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12-25-2012 at 8:52 AM
CinemaGodd...
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Petty holiday vent.

I'm irrationally pissed off at my husband. 

I did everything for Christmas this year.  Purchased and wrapped all the presents. Baked the christmas treats.  Coordinated with my family and his for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day activities.

I put out all the presents last night and the stocking stuffers for DH and the girls.

My present?  Still in DH's car.  Unwrapped.  I won't be getting stocking stuffers because DH "didn't have time".  Of course, there was plenty of time to hang out with his friends and fart around on the internet.  No time to go to Walgreens and get me a box of Russel Stover chocolates and a toothbrush or something equally weird and unusual.  (The standard stocking stuffer fare in the CG household.)

The girls will be getting up before DH and will make a beeline to their presents.  DH will open his presents. 

I will have to wait for DH to go out to his car, bring my present up to the house, and be wrapped.  So while everyone else is opening presents, I will be sitting there, not opening presents because DH couldn't get his shiit together. 

The more I think about this the more pissed off I'm getting.  I deserve to be able to open presents at the same time everyone else does.

Goddamit. 

/vent
 
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12-25-2012 at 9:06 AM
mbenit4
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Does he really have to wrap your present at this point? The only difference in my home is that SO does help wrap and put together on Christmas Eve. We also did not buy anything for each other.

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12-25-2012 at 9:11 AM
RondackHik...
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Oh that sucks. I'm sorry.
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12-25-2012 at 9:14 AM
Whenigrowu...
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Booo! Your DH is a Scrooge. Time to tell him his present for you now includes doing all necessary housework and cooking and whateverelseyoudontwanttodo from now until you feel like he's made it up to you.  

 
 
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12-25-2012 at 9:19 AM
RondackHik...
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And FTR I don't think it's irrational. He could have made an effort and didn't. You made an effort. I would be hurt as well. I'd explain that you are hurt that he took time for other things and didnt put in an effort. It isn't the gift so much as trying to make you feel loved and special.
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12-25-2012 at 9:41 AM
Spapeggy
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I wod be waking him up and nicely giving him a piece of my mind.....
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12-25-2012 at 9:41 AM
Spooko
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I hear ya. DH and I both got new phones in the last month that were our main presents. But I told DH I had already gotten him a small thing prior to us deciding on the phones. I was hoping he'd get me something. I knew better than to expect it, but I still had that bit of hope. Nope, nothing. Kinda bummed here, too.
 
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12-25-2012 at 10:08 AM
SarahL77
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I'd be disappointed, too. I'm sorry CG. Your husband is on the naughty list for next year.
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12-25-2012 at 10:10 AM
MrsSkull11...
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Not irrational. I'd be upset too. He really screwed up.
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12-25-2012 at 11:11 AM
Hesterlici...
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SarahL77:
I'd be disappointed, too. I'm sorry CG. Your husband is on the naughty list for next year.


Yep this. Looks like your effort should go to yourself next year because Santa won't be visiting your H.
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12-25-2012 at 11:32 AM
Brewtowngr...
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DH and I went to a packer game for our present.  We wrapped up stuff we bought ourselves so the kids saw us opening things:)  Decided on this because of my lesson learned with previous holidays where DH did what yours did.  
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12-25-2012 at 12:14 PM
hopanka
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And thats why i buy myself at least a couple stocking stuffers, cause i learned my lesson in years past. Now i KNOW i will have something there, in case he drops the ball.
 
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12-25-2012 at 12:49 PM
kendra223
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I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

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12-25-2012 at 1:09 PM
FormerlyKr...
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Not petty at all. 

My feelings would be hurt and I'd be highly irritated. 
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12-25-2012 at 1:24 PM
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Whenigrowup:

Booo! Your DH is a Scrooge. Time to tell him his present for you now includes doing all necessary housework and cooking and whateverelseyoudontwanttodo from now until you feel like he's made it up to you.  

