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12-22-2012 at 12:35 PM
irishgirl0...
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Update

I know several of you have seen my update on PG>35,  but I just wanted to update over here, and also say thank you for all of the support and thoughts and prayers.

Unfortunately we did not see a heartbeat at our last ultrasound on Wednesday, and the baby had not grown since the week before. I was anxious about this week's ultrasound because even though we had seen the fetal pole the week before, it seemed to be measuring small.  I really wish I hadn't been right.

I had a D&C yesterday morning.  I haven't really cried much yet, a little bit here and there, but I am hoping that it will hit me soon and I can get it all out, and begin to move forward.  I can't really put into words how I feel, there are a lot of things circling around in my head.

We are supposed to go to my aunt's house tonight for a Christmas party with extended family. If we had seen a heartbeat this week, we would have announced to the family tonight. Now I am thinking I really don't feel up to going, I don't want it to be a situation where I walk in and then feel like I need to turn around and walk out. 

I don't know where we are or what our next steps will be, but I hope to be joining you back here in the next couple of months. I'm still lurking and I wish you all the very best of luck and a great holiday.
TTC since 3/2010. I'm 40, my husband is 47. He had a vasectomy reversal in January of 2010. We tried on our own for almost a year, then went to an RE. 6 IUIs and several cancelled IVF's and another RE later we are pregnant. 11/2012-new RE, new protocol...IVF cycle #6. 8 follicles but only 4 retrieved and 3 fertilized. 2 6-cell and 1 7-cell C grade fragmented embryos transferred on 11/12-BFP! Beta#1-55, Beta #2-153, Beta #3-593 Beta #4-2402 12/5-First u/s shows 2! One looks good, the 2nd one has no yolk sac visible so fingers crossed! 12/12-2nd sac still empty but fetal pole visible in the other sac. 12/19-No heartbeat and no growth since last week. Miscarriage. Final IVF attempt February 2013. Transferred 2 4-cell embryos, one B grade one D grade. 3/7/13-BFP! Beta #1-97, 3/11 Beta #2-1171 3/14 Beta #3-5095 Beta#4-15,580.  
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12-22-2012 at 1:01 PM
SuburbsMrs
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Thoughts and prayers... how heartbreaking.

Take care and be good to yourself. 
 
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12-22-2012 at 1:03 PM
HeathernSt...
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(((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry for this, I have no words to say, other than I am truly sorry and am sending you strength to get through this tough time, made tougher for the holidays.....T&P are with you.
My Ovulation Chart Me: 40 DH: 45. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11, 3 cycles clomid with Ob, 1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob, Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12 clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN 1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN. 2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid. 3/29/13 laparoscopy - lft ovary attached to uterine wall & imobile fallopian tube fixed & on bcp. Hoping this ends our streak of bfn's! Started bravelle 5/2/13..... 
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12-22-2012 at 1:10 PM
QOTR
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Big hugs Irishgirl.  I think you should skip the party if you're not up for it.  Taking care of yourself is the priority now.
Me-40, Hubby-39. 1st BFP-8/17/12! Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US. D&C. 2nd BFP-2/13/13! Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage. Engaged RE assistance 4/2013. AMH=1.5; FSH=8; Estridol=25. Mosaic X chromosome and MTHFR C677T & A12986 heterozygous issues identified. HSG results = clear.  
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12-22-2012 at 1:20 PM
Mrs.McIris...
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Continued hugs my friend. I know it sounds strange but I hope the tears find you soon but definitely not at the party tonight. 

TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
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12-22-2012 at 1:41 PM
brooklynes...
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I said it on PG>35 as well but wanted to say again how sorry I am, and that I feel for you how much it sucks that you have to go through this over the holidays, or ever for that matter.  We're here for you when you come back again.
Me: 39. DH: 41. TTC since 2009.
FSH: 9.5 at highest. AMH (11/2011): 0.9. AFC: 10ish. HSG: Normal. SA: Normal.
July 2011 - Feb. 2012: 2 Clomid/TI cycles; 3 injectables/IUI cycles. Good response but BFNs.
Dec. 2011: Laparoscopy (clear) + hysteroscopy to remove uterine polyp.

