I have a displacement theory of stress.
It goes like this: we all have a certain level of stress we gravitate towards, even if we claim not to like it. And we will take on and hand off tasks in order to stay roughly in that stress level.
I fully believe that if I was a SAHM, I would be just as stressed as I am now. I would be stressed about whatever 12 volunteer things I'd signed up for at the kids' school. I'd be stressed about finishing photo books for my mom and MIL for Christmas. I'd be stressed about baking my grandma's favorite cookies and getting the kids to her nursing home to drop them off in matching holiday outfits. I'd be stressed about getting the outfits cleaned and ironed again before Christmas Eve. I'd be stressed about dropping off meals for friends with new babies and helping neighbors whose kids were sick and picking out the right cards to give to our mail lady and trash collectors. The list goes on.
Because I'm "too busy" a lot of those things fall through the cracks for me. Our tree has no ornaments yet. The kids' teachers got gifts but no thank you notes. But if I could, I would be putting more care into all of those things, and I would still feel like my plate was over-ful.
So I guess I'm saying give the SAHM's some slack. They probably *are* feeling just as stressed as you are. Granted, some of the stress is of their own making, but our stress is of our own making too, you know?