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12-23-2012 at 7:28 AM
ball.and.c...
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Donor sperm question: WWIFD?

I just went on to our cryobank's website and noticed our donor now has limited availability. They don't list how many vials -- it just says "Please Call." I'm guessing he has at least one left, since he's still showing up in the catalog, but he will likely sell out soon, forever.

We have 5 embryos from this donor. I had planned to use as many of those 5 as I needed to conceive a sibling in a few years, but now we have to dip into the 5 to conceive #1. We may only need 1 of the 5 for #1, but we may need more. All embryos are very good quality -- I think we may have transferred our only AA the first time, but we have at least a couple of ABs and I don't think anything is below a B. I am 34 now and hopefully will conceive #1 before I turn 35, but will likely be 37-38 when we're ready for #2. We are pretty committed to doing SETs, so it is unlikely we will end up with twins (if we did get twins, we would be done).

I am not that attached to this donor -- if I got through all 5 embryos with no baby and decided to go through egg retrieval again, I would be perfectly happy choosing someone else. But I AM attached to having full bio siblings, so if we conceive #1 on embryo #5, I would want one vial of this donor to do another IVF cycle for the sibling (we only need one). That makes me want to buy one now just in case. But for over $700, it's a big investment for something we may never use. OK, not a huge investment, but we have a lot of home improvements we need to do, are due for a new car, spent a lot of money on Christmas, and are likely not going away on our next vacation due to lack of funds (or needing them for something else). Spending over $700 on bio sibling insurance when we have so many good embryos would be a pretty hard sell for my wife, especially since she is an optimist and is 100% positive it won't take much for me to get pregnant again.

BUT! I can't help worrying about this. Reality check? WWYD? (I think only a few of you have used donor sperm, but I'm happy to hear also from those who have used donor eggs or from those who have used neither but are willing to give their hypothetical opinion.  Thanks!)


Married my wife 8/2007 *** TTC #1 since 7/2011
4 IUIs w/ midwives = 4 BFNs
5 IUIs w/ an RE = 5 BFNs
IVF October/November 2012
ER 11/1: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized!
ET 11/6: 1 blast transferred, 5 frozen
BFP 11/15! Beta #1: 104 Beta #2: 613 Beta #3: 3415
Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E 12/13
FET 1 cancelled
FET 1.1: ET 4/30: 1 blast transferred
BFP 5/7! Beta #1: 142 Beta #2: 730 Beta #3: 3100
*Everyone welcome*

 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-23-2012 at 7:45 AM
melkel559
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melkel559 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:39 AMBronze
So putting the cart before the horse, I asked our RE about this during our wtf, basically wanted his opinion on how many vials we should order to ensure we'd have enough for siblings. Now, we are doing dIUI which is a different scenario, but he brought up a good point. He said that the banks he's dealt with just put the vials aside and don't ship until they are ready to use. So he suggested we ask if we don't use them if they could "put them back on the shelf" so to speak and ask if we could get refunded. Maybe not all the money, but maybe they'd refund a percentage. I haven't looked into it yet but something to consider..GL!

TTC since June 2011
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
PAIF & SAIF always welcome
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 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-23-2012 at 8:34 AM
ball.and.c...
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ball.and.chain is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:18 AMBronze

melkel559:
He said that the banks he's dealt with just put the vials aside and don't ship until they are ready to use. So he suggested we ask if we don't use them if they could "put them back on the shelf" so to speak and ask if we could get refunded. Maybe not all the money, but maybe they'd refund a percentage. I haven't looked into it yet but something to consider..GL!

Our bank will only refund half, so we'd be out about $350 if we didn't use it...not too bad.  I had forgotten about that.  Thanks for the reminder!


Married my wife 8/2007 *** TTC #1 since 7/2011
4 IUIs w/ midwives = 4 BFNs
5 IUIs w/ an RE = 5 BFNs
IVF October/November 2012
ER 11/1: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized!
ET 11/6: 1 blast transferred, 5 frozen
BFP 11/15! Beta #1: 104 Beta #2: 613 Beta #3: 3415
Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E 12/13
FET 1 cancelled
FET 1.1: ET 4/30: 1 blast transferred
BFP 5/7! Beta #1: 142 Beta #2: 730 Beta #3: 3100
*Everyone welcome*

 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-23-2012 at 8:54 AM
mama_cito9...
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mama_cito95 is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 2:37 PMBronze
I didn't use donor sperm, but if you don't mind an outside perspective... IVF is so unpredictable, if you really have your heart set on full bio sibs, the "investment" would be worth it. I would've felt more comfortable with the "back up insurance" just in case I needed more embryos if it were me.

