Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: My Baby Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

< Previous topic | Next topic >

All Boards > Infertility

Sort:
12-20-2012 at 11:40 AM
PokerChic8...
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-14-2012
88 Posts
2,021 Points
PokerChic85 is not online. Last active: 01-08-2013, 5:06 PMNewbie

Tell it to me straight..Am I being a B*tch?

 Kind of a spin off of some other posts..

So, DH's mothers side has an xmas party coming up in a few days.. I don't want to go. I'm mid IVF cycle (it's a 'secret'), and I really don't feel like putting up with them. DH says "We never see them". I feel like responding "Well, they live close, and there's a reason we don't!"... They're jerks, and even DH says so.. So do I sit home and have him go alone, or do I suck it up? These people are extremely mean, like "we will ruin your wedding (that was a few years ago)" mean...

DH's work has a party coming up too..as I posted today, two girls are preggo - unexpected and the pregs weren't wanted.. UGH .

Everyone already always asks "when are you having kids", and I rarely drink much as it is, so everyone always jokes/assumes "Oh, so you're pregnant!"

 

WWYD? Ugh. 

 
TTC since early 2011 “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 11:46 AM
megs3084
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-26-2008
Chicago
2,104 Posts
28,912 Points
megs3084 is not online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 5:24 AMSilver
I dont think you're being a b*tch.  I understand not wanting to be around situations like that. 

"Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
"She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time." The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Me:29 DH:29 TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR/immune issues
Feb'12- Clomid/TI with CD3 &21 labs(normal)& SA-count 6mil/ml,morph/motil OK-BFN
April'12 Ultrasounds,HSG -clear, slight acurate uterus
5/14 IUI #1-50 mg clomid-post wash total motile count 19.3 prometrium 2dpiui= BFN
6/11-IUI #2-100 mg clomid & prometrium post wash count total motile 17.5 = BFN
7/6 IUI#3 with 100 mg clomid, estridiol, prometrium. post wash total motile count 23.3 = BFN
8/30IVF#1 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur,Ganerelix,Novarel.
ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F.
ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
IVF#2 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur, Ganerelix, Novarel, Baby Aspirin
ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
2/13- Saline sono revealed a polyp. All additional labwork coming back normal. Genetic screen revealed DH has MTHFR deficiency & I am a carrier for it.
3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy
3/27 Began working with Reproductive Immunologist Dr. Kwak-Kim. Found High NK cells, High DHEAs, slight hypothyroidism, tendency toward blood clots (High PAI-1)Began synthroid & metformin 4/19.
Cycling in July

Here Comes the Sun Blog
PAIF/SAIF welcome! 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 11:48 AM
liz4paws
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-05-2011
2,882 Posts
42,184 Points
liz4paws is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:56 PMSilver
I agree, you're not being a b*tch. If you don't feel like going, then don't go and take care of yourself. Theres something to be said for being stress-free during an IVF cycle and if it's going to cause you stress, avoid it all. Your cycle is more important than that nonsense and the upset that it brings. GL with whatever you decide.
Me (31) DH (35) - Finding our path to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries seem to be just for decoration

12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.

2/16/13 - First BFP of my life!
3/27/13 - No heartbeat at 9w0d. D&C the following day.

4/23/13 - Matched to adopt five new embryos!

My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 11:50 AM
JewelsW198...
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-27-2008
Central Virginia
1,322 Posts
20,503 Points
JewelsW1980 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 3:52 PMBronze
Nope.  I don't think you are at all.  It's called self-preservation!
* Me- 32 * DH- 32 * TTC for 4 Years
* *IUIs 1-6 BFN*
*IVF #1= BFP- M/C *FET- * *Beta#1: 69 *Beta#2:482 *Beta#3 1088
*Beta#4 28,318 * Ultrasound- 1 beautiful heartbeat
IT'S A BOY!!! MAX LIAM
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 11:50 AM
ctnl81
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-25-2012
169 Posts
3,296 Points
ctnl81 is not online. Last active: 06-01-2013, 11:13 AMNewbie

I 100% understand where you're coming from, and sometimes you just don't want to deal with people!  And I think that's okay.