 

This. Let him know that he's basically told you that you're not worth the effort of wrapping a solitary present. Then for lunch give him the ngredients saying you didn't have time to actually cook it but it's the thought that counts so here you go.
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12-25-2012 at 1:26 PM
CinemaGodd...
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kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

No.

It also matters that your husband recognizes your effort during the holiday season when he hasn't done a thing to help.

And people who say they don't like getting presents are lying liars who lie.  Everyone likes getting presents. 

Anyway - Thanks guise.  DH is mad at me for being mad at him and "ruining Christmas".  Whatever.  He can be mad all he wants. 

 
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12-25-2012 at 1:26 PM
Betty&Co
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kendra223:
I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me. How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

::massive eye roll::
Try not to fall off your high horse there.

CG, I would be hurt too. It's about the effort and thought that was not put forth, not the actual gifts. Sorry girl.

I prayed for this child, and the lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27


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12-25-2012 at 2:13 PM
LoisLayn23
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kendra223:
I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me. How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

No, what really matters is spending time with family and making others happy, which her H failed at. I love giving gifts as much, if not more, than getting them. I would be upset if my H didn't put in effort too.
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12-25-2012 at 2:23 PM
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kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

Um, no.

H and I didn't do gifts this year. We're broke, so we dd gifts for the kid and I crafted stuff for family. That is the only reason it's acceptable he doesn't have anything ready for me this year.

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12-25-2012 at 3:26 PM
elmoali
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Oh, I'd be pissed.  This is absolutely not the same as AGREEING to only do gifts for the kids or to buy for yourself.  If the understanding is that husband/wife are buying for each other and one does and does it right and the other makes it seem like he doesn't GAF, that sucks and is hurtful as hell.
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12-25-2012 at 3:28 PM
Wine O Mit...
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kendra223:
I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me. How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.


Haha. No.

CG, I'm sorry your H did that. I'd be upset too!

You deserve a night out, by yourself, perhaps to a movie of your choice, with both armrests all to yourself! ...insert winky face here because the mobile app will remove the smiley...
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12-25-2012 at 3:28 PM
SarahL77
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kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

Good gawd. Is your nose bleeding way up there?
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12-25-2012 at 3:35 PM
ClaryPax
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eh- I don't care if my present isn't wrapped.  However DH did all the Christmas cards and is cooking dinner.  I just told him I am doing presents this year, but not Christmas cards, so if he wants them to go out then he has to do them.  I would make your H do more next year, but try not to let it ruin your holiday this year. 
 
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12-25-2012 at 3:57 PM
RondackHik...
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elmoali:
Oh, I'd be pissed. nbsp;This is absolutely not the same as AGREEING to only do gifts for the kids or to buy for yourself. nbsp;If the understanding is that husband/wife are buying for each other and one does and does it right and the other makes it seem like he doesn't GAF, that sucks and is hurtful as hell.


This. PP, congrats you're happy with the way you do things. But it isn't the only way, and it's really snotty to imply that she shouldn't be hurt by thoughtless behavior.
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12-25-2012 at 4:22 PM
J&A2008
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DH got me two gifts this year. One I picked and it came in the mail unwrapped. The other was the movie Elf which DH got on his own and wrapped for me. I liked the gift of the movie best because of the thought and effort. I don't think your feelings are irrational. I also think your H just isn't thinking about how much it means to you that he wraps your present and gives it to you with all the other gifts.
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12-25-2012 at 7:19 PM
Snapdragon...
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Yeah DH doesn't really get the concept that "it's the thought that counts" works both ways either.  I feel like a jerk for being unappreciative of a present, but if he gets me exactly what I asked him for, at the last second, unwrapped, it kind of makes me feel like he spent no thought/effort on me.  Maybe explain it that way to him?  Later, of course, after you've cooled down!
 
