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12-24-2012 at 4:33 AM
jillianjig...
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Debating on finding out gender...

With DD we were team green and I LOVED every minute of not knowing. It made the pregnancy exciting as well as delivery. This time around, I have been struggling with anxiety. We were going to be team green again (DH still wants to be) but I'm feeling that I think it would help me finding out - so I can prepare this time around and not have to feel anxious in the end. I have my a/s on Jan 24th so I have a few weeks to decide. Just not sure what to do. Decisions. Decisions. What would you do? Think it would help me, having things done and ready?

Married my BEST FRIEND on December 1, 2007. Started TTC in March 2008. Found out we were expecting our first child in October 2008 - but had a m/c in December 2008 - resulting in a d&e. Met with a RE in May 2009 and set a plan - but conceived unexpectedly on our own! Our precious little Sophia was born on February 9, 2010! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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12-24-2012 at 5:51 AM
aesthyerin
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I am a ftm and we are team green at the moment. I think the first time would be easier to be team green, but I think like you I would want to know the second time around. I have anxiety as well and I think it would ease my mind to know if I need to get different things or if things from the first baby would be okay. 

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12-24-2012 at 6:09 AM
doremi29
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We found out the first time around and I really wanted to be team green the 2nd time around.  Then I got my bfp, had horrible m/s for 20 weeks, and just didn't feel super connected to the pregnancy.  I wasn't all that excited, kinda dreading have 2 kids, etc.  So, I decided finding out might help and it did.  I don't think it really mattered whether it was a girl or boy (it's a girl), but it just helped me to invision us being a family of 4 and gave me a slight push to start planning for this baby. 

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12-24-2012 at 6:23 AM
animalcrck...
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We found out with DS#1 and did not find out with DS#2.  I do not want to know this time around either until the birth.  I cannot imagine anything more exciting than finding out when they are born.  All of our baby stuff is gender neutral and we are fine either way.  Newborn babies do not need much of anything besides the basics.  Everything else can wait.

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12-24-2012 at 6:40 AM
Grace0609
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A very individual decision.  But, for me, we were team green the first time.  It was nice to experience that side of things.  But, the second time I really wanted to know early so I could start to bond with the particular sex and plan how we were split up the room they would share, etc.  I had a slight preference for a girl, and I didn't want any moments of "disappointment" occuring AFTER the baby was born, so for me, it was the best decision to find out ahead of time.  We did the same this time around.  I felt much more "bonded" to both DS2 and DS3 DURING pregnancy than I did with DS1 b/c I couldn't picture or name DS1.  That's just me, though.


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12-24-2012 at 9:21 AM
prazenjc
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i have never understood why a few extra weeks made it any more of a surprise than it is at 20 weeks. maybe its my age (i'm an older new mother (38 with my 1st son and 41 now w/this LO), but i always want to know when i can.

since you already experienced it at the full term wait, why not find out and then you can know if you need to buy more new things or just freshen up your exisiting baby items with a few new things (which is our plan of attack currently).


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12-24-2012 at 11:05 AM
kellpaluga...
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With our first we didn't find out gender, even though my husband really wanted to know.  I loved it, which was odd because I am a big planner and people were surprised I didn't want to know.  This time around our DS is completely convinced that he is have a baby brother and when we try and say that it could be a sister, he gets upset.  So for his sake we are finding out gender because if it is a girl, we need time to prepare him!  I don't want to find out, but in the long run, I think it will make acceptance of the new sibling easier.

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12-24-2012 at 12:33 PM
OSibyl
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I think if it will ease your mind... go for it! However, if you're worried about being able to plan, the sex won't really matter. You can get everything you need for the baby in gender neutral. Anxiety is a crazy thing. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Good luck.

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12-25-2012 at 6:11 AM
jillianjig...
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jillianjigs7 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 6:52 PMBronze

kellpaluga13:
With our first we didn't find out gender, even though my husband really wanted to know.  I loved it, which was odd because I am a big planner and people were surprised I didn't want to know.  This time around our DS is completely convinced that he is have a baby brother and when we try and say that it could be a sister, he gets upset.  So for his sake we are finding out gender because if it is a girl, we need time to prepare him!  I don't want to find out, but in the long run, I think it will make acceptance of the new sibling easier.

 

This goes for us too! Our DD who will be 3 in Feb swears she is having a little sister! So it would also help us be able to prepare her too. I'm pretty sure we are going to find out. I'm actually excited about it. DD's pregnancy was great being a surprise - made it special. But with this DC this will be just as special because I will be able to plan a little and start to bond! 


Married my BEST FRIEND on December 1, 2007. Started TTC in March 2008. Found out we were expecting our first child in October 2008 - but had a m/c in December 2008 - resulting in a d&e. Met with a RE in May 2009 and set a plan - but conceived unexpectedly on our own! Our precious little Sophia was born on February 9, 2010! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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12-25-2012 at 10:11 PM
Snapdragon...
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It's totally up to you, but I really don't understand the need to be prepared ahead of time.  Prepared how?  Clothes and decor?  Those are really the only gender-specific things, and it's pretty easy to get clothes after the fact (you'll probably get lots of clothes as presents, and besides, gender neutral things exist for a reason!), and nursery decor can wait since the baby won't be in his own room at first.  Unless you're super DIY and know you won't have the energy to decorate later, I suppose.

But if you really want to prep ahead of time and also would like to please your DH and yourself if you want to stay surprised, there are tons of really adorable gender-neutral themes for nurseries out there.  And then you won't have to deal with worrying that the u/s was wrong! (Yes I know the chance is small, but I'm the type to worry about that stuff no matter how small the chance.)  PLUS then you get to re-use the nursery for any future baby. 

 
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