 

Can you guys make a deal that you'll leave early?  And decide beforehand what time 'early' means.  Like, the party starts at 7, we'll get there at 7 and leave by 8:30, or whatever.  Say you have another party or you're not feeling well or something like that?  Otherwise, I think it's fine to not go at all.

 


married 7/21/07; ttc since 2/2011
me 31, minor endo; him 32, minor MFI
laparoscopy 5/12; uterine septum corrected
failed IUIs 6/12, 8/12, 9/12
IVF #1 - started stimming 11/24, ER on 12/4, ET on 12/9, beta at 11dp5dt - 417! BFFP!



 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 11:58 AM
Scoop77
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-10-2011
1,032 Posts
10,380 Points
Scoop77 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 3:10 PMBronze

It's totally fine to want to avoid stressful people during an already stressful time. Ask the DH if he's OK saying that you weren't feeling up to going (which is kind of the truth).

Sorry you're having such a rough time.


TTC #1 for about 3.5 years
ME: 37, PCO, immune issues?, teflon uterus (my added diagnosis)
HIM: 38, Perfect. (Showoff.)
Month before starting Clomid, spontaneous pregnancy. m/c at 7 weeks and D&C.
Four months of Clomid, one IUI, with Intralipid each cycle: BFNs all
IVF 1.0 July 2012 -- Lupron, bravelle, menopur, estrogen, progesterone supps, intralipid. 14 ER, 14 fertilized, 1 blast transferred, 2 on ice. BFN
FET 1.1 -- 10/2, transferred our 2 blasts. Lupron, PIO, estrogen, baby aspirin, prednisone. BFN.
IVF 2.0 December 2012 -- Bravelle, Menopur, Ganirelix, Prednisone, Metformin, estrogen, progesterone supps. 22 eggs retrieved on 12/14, 17 mature, 15 fertilized. OHSS anticipated so ET cancelled. 3 embryos frozen.
Broke up with old RE. Moving on to new dude. Maybe the change of scenery will be just the trick for our frosties. On BCPs for possible April FET.

P/SAIF welcome 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 1:13 PM
J&D2007
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-22-2007
1,075 Posts
12,331 Points
J&D2007 is not online. Last active: 06-14-2013, 2:12 PMBronze
I don't think you are being a b*tch, but I personally would suck it up and go. Dealing with stressful people sucks, but it's the holidays and I bet your DH would love you to go with him. Keep an open mind, it's never as bad as you expect (usually!). As for those pg people or those who keep asking, I think we all just have to find our own way to deal with it and not let it get to us. You can always leave early if its not going well..

