M in mat pant sizes. I'd take her shopping with you. 
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12-20-2012 at 9:04 AM
LibbyLouHo...
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Welcome and congratulations! 

I'm not the best person when it comes to what to ask the doctor since I've rarely asked anything myself. I get most of my info online. I would think there may be some bloodwork and things to catch up on if she hasn't been seen in that long, but I wouldn't think they would be doing much differently. My appointments during that timeframe consisted of a quick urine test, BP check, and listening to the heartbeat. She will miss the opportunity to do the NT scan as it has to be done prior to 18 weeks.

As far as maternity clothes, I was a 10-12 pre-pregnancy and wear mostly mediums and larges, depending on the brand. I find that I need to go down a little in most jeans since they add a lot of extra stretch to maternity denim, but I don't know if that is the case for everyone.
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12-20-2012 at 9:04 AM
MomlovesEl...
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Congrats on the adoption! You must be so excited!

For your first question, I would make sure you have an ultrasound scheduled to check anatomy. At 12 weeks, women often get an ultrasound to check for chromosomal defects. There is also usually a blood test (I did the blood, not the extra ultrasound). Other than that, they'll check her weight, blood pressure, and the baby's heartbeat. Unless you have specific concerns about what she's eating or her lifestyle, it's pretty routine.

As far as maternity clothes, I would probably get a large. I would also get a few bella bands that she can use with her regular pants while her bump is still small. I also use them with my maternity pants because they tend to fall a little. I would also get some camis if you can. All of my shirts are too short now and tank tops gets me more use out of my regular clothes.

 

Hope that helps! And again, congratulations :) 
 
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12-20-2012 at 9:08 AM
evertz
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Maternity clothes are sized so that the same size you were pre-pregnancy should be the same size you're wearing during pregnanacy. So she'll be a 10-12 in maternity clothes, or likely a M-L.

Not sure what to ask the Dr. I've just been reading the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and haven't really had a lot of questions for the doc. If it's a new doctor to her they'll likely draw blood, do a urine test, and check her and the baby's heartbeat. Ultrasound visit is at 20 weeks!

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12-20-2012 at 9:09 AM
jlpev
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If she's in her 2nd tri she should get a flu shot. Between 1820 weeks they will do an a/s scan. That's when he can find out the gender.
Just make sure she's still taking her prenatal vitamin. Between 618 weeks they don't do much. Just listen to the heartbeat and usually an ultrasound
and check her blood pressure.


I would say large would be correct.
She may ask when they will do the a/s and the 1 hour glucose test if she needs any blood work drawn since its a new Dr and hasn't been since 6 weeks.
That's all I can think of...
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12-20-2012 at 9:18 AM
justplanel...
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**Hurries up & scribbles down belly band, M-L pants, tank tops, flu shot, b/p, urine, ultrasound & other advice*** 

Thanks so much for your input! I know she has been taking the prenatal vitamins. (We had to try a few because she didn't like the gummies that almost everyone raves about!) 
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12-20-2012 at 9:30 AM
jstring88
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I agree with most of the other posts. Depending on how big she is getting size Large should be perfect for the pants, I am a 10-14 depending on brand and I have bought a large in all my pants, some are even a little big but that means room to grow. As for question, unless she is having any issues herself there really arent any question to ask. Maybe inquire about the flu shot, or if the Dr. thinks she is measuring on track. Congrats on your adoption. I was young when I got pregnant for the 1st time and on my own I decided to go with adoption. Its hard but Its a great thing because I know that I completed that family. Good luck with the new baby when he/she arrives. 
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12-20-2012 at 9:40 AM
JinglesChi...
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Have you thought about giving her a GC to Motherhood Maternity instead of actually buying the clothes? That way she can pick it out, and since they really only sell maternity clothes, you know she will use it for herself. Things can sometimes be hard to return at those shops.

The main thing that she missed, like others said, is the testing for some chromosomal abnormalities. Other than that, really it's more for questioning and education. They will at the next and every appt, take her urine for protein and sugar, her weight, bp, and check to make sure her uterus is growing.  If not at that appt, within the few weeks after they'll have the anatomy scan. While it shows the sex, it does a heck of a lot more, and takes 45 minutes (so they usually make it as a separate appt, though may be the same day).

I'm so happy for you, congrats on becoming parents after what I am sure was a rollar coaster ride for you guys. Remember too, to let your birth mom breathe. I'm sure you are excited and anxious and want to have some control since she is carrying your forever baby, but try not to be too anxious and controlling about it all.

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12-20-2012 at 9:41 AM
jmubride2
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Congrats and Welcome!  In my opinion you totally qualify to come and ask questions!  The other ladies answered everything, make sure she is taking prenatal vitamins.  Best of luck on everything!
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12-20-2012 at 9:42 AM
sunkissed7...
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How exciting for you and your family!!  It seems as though the ladies before me have armed you with lots of great advice.  I have a question for you, if I may...

Are you planning on inducing lactation so that you can breastfeed?  