Here's my reasoning: IVF 1 was a success and we had 9 pretty good quality frozen embryos. I was 33. By 35. I was ready for sibling. RE and I were optimistic about FET 1 because of IVF success and quality of embryos. Out of the 9, only 3 survived the thaw. We transferred all three hoping that one would stick, but none did. RE and I were both shocked and not expecting that. After failed IVF 2 we discovered I had uterine polyps that might have been the reason for the failures. Had the polyps removed and so far BFP on HPTs with FET 2. We transferred 3, but not sure how many stuck until u/s.

Don't want to be a downer, but just wanted to throw out some real life scenarios to think about. GL.

2nd ectopic resulted in loss of tube. HSG revealed remaining tube is "severely torqued".
IVF #1: ER 03/29/10; ET 04/01/10: transferred 2 embies; Beta #1 (9dp3dt)- 45; Beta #2 (11dp3dt)- 91= BFP
FET#1: ET 04/18/12: transferred 4 embies; Beta #1: >2 = BFN
IVF #2: ER 06/20/12; ET 6/25/12: transferred 2 embies; Beta #1 on 7/5/12= BFN
8/16: hysteroscopy for polyp removal
11/11: hysteroscopy #2 for yet another polyp removal
FET#2: ET 12/15/12: transferred 3 embies; Beta #1 (9dp5dt): 12/24/12: 426; Beta #2 (11dp5dt): 845= BFP
u/s 1/9= triplets!; miscarried all three on 1/10/13

 

12-23-2012 at 9:16 AM
Mrs.McIris...
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Mrs.McIrish is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:33 PMGold
I have seen lots of good embryos not survive the thaw, not stick and miscarried. I think 700 is a drop in the bucket for insurance of a "chance" of a bio sibling. There is no guarantee with any of this for even one child. My donor eggs didn't work. If you can get half back, it is no brainer to me.


TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:39 and BRCA1+, DH:45
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#5 11/12 bad embryos= BFFN
FINAL DE IVF #6 1/13: cancelled as second donor backed out during stims
Was added last minute as 3rd recipient to new donor on 1/18; ET1/23/13
2/1/13 BFP for the first time ever; Beta hell for several weeks: miscarriage 7 wks
CFNBC ...Me &You, Just Us Two...
GradyPhotobucket
Riley
RIP Riley 1/4/12
PAIF/SAIF Welcome  
12-23-2012 at 9:20 AM
jadwedd
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In the whole scheme of the cost of infertility $700 or $350 whichever the case may be seems like a small amount for the peace of mind.  So I would do it if bio sibs are that important to you :)

Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
12-23-2012 at 9:43 AM
ball.and.c...
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22,303 Points
ball.and.chain is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:18 AMBronze

mama_cito95:
I didn't use donor sperm, but if you don't mind an outside perspective... IVF is so unpredictable, if you really have your heart set on full bio sibs, the "investment" would be worth it. I would've felt more comfortable with the "back up insurance" just in case I needed more embryos if it were me. Here's my reasoning: IVF 1 was a success and we had 9 pretty good quality frozen embryos. I was 33. By 35. I was ready for sibling. RE and I were optimistic about FET 1 because of IVF success and quality of embryos. Out of the 9, only 3 survived the thaw. We transferred all three hoping that one would stick, but none did. RE and I were both shocked and not expecting that. After failed IVF 2 we discovered I had uterine polyps that might have been the reason for the failures. Had the polyps removed and so far BFP on HPTs with FET 2. We transferred 3, but not sure how many stuck until u/s. Don't want to be a downer, but just wanted to throw out some real life scenarios to think about. GL.

Not a downer at all, this is exactly the kind of stuff I want to hear.  Everyone keeps telling me what a "sure thing" this is because I have 5 good embryos, but all it would take is a couple of bad thaws, a couple BFNs and a m/c for us to be back to square one.  I know I am lucky to have those embryos, but I have read too much on this board to be confident about my success at this point!

Thanks to everyone who has responded...I agree that it seems like kind of a no brainer when you put the $350 in the grand scheme of IF costs. I think my main problem is that it's going to tricky to convince my wife we should go for it.  But I think it is becoming clear to me what *I* want to do...