April 2012: IVF #1: FSH 9.2, AFC 7-8. Antagonist protocol.
Started stims (300iu Gonal-F, 150iu Menopur) 3/28.
Added ganirelix 4/1. Trigger 4/5 (7 follies). ER 4/7: 7R, 0M, 0F. :-(

Nov. 2012: IVF #2: Long Lupron protocol.
Started Lupron 10/27. AFC 10+. Started stims (300iu Follistim, 150iu Menopur) 11/8.
Trigger 11/18 (7 follies). ER 11/20: 9R, 1M, 1F. 3dt of my one 6-cell embie on 11/23: BFN.

Dec. 2012: Hail Mary IUI cycle with leftover IVF meds: BFN.

Feb. 2013: IVF #3: Estrogen priming protocol.
Pre-AF: estro patch + ganirelix. AFC 8-10. Started stims (450 Follistim, 150 Menopur) 1/28.
Added ganirelix 2/4. Combined Lupron/HCG trigger 2/10 (6-ish follies).
ET 2/12: 6R, 1M, 1F w/rescue ICSI. My embie didn't make it. :-(

July 2013: DE IVF #1

PAIF/SAIF/PA35 welcome.
Daisypath Anniversary tickers 
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12-22-2012 at 2:08 PM
Llamamama
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I am so very sorry.. I think you need to focus on yourself tonight and if that means skipping the party, then you should.  You never know when the tears are going to hit you and better you be home where you can really let go.  :( 
Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011.  
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12-22-2012 at 2:38 PM
ELF4321
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I replied on the other board too, but wanted to say again how sad I am for you. Hugs.

Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
DX = DOR/POA (AMH=1.1; AFC=4-5)
Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
 
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12-22-2012 at 3:49 PM
Qzees
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I am so sorry to hear this news. Sending hugs your way...
My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Calendar Me 42, DH 34 - TTC #1 since June 2012. 9/12 3-day testing: TSH 3.76, T4 Free 1.1, LH 6.1, FSH 7.4, Prolactin 9.0, Estradiol 56. 12/12 HSG done & my tubes are clear!! 1/22/13 3-day testing: TSH 6.2, FSH 7.7, AMH 0.86, Estradiol 54, Prolactin 10.5. Thyroid almost doubled (hmmm), started Synthroid 2/4/13 and also 15,000 of Vit D 1/wk. 2/26/13 RE says I am in great shape, but DH has MFI - extremly low count along with morphology & motility issues. RE said IUI would be a waste, that IVF with ICSI is what he thinks we should do. Insurance does not cover IVF.... :( DH trying Fertility Blend to help his numbers. 4/15/13 tested my thyroid level again & I am down to 2.71. Too bad I gained 10lbs & I am more tired than I was prior to the meds. 
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12-22-2012 at 3:55 PM
Wishing35
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I'm so sorry for your loss, I would stay home and give yourself some time.
 
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12-22-2012 at 4:05 PM
HeatherIco...
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Oh Irishgirl, big, big, hugs to you. I wish you peace and comfort. I can imagine the shock of feeling finally so excited now this. You are not alone. We are here for you. Hugs!!!
 
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12-22-2012 at 4:24 PM
Jacque Sil...
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I have you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.  Wishing you strength to get through this tuff time.  ((Hugs))

