I'm so sorry - I just saw this post!! I will try to figure out how to send you a PM too.
I agree with you...it is so, so hard to listen to your baby cry. We went in after 10 min to *try* to calm him by talking to him and rubbing his belly. We started unswaddling him at this point too so that he could self-soothe with his hands. We shushed very loudly in his ear. He calmed for a little bit, but started crying as soon as we left the room again. He cried for 5 min more and fell asleep. I agree with PP about him wearing himself out. I almost caved and told my DH that I couldn't do it, but then LO fell alseep. I even said to my DH he only fell asleep because he wore himself out. But to my surprise, he didn't wake up crying for his paci until a week later and then he only wimpered/cried for 5 min and we didn't have to go in and soothe him at all.
You just need to be consistent with your method. Once you start doing this in the MOTN you shouldn't just all of a suddent start giving back the paci. And this method may not work for you and your LO. I wouldn't try it without my DH there for moral support. Other people may not agree with this method, but it was what our pediatrician recommended and it worked for us.