Married my wife 8/2007 *** TTC #1 since 7/2011
4 IUIs w/ midwives = 4 BFNs
5 IUIs w/ an RE = 5 BFNs
IVF October/November 2012
ER 11/1: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized!
ET 11/6: 1 blast transferred, 5 frozen
BFP 11/15! Beta #1: 104 Beta #2: 613 Beta #3: 3415
Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E 12/13
FET 1 cancelled
FET 1.1: ET 4/30: 1 blast transferred
BFP 5/7! Beta #1: 142 Beta #2: 730 Beta #3: 3100
*Everyone welcome*

 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-23-2012 at 10:16 AM
2MamazInSe...
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10,480 Points
2MamazInSeattle is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:31 AMNewbie

B&C,

You are on the path I would take for sure. In the scheme of life, $700 is a drop in the bucket even if it feels big now. I'm paranoid so I'd probably buy 2! But, I know low inventory at most banks means there are usually enough for someone doing an IUI and buying up 6+. If there was only 1, they wouldn't be in the catalog...however, we had found one that was marked low inventory and when I went back it was gone! One person had bought up the lot. Usually banks deserve some for their sibling only catalogs, but not always. It is clearly very important to you, you don't want to kick yourself over this in 5 years over $700. I'd call as soon as possible and get your backup and piece of mind all set.

That all said, I have high hopes and good vibes for your FET#1!!!!

 


Together 7 years and legally married in 2013!
Me: 41 (Excited to carry!) DW: 44
June 2012: First RE appt.due to age + plan to use DS
Sept 2012: Both fallopian tubes removed due to blockage
Dec 2012: Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar 15 2013: Missed miscarriage at 15w4d(discovered at 16w1d via home Doppler).
Mar 22 2013: D&E. Tests showed death due to (fluke) blood clot in umbilical cord. :( Genetics all good.
May 24 2013: Hysterscopy to remove uterine adhesion post D&E.
We have three frosties. Hoping for FET in late July 2013!
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our Donor Egg IVF cycle.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
12-23-2012 at 5:17 PM
ball.and.c...
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2MamazInSeattle:

That all said, I have high hopes and good vibes for your FET#1!!!!

Thanks, I wish I did!  It's always easier to be optimistic for others, I think. :)


Married my wife 8/2007 *** TTC #1 since 7/2011
4 IUIs w/ midwives = 4 BFNs
5 IUIs w/ an RE = 5 BFNs
IVF October/November 2012
ER 11/1: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized!
ET 11/6: 1 blast transferred, 5 frozen
BFP 11/15! Beta #1: 104 Beta #2: 613 Beta #3: 3415
Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E 12/13
FET 1 cancelled
FET 1.1: ET 4/30: 1 blast transferred
BFP 5/7! Beta #1: 142 Beta #2: 730 Beta #3: 3100
*Everyone welcome*

 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-23-2012 at 9:28 PM
melkel559
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Joined on 07-17-2008
18,700 Points
melkel559 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 10:39 AMBronze
ball.and.chain:
2MamazInSeattle:

That all said, I have high hopes and good vibes for your FET#1!!!!

Thanks, I wish I did!  It's always easier to be optimistic for others, I think. :)



Yes, totally true. However I am keeping FX for you!

TTC since June 2011
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
PAIF & SAIF always welcome
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 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-27-2012 at 11:24 AM
laurag1986
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laurag1986 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 4:39 PMNewbie
My RE says that once we concieve we should purchase 3 vials that is what she suggest to everyone that we have in the bank once we conceive. It seems like a lot but if you were forsure wanting 100% bio children that is what I would suggest you have


Trying to Conceive since Aug 2011
Diagnosed with severe male factor IF we got no swimmers
First dIUI Dec 7 2012 = BFN
Second dIUI Jan 9 2013 = BFN
Third dIUI with clomid 50mg Feb 5 2013 = BFN
Forth dIUI with clomid 100mg dIUI March 8 2013 = BFN
Taking a break to figure things out.  
12-27-2012 at 6:34 PM
ball.and.c...
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laurag1986:
My RE says that once we concieve we should purchase 3 vials that is what she suggest to everyone that we have in the bank once we conceive. It seems like a lot but if you were forsure wanting 100% bio children that is what I would suggest you have

Hmmm, good to know.  Unfortunately I didn't call in time and he sold out.  I'm on the notification list in case anyone sells back extra vials, so hopefully I either won't need any more or someone will sell back enough for me to buy some. I hate this sperm business -- so stressful!


Married my wife 8/2007 *** TTC #1 since 7/2011
4 IUIs w/ midwives = 4 BFNs
5 IUIs w/ an RE = 5 BFNs
IVF October/November 2012
ER 11/1: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized!
ET 11/6: 1 blast transferred, 5 frozen
BFP 11/15! Beta #1: 104 Beta #2: 613 Beta #3: 3415
Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E 12/13
FET 1 cancelled
FET 1.1: ET 4/30: 1 blast transferred
BFP 5/7! Beta #1: 142 Beta #2: 730 Beta #3: 3100
*Everyone welcome*

 BabyFruit Ticker 
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