 
Lilypie Trying to Conceive 15 to 80 day cycle tickers 
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12-22-2012 at 4:42 PM
calibride2...
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Im so sorry Irish. My heart is so broken for you. Hugs
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers Me - 41 DH - 28 **** Proud mom to Christopher, dob 7/15/92 **** Nathaniel dob 1/18/05 -1/18/05 (8 mos) in heaven **** bfp 8/26/10 m/c 10/14/10 at 7 wks. **** D&C 10/15/10 **** Cycles 1-4 BFN's **** Cycle #5 - 100 mg Clomid **** IUI #1 - 04/23/11 and 4/24/11 - 5/8/11 IUI #1 = BFFN BFP 10/14/11 - EDD 6/22/12** Stick little one Stick! Athena Jane 5/31/12 - 8/28/12  
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12-22-2012 at 5:02 PM
happywifem...
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So sorry Irish, hoping that the tears will find you when you need them.  Sending big (((hugs))) and T & P your way.
TTC since 10/09 Me-44 DH-45 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN DE IVF 22R, 15M, 13F. Transferred 2-4AB Blasts on 4/7. 6 frosties. Beta #1 at 8dp5dt- 166!!!Beta #2-344 at 10dp5dt Beta #3-719@ 12dp5dt. u/s 4/24 showed one gestational sac, heartbeat 124/min on 5/2.  
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12-22-2012 at 5:04 PM
BeckyP005
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I saw the post on the other board and was shocked. Sending you some big hugs as you go through this difficult time during the holidays. Take care and we are all here for you.
ME:45 MH:42 DE IVF 2013
Matrix Ollie
 
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12-22-2012 at 5:16 PM
irishgirl0...
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Thank you ladies. I decided not to go to the party tonight. I know my cousin will be there with her 6 month old and even though I haven't seen him yet, I think it's better if I just meet him another time.

 
TTC since 3/2010. I'm 40, my husband is 47. He had a vasectomy reversal in January of 2010. We tried on our own for almost a year, then went to an RE. 6 IUIs and several cancelled IVF's and another RE later we are pregnant. 11/2012-new RE, new protocol...IVF cycle #6. 8 follicles but only 4 retrieved and 3 fertilized. 2 6-cell and 1 7-cell C grade fragmented embryos transferred on 11/12-BFP! Beta#1-55, Beta #2-153, Beta #3-593 Beta #4-2402 12/5-First u/s shows 2! One looks good, the 2nd one has no yolk sac visible so fingers crossed! 12/12-2nd sac still empty but fetal pole visible in the other sac. 12/19-No heartbeat and no growth since last week. Miscarriage. Final IVF attempt February 2013. Transferred 2 4-cell embryos, one B grade one D grade. 3/7/13-BFP! Beta #1-97, 3/11 Beta #2-1171 3/14 Beta #3-5095 Beta#4-15,580.  
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12-22-2012 at 6:45 PM
jchow009
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I am really sorry!  hugs!

 
http://www.thebump.com/profiles/profiles-resources/images/img_check.png 
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12-22-2012 at 7:49 PM
KateLouise
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I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm glad you made the best choice for yourself in regards to the party.

Take care. 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
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12-22-2012 at 9:12 PM
10-4LilBud...
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I am so incredibly sorry. My heart breaks for you. My prayers are with you and your husband.
♥ TTC#1 since 2/10 ♥
DX: Me - Slight androgen PCOS Him: Mild MFI Official DX: Unexplained IF
2/11 - 8/11 - 6 cycles Femara (5mg) + TI = BFNs
2/12 - 5/12 - Femara(5mg) + IUI = BFNs
6/12 and 8/12 - Femara (7.5mg) + IUI = BFN :( - considered IUI#3 and 4 by RE
9/12 and 12/12 - Femara (7.5mg for 3 days) + Ovidrel + IUI = BFN
After 8 unsuccessful IUIs and no explanation for IF, moving on to IVF Feb. 2013. IVF with ICSI. 10 eggs fertilized - transferred two and froze three.
BFP! Beta #1 (13dpo) 98 Beta #2 (15dpo) 277 Beta #3 (17 dpo) 874 Beta #4 (22 dpo) 9658
3/20 - First ultrasound - TWO heartbeats!!! Due 11/12/13!