Me: 35, DH: 36, ttc: 3+ years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid med & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s,
1/12: D&C,
6/12 IUI #1: clomid, 5 mature follicles, excellent sperm,= BFN,
7/12: IUI #2: clomid, 3 mature follicles, excellent sperm= BFN,
8/12: IUi #3: clomid, 5 follicles, = BFP!, C/P
10/12 IVF #1: FSH 5.4, estradiol AFC: 14, long Lupron 150/bravelle75,5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast and 1 8 cell transferred. No frosties. BFN
IVF #2: AFC 21, MD lupron 12/25, 225bravelle/150men, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast BFN
IVF #3: natural start antagon, starting 3/30, ER 4/11, 12R,11M,10F
.
[IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg174/pixydust3084/April_V2.jpg%5B/IMG] 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 1:36 PM
jadwedd
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-29-2003
1,540 Posts
21,459 Points
jadwedd is not online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 4:50 AMBronze
I do not think that you are being a b*tch but I would suck it up and go for dh's sake.  Like I used to leave his family's parties in tears and he was not allowed to leave me alone with his mother but I still went because I know that they are meaner to him when I am not around.  And I would go to the work party for him too.  I agree with pp set a time to leave and stick to it.  Usuallty when I think a party is going to suck it winds up being fun.
Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 1:55 PM
Crystal120...
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-24-2011
1,805 Posts
29,005 Points
Crystal120410 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 8:10 PMBronze
Yep I totally know how you feel. No your not being a *** but sometimes no matter how bad you dont want to you just have to suck it up. I have the same situations my some of DH family members. I agree sont stay the whole time but at least show your face and with a big smile on it. It's just like that old saying, " He may be a *** but he's my ***". They may be a awful family but there still his family. When they ask if your having kids yet, tell them nope your still practicing. Wanna make sure you get it right lol. And being around pregnant people, I feel ya on that one also. I have a employee that has a 2 yo, 3 mo, and just found out shes 6 week prego. On welfare, CHIP, 2 baby daddies, the whole 9 yards. I have to fight my mouth and emotions every day I see her but at the end of the day, thats their life and there choices. It doesnt make it any easier but just a different way to look at it. Good luck.
Married 9-10-11
Together 6 years before marriage
Me 26 DH 28
TTC since 9/2011
Dx endo 2007 Sx laparoscopy
End bcp 9/2011
Dx annovulatory, DOR, Low AMH
Hysteroscopy due to polyp 2-1-12
IUI#1-3 Cancelled due to low response
IUI#4 BFFN
IVF#1 8/30 Beta#1 256, 8/31 Beta#2 482 BFP!! M/C 5w3d
FET#1 Cancelled due to uterine fluid and thin lining
FET#1.2Cancelled due to abnormal bleeding
Hysteroscopy 12/28/12 All clear
FET#1.3 2/2013 Cancelled
FET #1.4 3/19 BFFN
Semi natural cycle 5/13 BFN
IVF&FET June 2013
Good Luck to All!!
Crystal
Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 4:33 PM
Gr8te
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-18-2012
568 Posts
10,856 Points
Gr8te is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 4:32 PMBronze
I hate to say this, but you should probably go. Also, when people ask me when we're going to have kids...I lie and say when I decide to stop taking birth control. I I can't deal with people knowing that we've been trying and failing, so I find it's easier to tell a little fib.
~ Everyone Welcome ~
TTC: 05/2011 Me: 32, All Clear DH: 38 Dx: MFI Low Testosterone & 1% Morphology
IVF #1 w/ICSI & IMSI, 12/03/12: ER: 27R, 20M, 15F
4 blasts frozen (3BA 4BA 4BB 5BB) b/c of moderate OHSS
FET #1: 02/08/13 Transferred 3BA & 4BA | HPT 5dp5dt BFP!
10dp5dt Beta #1 - 810 | 12dp5dt Beta #2 - 1843
BabyFetus Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 7:18 PM
kflynn81
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-28-2009
Oak Lawn
1,888 Posts
26,296 Points
kflynn81 is online. Last active: 06-20-2013, 5:53 AMBronze
No, I wouldn't want to put myself in situations like that either. But apparently....I've been reassured by both a Resolve group AND my IF counselor that its ok to not go to parties or to leave during them if you're uncomfortable. If they say its so, it must be!! You have to keep yourself mentally healthy in this stressful time too!!
Anniversary
Me(31): Some sort of endocrine malfunction that even the major Chicago hospitals can't diagnose. Yay me!!
I also have Factor V Leiden...yay me again!
DH (31): Borderline low morph, but not considered a problem
"Baby dancing" with no protection or BCP since July 2009
IF testing started March 2011
Endocrinology related tests from October 2011-February 2012
March 2012--Clomid --No response-Straight to injects!
April & May 2012-- IUI#1 & #2 = BFN
July 2012- IVF#1 cancelled
September 2012-IVF#1.2--BFN
November 2012- IVF #2 --BFN
January 2013- IVF #3-- BFFN
February 2013--June 2013 Back to the Endocrinologist for more diagnostic testing
IVF #4 --June 2013
PAIF/SAIF encouraged...give me some hope!!
For detailed cycle info. see right side of blog... Kate's IF Blog
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-20-2012 at 7:22 PM
PokerChic8...
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-14-2012
88 Posts
2,021 Points
PokerChic85 is not online. Last active: 01-08-2013, 5:06 PMNewbie
Well, I'm glad everyone agrees that I'm not a jerk for feeling this way! I'm almost 99% sure I'll go just for the sake of my DH... We've decided to leave before 10:00pm (usually goes until midnight). If anything "exciting" happens, I'll be sure to post! (This isn't until Sat..)
TTC since early 2011 “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board