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12-24-2012 at 11:03 AM
missgoosey...
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Joined on 07-15-2012
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missgooseyface is not online. Last active: 04-16-2013, 1:12 PMNewbie

My first experience with being "over the top"

Ugh.  In addition to everyone at BILs house being sick...MIL is also sick.  She was supposed to stop by tomorrow but we have told her because she is sick that it will have to wait until after she is feeling better.  I was talking to my aunt and telling her about it (and how my MIL was trying to play it off like she wasn't sick which REALLY pissed me off) and my aunt said "I think you are being a little over the top".  I explained to her that no, I am not being over the top...it is the middle of flu and RSV season and it is not worth LO ending up back in the hospital.  I also said that even if she was FT, she still would only be a month and a half old and we probably wouldn't risk it in that situation either.  She still thought I was being too overprotective about it and that pisses me off.  I was actually about to cry when she was telling me I was over reacting.  Of course she threw in that I "am the mother and she respects my decisions" but I am still mad.  People just don't understand.  They don't know what it's like to have a baby int he NICU...it is the last place anyone ever wants to end up back in again especially when it is preventable.  Ugh.  Preemie parents are the only ones who understand.

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12-24-2012 at 11:52 AM
CurlingRoc...
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CurlingRocks is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 9:48 PMGold
Well, you wrote in your OP everything I would have said in response, so I got nothing but empathy.  Hang in there, Mama!  It's going to be a long winter.  (And you absolutely did the right thing!)

Preemie Resources: http://preemiemomblog.blogspot.com/ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers 
12-24-2012 at 12:07 PM
DrRx
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DrRx is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 11:13 AMSilver

I agree with CurlingRocks.  You did everything right.  RSV and flu are out in full force, earlier than anticipated.  We even have to compound Tamiflu because we can't get enough from the manufacturer for the kid's formulation.

I know how hard it is when people don't understand, especially family members.  DH's brothers and their wives don't really get it.  DH's mother used to not get it, until she saw Adalyn have one of her brady episodes during a feed (about 3 weeks after we got her home) and how she turned blue, we had to turn up the oxygen, etc.  Now, she gets it.  She may not understand it, but she realizes that she doesn't know anything about having to deal with a baby that was in the NICU and doesn't try to tell me what she would do. 

As hard as it is, you've got to let it roll off of you and just know that what you are doing is the best thing for your baby.  GL and Merry Christmas!


TTC Since July 2008.
Me: PCOS DH: Low everything (MFI)
Clomid with TI x 3 2010 BFN
Clomid+IUI+Ovidrel 2010 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 2011
9/8 Beta #1: 2082!! 9/19 Beta#2 34,689!! U/S 9/22 HR 127! 11/8 HR 150! 12/6 HR 136! 12/14 HR 139! Born at 26w2d on 2/4/2012! After 83 days in the NICU, Adalyn came home on 4/26/12  
12-24-2012 at 12:19 PM
BostonKiss...
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BostonKisses2 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:12 AMPlatinum
Those reactions still make me stabby.  People seriously don't get it.  I go through it all the time with my MIL, and she's an effing RN so you'd think she would get it quicker than others!  I'm glad you stood your ground, and you handled the situation well based off what you wrote.  I'm sorry you had to deal with that, though.
12-24-2012 at 6:22 PM
pamelamela...
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pamelamelanie924 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 8:33 PMNewbie
I've been the exact same way with people. I don't care if it makes them mad, it's my child and I don't want her to have to be back in the hospital. You'd think people would have more sense and respect, but they don't. You're not being over the top. You're being a good mom. :) 

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12-25-2012 at 3:56 PM
Shauna07
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Joined on 04-24-2005
Brookline, MA
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Shauna07 is not online. Last active: 02-28-2013, 10:07 PMNewbie
You'll just have to ignore the people (and there are lots of them!) who don't get it.  I agree, they all don't know what it's like having a LO in the NICU.  My friend even had her son at full-term the same week I had my daughter at 31 weeks, and her son got RSV when they got home and went back into the hospital for a week.  He was full term!  Just stay away from the sick people and if someone in their home is sick -- your baby comes first -- before other peoples feelings :)

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12-27-2012 at 7:38 AM
strudel82
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strudel82 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 10:15 AMBronze
This drives me nuts. They got to make the decisions with their kids, now back off and let you make them for your LO. Who cares if you're over the top, it's your right to be that way.

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12-30-2012 at 7:30 AM
BandEddie
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Joined on 10-18-2006
Lowell, Massachusetts
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BandEddie is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 11:07 AMBronze

Augh that "you are the mother line" kills me, because it's condescending bullsh1t to my ears - it's something other women say when they want you to know they think you're being an idiot. I've gotten that, and my internal response has been "Well TYVM for giving me permission to parent my child. I feel so empowered now!"

The NICU is a blessing and a nightmare all wrapped into one, so I know where you're coming from. No one knows the anxiety and fear and weariness of that place like parents who have landed there with their babies. Kudos to you for advocating for your little nugget! 


ttc since June 2010.
Our prayers were answered October 16th, 2012. Lilypie Premature Baby tickers


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