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers 
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12-22-2012 at 9:13 PM
calibride2...
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irishgirl0525:
Thank you ladies. I decided not to go to the party tonight. I know my cousin will be there with her 6 month old and even though I haven't seen him yet, I think it's better if I just meet him another time. nbsp;


Take all the time you need.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers Me - 41 DH - 28 **** Proud mom to Christopher, dob 7/15/92 **** Nathaniel dob 1/18/05 -1/18/05 (8 mos) in heaven **** bfp 8/26/10 m/c 10/14/10 at 7 wks. **** D&C 10/15/10 **** Cycles 1-4 BFN's **** Cycle #5 - 100 mg Clomid **** IUI #1 - 04/23/11 and 4/24/11 - 5/8/11 IUI #1 = BFFN BFP 10/14/11 - EDD 6/22/12** Stick little one Stick! Athena Jane 5/31/12 - 8/28/12  
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12-22-2012 at 11:46 PM
hollyweenO...
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I'm so very sorry.
My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Chart  
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12-23-2012 at 12:05 AM
MommyRie12...
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I am so, so sorry. You are in my thoughts.
"Don't look back, you can never look back." - Don Henley  
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12-23-2012 at 7:00 AM
owlprof
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I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm glad that you were able to take care of yourself and avoid your aunt's party.  I hope you continue to make yourself a priority during the holidays.  (((big, big hugs)))

TTC since Jan 2011,
5 IUIs from January to October 2012 = all BFN
IVF #1, ER scheduled for mid-December  
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12-23-2012 at 2:03 PM
Snapdragon...
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Oh Irishgirl, I am so sad to hear this.  I hope you are able to have a good cry (or many) and find the strength to move on...it must be so incredibly hard to do.  I'm sure it was a good idea to skip the party to take time for yourself.
Me:38 Dh:36 TTC since Oct. 2010
Jan 2012 Clomid without procedure = BFN
Feb 2012 Found cyst during US, then first IUI without med = BFN
April 2012 Laparoscopy for chocolate cyst and mod/severe endo removal
June 2012 Clomid and IUI#2 = BFN
July 2012 Clomid and IUI#3 = BFN
September Menopur + Pregnyl + IUI = BFN
November Menopur + Pregnyl + IUI = BFN
#1 IVF in January with microdose flare protocol
12/26 Started BCPs. 1/11 Start Lupron/Menogon/Puregon
1/22 Trigger shot 1/24 ER 1/29 Embryo Transfer
2/7 Beta#1 274 2/9 Beta#2 876 2/26 Ultrasound = Two heartbeats!!!
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12-24-2012 at 8:05 AM
tampabayRN
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I am so sorry! 
Photobucket Me:36 DH: 34 TTC since 02/2012, not preventing since 2010. Me: testing came back good. DH: dx: MIF low count/motility. RE recommends IVF with ICSI. Update: DH just diagnosed with severe Crohn's disease, so any IF treatment is on hold :(  
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12-24-2012 at 9:51 AM
XV11Star
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I am so terribly terribly sorry to hear this.  My heart just aches for you!  I wish there was something that anyone could do.  You're in my thoughts and prayers... loss after IF is extra, extra cruel.  :'(
Photobucket
Me & Hubby: 41
unofficially TTC: 11 years, officially TTC: 3-ish
Dx: DOR, blocked tubes (both removed), LPD.
5/11 - IUI: FSH 7.5. 100mg Clomid, 150mg Follistim. OHSS/peritonitis. AF arrived on CD 21!:(
7/11 - Lap to remove lg bilateral ovarian cysts + both tubes due to severe infection & blockage.
10/11 - IVF #1. FSH 12. Antagonist. Only 3R,2M,2F. RE advised hormone levels not supportive of implantation, no ET. 2 frosties.
12/11 - IVF #2. MDLF. 3R,2M,2F. 3DT all 4. Beta1: LSP (little skinny positive) 7.5 Beta2: 71! Beta3: 540! Beta4: 3k. 1st u/s 6 wks: no baby. :'( Misoprostol 6w1d. Beta going up @9wks, modified endo biopsy. Beta still up & down - 3/12 MTX, again 4/12.
2013 begin embracing life as CF
Anniversary 
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