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All Boards > Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

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12-20-2012 at 10:23 AM
Brendastar...
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Brendastar719 is not online. Last active: 02-25-2013, 12:31 PMNewbie

A letter to my baby girl

My sweet Anastasia Lee,
The moment we found out about you we were so excited!
I want you to know that even though we will never get to meet you, having you inside of me was the happiest we've ever been. I saw and felt you growing in my tummy getting bigger every day. It was the most amazing feeling and the best thing I've ever experienced in my life! (even with all of the morning sickness.. and that morning sickness got bad especially when mommy ate pizza...You, my child, did not like that and you let me know it!)
I would close my eyes and picture you in my arms. Daddy and I would talk of all the things we would do and how much we would enjoy our little banana. That was our nickname for you, Ana banana. We were going to be a happy “bunch of bananas".
We wondered what your personality would have been like (I’m sure with us as parents your personality would have been HUGE), if you’d have my eyes and daddy’s lips and if you were anything like us, how much trouble we’d have once you hit your teens. That gave us a good chuckle and scared your daddy!
I wondered what it would be like to hold you in my arms, to sing to you and sooth you when you were not feeling well…
I remember seeing your little heart beating on that screen and although I was in love with you already I think that was the moment our bond became solid my little one. You and I were one for a short time. I had you there tucked away right under my heart.
I never knew I wouldn't get the chance to hold your hand or see your precious face. I wouldn't get to see your daddy cuddle you in his arms and I wouldn't get to comfort you when you needed it...
We had to say goodbye before we could say hello.
Now you've gone to the only other place as beautiful and safe as inside of me. You are with the only one that would love you as we did.
Although that provides some comfort, losing you is a pain i will never get over.
Your grandma says you’re our little angel watching over us now and one day when the timing is right daddy and I will have another precious baby... I believe in my heart that is true.
You will have sisters and brothers to watch over my angel, but know that you will always be my first babygirl and you were loved from the moment we saw those two lines.
Love always
Mommy
 
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12-20-2012 at 10:33 AM
Avion22
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Avion22 is not online. Last active: 06-08-2013, 7:17 AMBronze
That made me cry.   You've put into words what I've been feeling for the last few weeks.  Thank you for sharing something so beautiful.
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12-20-2012 at 11:19 AM
marylauren...
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marylaurena is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 4:34 PMBronze
This is just so beautiful and precious.  Made me cry at work but a good cry.  I need to write one of these.  thank you for sharing.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

4/1/13 BFP- 5/6/13 MMC (8 weeks)

All ALers welcome. 
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12-20-2012 at 11:48 AM
ellajune20...
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ellajune2012 is not online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 4:22 AMBronze
so sweet and heartbreaking. :(
~*TTCAL June Siggy Challenge: Fave Summer Drink: mojito *~



BFP with #1 11/18/2011 with twins; missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 11/13/2012 with twins-again; missed m/c at 7weeks

Balaustine: An anthology about wanting family http://balaustineanthology.com  
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12-20-2012 at 12:54 PM
secerka
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secerka is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 7:38 AMNewbie
Just beautiful!!! Brought teats to my eyes :(!!! So sorry for your loss and I hope you will soon be pregnant again!! HUGGS
 
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12-20-2012 at 2:27 PM
megbpoff
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megbpoff is not online. Last active: 06-03-2013, 4:20 PMNewbie
Beautiful letter.  I hope that you have all the peace that one could muster during this difficult time.  I can see so vividly that you loved your baby beyond the words you expressed.  Prayers sent your way. 
 
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12-20-2012 at 3:44 PM
Brendastar...
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Brendastar719 is not online. Last active: 02-25-2013, 12:31 PMNewbie

thank you for the support and the prayers.  this was my way of trying to heal.  Ive been feeling so lost and alone (even with all of the support im getting from my soon to be hubby and M-I-L) it does help to know that i am not alone. 

 
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12-20-2012 at 8:01 PM
alysonjill
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alysonjill is online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 6:41 AMBronze
Beautifully written. Thats a wonderful way to express yourself! Many hugs to you.
10/24/2012: BFP#1 EDD 7/3/13, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E procedure DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13, TTA until Fall 2013
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My Blog **All AL Welcome** 
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12-20-2012 at 11:58 PM
sonrisa
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Joined on 07-31-2003
across the street from June Cleaver
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sonrisa is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 11:54 PMGold
That is lovely.
 
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