 Smiles and baby dust to you! :)

 
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12-20-2012 at 9:58 AM
Killer Tom...
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PPs have already said everything I would have said (and more...I've been avoiding maternity pants like the plague and sticking with dresses!) I just wanted to take this opportunity to say hi! and YaY! that things seem to be going well. :)

I am still stalking you over on the adoption board, I have my fingers crossed that everything works out just swimmingly, and wish you lots of luck! I am so excited for you! :)  
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12-20-2012 at 10:41 AM
Kmape36
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Welcome...and very excited for you guys!  I'm a 10-12 pre pregnancy and purchase a large in maternity bottoms.  In addition to what everyone else said, they also may do a PAP or internal exam, depending in when her last one was.  I had one done at one of my early appointments, which was good because they discovered i had a bacteria infection that required medication.  Good luck...and keep us posted!!!

 
 
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12-20-2012 at 11:08 AM
quiggels21...
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Welcome and congrats! I think everyone covered the basics.  Here are some questions I have written in my phone for my 20 week appointment.  These are just things that have come up in my mind, may be early to ask some of them but just for ideas.

1. I am going to ask about any birthing/breast feeding classes offered at the hospital or that my doctor recommends so I can start looking into that. 

2. When should I start counting and tracking kicks and anything I should look out for?  For example I have read some things about keeping track and if you don't feel a certain number if movements in x time call your doctor, etc.  

3. Then I have some other personal questions about symptoms I have experienced, some wheezing off and on at night, and about my iron intake because I have had iron issues with it being too high, (even though I am vegan) for a while before pregnancy, so anything she has like that you may want to think of? 

I would probably buy her a giftcard to Motherhood maternity so she can try things on and find stuff she likes.  

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12-20-2012 at 11:25 AM
CBL23
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Congratulations!!!!!

As far as what to ask the doctor...hmm....not sure.  I am sure they are going to want to draw blood, maybe do a sonogram (depends on the dr). 

As far as pants go I am 5'7" and before I got pregnant I was 135 lbs and I have been wearing a small (I have been buying Motherhood pants).  Maybe a medium, but they may be able to suggest a size at the store.  When I first walked into the store I was clueless and the women who worked there saw I had no clue and just pulled me aside and said this is what size you are go try them on. 

 
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12-20-2012 at 12:52 PM
Lexy and C...
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If the birth mom hasn't had a high-risk pregnancy, all of this could be normal. I wasn't permitted to have my 1st OB appointment until 12 weeks, then I had them monthly after that.

So far, I've bought my pre-pregnancy size in maternity clothes. They build in the extra room for you!
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12-20-2012 at 12:55 PM
rpalen29
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i would just make sure that shes taking her vitamins, and if shes experiencing any pain, to go to the ER. I find check ups pretty pointless, all they do is a urine test, and then write your weight down. I would think an u/s would be more informative. 

as for the pant situation; i would either get her a belly band/ tummy sleeve so she can still wear her pants for a little bit longer. Old navy had maternity pants, in number sizes, so you can get a size 12 maternity pant, and i'm sure they'd fit fine.  
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12-20-2012 at 1:13 PM
notquitebl...
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I'm so happy for you, congrats!  Other than the NT scan and accompanying blood work they just check the proteins in my urine, my weight and blood pressure every 4 weeks.  I also had a pap and pelvic.  Nothing to really worry about at this point IMO.  I wear a size 12 or 14 jeans and bought size 14 Old Navy mat jeans and they fit great.  My regular jeans still fit too but when I'm sitting for too long they get umcomfortable.  Target dresses I would normally either order large or extra large and have found that even the maternity large is roomy on me.  Haven't dried the pants.

Also when is she due?  Come join us in June!
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12-20-2012 at 1:14 PM
yeliza h
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I think PPs have said everything that I would have, but I just wanted to say congrats!!!
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12-20-2012 at 1:46 PM
Truchana
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If it makes you feel any better, I moved at about 11 weeks pregnant and couldn't get into my doctor locally until I was about 15 weeks & I was high risk as I've had multiple miscarriages.  She missed the first set of testing to look for birth defects, but my husband and i decided we weren't doing them anyways.  You can still have one of the tests a little later, just can't remember which one.  They will most likely listen for the heart beat at this appt & then get her in the next couple of weeks for the 1 hr ultrasound where they look for everything. 

 

I agree & would recommend to get her a gift card to a maternity shop.  
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12-20-2012 at 2:22 PM
Luthy
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Congratulations on the pending adoption! That's wonderful!

I think PPs have pretty much covered it, but I wanted to say again that you should come join us on the June board!

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12-20-2012 at 4:12 PM
jbanasiak
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Congrats! As an adoptee, I am so excited to hear of an adoptive mother wanting to be involved for birth mom!

 

Most maternity pants give a size conversion. I have found Motherhood and Maternity run really true, as well as hold up well. Go for pants with a full belly band for her. She can fold it down now, but fold it up, and they will last clear through till the end, plus be nice for postpartum. Anywhere you shop though, you can talk to a sales clerk and ask! I'd also tell you to pick up a cute ruched side top for her if you are in the mood. They are comfy, continue to fit, and help us preggies feel a little stylish with carrying!