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12-25-2012 at 8:27 PM
mbenit4
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kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

I didn't think this was a shitty post. She acknowledged OPs feelings. She states she is of the opinion it should be about the kids only. Not that this is the way everyone else should do it. She says if my DH did this to me, I would consider not exchanging in the future. Seems reasonable to me. OP doesn't have anything to open then he shouldn't either.

The children opening their gifts isn't what really matters? I must be missing something. Oh well.  

Might be because we only buy for our children. I would be very happy I had a gift from my SO that he went and got on his own. I wouldn't care less that it was wrapped or under a tree.

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12-25-2012 at 8:48 PM
elmoali
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mbenit4:
kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

I didn't think this was a shitty post. She acknowledged OPs feelings. She states she is of the opinion it should be about the kids only. Not that this is the way everyone else should do it. She says if my DH did this to me, I would consider not exchanging in the future. Seems reasonable to me. OP doesn't have anything to open then he shouldn't either.

The children opening their gifts isn't what really matters? I must be missing something. Oh well.  

Might be because we only buy for our children. I would be very happy I had a gift from my SO that he went and got on his own. I wouldn't care less that it was wrapped or under a tree.

The reason it's kind of shitty is because she basically said "I can see why you're mad but your expectations are too high because Christmas is about the kids."  That would be fine if OP and her DH agreed that this was true but since they didn't, she has every right to be hurt and I don't think it's appropriate to try and persuade someone to see that they could have prevented their own hurt feelings, kwim? 
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12-25-2012 at 8:48 PM
RondackHik...
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mbenit4:
kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

I didn't think this was a shitty post. She acknowledged OPs feelings. She states she is of the opinion it should be about the kids only. Not that this is the way everyone else should do it. She says if my DH did this to me, I would consider not exchanging in the future. Seems reasonable to me. OP doesn't have anything to open then he shouldn't either.

The children opening their gifts isn't what really matters? I must be missing something. Oh well. &nbsp;

Might be because we only buy for our children. I would be very happy I had a gift from my SO that he went and got on his own. I wouldn't care less that it was wrapped or under a tree.



The last line in that post is pretty snarky. And other people have said that if you agree not to exchange ahead, that's fine. But if you agree to exchange, it's pretty hurtful to do nothing. And wrong to basically say "suck it up and watch your kids open gifts". The not being willing to get it out of the car seems pretty insensitive to me.
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12-25-2012 at 9:13 PM
mbenit4
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RondackHiker:
mbenit4:
kendra223:

I can see why you're mad. But honestly... I'm one of those people who think presents should be about the kids only. DH and I didn't even get eachother anything and I think it's easier that way for both of us. If my DH did this to me, I'd seriously consider not even messing with Christmas for eachother next year.. but again.. just me.

How about just enjoy watching your children opening their presents, that's what really matters.

I didn't think this was a shitty post. She acknowledged OPs feelings. She states she is of the opinion it should be about the kids only. Not that this is the way everyone else should do it. She says if my DH did this to me, I would consider not exchanging in the future. Seems reasonable to me. OP doesn't have anything to open then he shouldn't either.

The children opening their gifts isn't what really matters? I must be missing something. Oh well.  

Might be because we only buy for our children. I would be very happy I had a gift from my SO that he went and got on his own. I wouldn't care less that it was wrapped or under a tree.

The last line in that post is pretty snarky. And other people have said that if you agree not to exchange ahead, that's fine. But if you agree to exchange, it's pretty hurtful to do nothing. And wrong to basically say "suck it up and watch your kids open gifts". The not being willing to get it out of the car seems pretty insensitive to me.

Meh. I didn't take it as snarky. No one denied he was insensitive. I don't think it is fair that he receives and OP doesn't. If he can't handle his end then he shouldn't get anything. No one denied it being hurtful. I just didn't take the sentence as suck it up. More like, enjoy seeing your children's faces as they open their presents since that is what matter - deal with azzhole DH later. I just didn't read it as holier than thou was all I was saying. 

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