I completely understand. Big hugs to you!
I have also been TTC for almost 2 years. I go in for beta tomorrow. This is a ROUGH road. We've had great hopeful days and sad sh*tty crying days of depression. YOU can make it through this! Just take it one step at a time and worry about the what-if's as they come. Otherwise, you'll go NUTS!
and I hear you about hearing everyone's news....it seems like at least 20 people I know have announced they're expecting while I've been on my IF journey. Be happy for them, and know that one day it will happen for you.