 

This early on, appointments are infrequent anyway. I didn't see my Midwife till I was almost 12 weeks. Talk to the birth mom and see if she had a pregnancy panel run, and also remind her (and offer help if needed) that her records from her previous appointment should be sent to the new office. As for any other screening...

 

Each office has their own standards, and each woman has her own comfort level. I'd ask you to discuss with the birth mother PRIOR to the appointment HER willingness/desire for any tests that are optional or additional. She obviously wants what's best for the child she is carrying (she chose to make the hard choice and place afterall!!), so I'm sure she's going to have some idea as to what she is/isn't okay with and does/doesn't find necessary for testing.

 

Some women have virtually none done. My husband and I personally refused anything that wasn't necessary to determine mine or baby's risk during pregnancy. Some women want to know, although there is no knowing for certain until baby is born, if there is some abnormality, and will run every test in the book to make sure. Some women are at high risk for certain things and choose to be tested for them. Some women are just considered low risk and hence opt out. Talk to her first, and then the two of you can talk to the doc together.

 

Good luck with everything! You have made an amazing decision to adopt, and your birth mother a wonderful and self less decision to place!

 
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12-20-2012 at 5:58 PM
sntotolo
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Congrats on the impending adoption, that is wonderful!! You should also join the June 2012 board to chat about all the fun things going on with those ladies on a weekly/daily/monthly basis! Monthly boards are fun to follow and participate in and we in the April board have a few mommies in there that have a spouse pregnant, surrogate, adoption etc. It's a little family over there, and I'm sure they would welcome you with open arms! 

I never got a flu shot, so don't go in thinking it is NECESSARY. It is an option, but not a necessity, and each woman/family should decide whether it is right for them. You should get a pretty extensive u/s though, since the NT scan is usually around the 12-13 week mark, and anatomy scan around the 18 week mark. They will measure the chambers of the heart, the bones, brain, fluid behind the neck... etc. You will just love to see that little nugget squirming around in there :)

Old Navy has AMAZING maternity clothes, and I have found that they fit me much better than any other maternity store. The returns are easy peasy too. All in all though, the clothes run the same size as you wore pre-pregnancy, just like the other ladies said.  

Good luck at the appointment! Congrats again on your little munchkin! 
 
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12-20-2012 at 7:15 PM
JenBee74
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Just wanted to say Congrats on impending Mommyhood!! Welcome to the club! :)
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12-20-2012 at 7:29 PM
iggles09
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Just wanted to say congrats! Please feel free to come on over to the June 2013 birth month group whenever as well. It's nice to have a group of ladies close in due dates.

As for questions, I agree with PPs about genetic testing. They can still run lab work for some of it at 18 weeks. I would also ask about labor and delivery to get the birth mom thinking about things. Talk about what to expect/plan for with steady weight gain and diet in general.

If you are not already I recommend reading the mayo clinic pregnancy book so you can follow along with all her changes and possible experiences. Congrats and GL!
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12-20-2012 at 9:24 PM
justplanel...
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Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the warm welcome & seeing some of my favorite familiar faces :)

I talked to her about her doctor's appointment & she was grateful for the information. We both have the "what to expect" books & text often back & forth throughout the week. 

Since I had the day off & was going to be nearby, I called her & she was free for the day, so we met up & I took her shopping! We bought 3 pair of full panel Large size maternity pants (2 jeans, one black dress pant) from Ross & she wanted to go to GoodWill to get a bunch of shirts & even found a pair of maternity shorts (we live in the south & it is warm by May). Afterwards, we went to Target & got a Be b band, then went to lunch. We stopped at the grocery store before going back to her apartment. We really had a great afternoon together. Thanks so much for all your help & well wishes!
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12-22-2012 at 11:42 PM
bamakarame...
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The best thing to do for now is make sure you take a prenatal vitamin with DHA everyday until she sees the doctor.  I had to wait until 15 weeks and 4 days when I changed doctors.  I always go blank when my doctor ask if I have any questions.  You can google what questions to ask at a prenatal visit and there are a lot of websites that have good and valid questions that we forget to ask.  When I bought my first maternity pant I ordered them from old navy online.  I ordered my pre-pregnancy size and they fit great with room left to fill.  I got a full panel which will take her through most of her pregnancy.  Where I live, the nearest old navy with maternity clothes is about 35-40 minutes away so I just ordered them online. I ordered jeggings because they are denim, but are stretchy. And the panel in front covers my full belly so I dont have to worry about my pants riding below my belly because I hate that feeling. Congratulations on your adoption.  I have a six year old little sister that my mother and step father adopted when she was six months.  We are so close even though I'm 31 (I had a teenage mom).  People even say that me and her look alike all the time.  So they say get as much rest as you can because when the baby gets here it will be a long time before you can.
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12-23-2012 at 12:18 AM
emolm
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Definitely join us on the June board if you feel comfortable with that!

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