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12-26-2012 at 12:35 AM
BrensMommy...
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5 years apart...2 showers???

Hi! This is my first post and I have a question I figured I could possibly get answered. PLEASE dont think I am rude or flame me. So anyway...here goes! 

 

I had my son 5 years ago. I married my hubby and we were both told neither of us could have more kids due to me having a bad labor with my son and my hubby being infertile after being tested multiple times. (He is not my sons father.) So naturally I got rid of EVERYTHING for a baby. But suprise suprise! I am expecting! Would it be tacky to have another shower? I know alot of people look down on second showers but this is 5 years later. Also, I dont want people to think I just want gifts. I dont. I just feel like this baby should also be celebrated, after thinking this would never happen again! How could I go about having something? Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks all!! :) :) 
 
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12-26-2012 at 1:36 AM
wyattlove
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I'm currently pregnant with my second and I don't see anything wrong with having a baby shower. Now a days people are having showers for their third and fourth pregnancies. Have a shower a celebrate your blessing!!!!
 
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12-26-2012 at 5:44 AM
SarahBBowe...
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BrensMommy07:

Hi! This is my first post and I have a question I figured I could possibly get answered. PLEASE dont think I am rude or flame me. So anyway...here goes! 

 

I had my son 5 years ago. I married my hubby and we were both told neither of us could have more kids due to me having a bad labor with my son and my hubby being infertile after being tested multiple times. (He is not my sons father.) So naturally I got rid of EVERYTHING for a baby. But suprise suprise! I am expecting! Would it be tacky to have another shower? I know alot of people look down on second showers but this is 5 years later. Also, I dont want people to think I just want gifts. I dont. I just feel like this baby should also be celebrated, after thinking this would never happen again! How could I go about having something? Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks all!! :) :) 

A shower is a gift given by someone else?  Has someone offered? 

Also, wanting to celebrate every baby is a tired excuse for having a shower.  A shower is to celebrate a NEW mom with gifts.  If you truly don't want gifts (doubtful) and want to actually celebrate your baby then have a meet the baby party.

 
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12-26-2012 at 5:44 AM
Estwd2
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To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there?

Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.
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12-26-2012 at 5:45 AM
FemShep
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In this circumstance, I can understand why you want a second shower, and wouldnt side-eye it, BUT...

Please don't throw your own shower, it's tacky and gift grabby. Has anyone offered to throw a shower for you?  The sole purpose of a shower is to welcome mom to motherhood by showering her with gifts. 

If it's truly just about celebrating the baby, host a non-gift-giving event like a meet the baby party after LO arrives.  Don't mention gifts or registries in any way.  
 
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12-26-2012 at 6:49 AM
RoxyLynn
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Of course your baby will be celebrated!  But a shower isn't the way to go for a second-time Mom - the shower celebrates a woman becoming a mother, and that only happens once.

You can have a Meet The Baby party, a religious event (baptism, bris, etc.), and so on.  But if someone offers to host a shower, gracefully decline.
I think it can be done well, and I would have loved it, but taking all of the crappy parts of school away from a kid isn't good for them in the long run.

There are lessons like "Not everyone likes you" and "Some people are douche bags" that you don't learn without socializing in a large group of poorly supervised children.
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12-26-2012 at 8:50 AM
Joy2611
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A shower doesn't really celebrate the baby.  The baby isn't really "there" and the majority of the gifts are for the mother to help care for the baby.  I understand that you got rid of all your baby stuff, but that doesn't mean that you get to overlook the purpose of a shower in the name of having all your friends and family buying *you* gifts.

I think a Meet the Baby party would be perfect for your situation.  "Look!  We never thought this little miracle would arrive but he's here and he's perfect!  Please come meet him!"  That is a far better reason for a party than "Oh, I threw away my crib.  Buy me one!"

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12-26-2012 at 9:32 AM
Bliss+Berr...
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Estwd2:
To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there? Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.

100% this. 
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12-26-2012 at 9:54 AM
Cranang
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Bliss+Berry:

Estwd2:
To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there? Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.

100% this. 

Yup, exactly this.
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12-26-2012 at 10:26 AM
mrsmcdonal...
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Cranang:
Bliss+Berry:

Estwd2:
To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there? Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.

100% this. 

Yup, exactly this.

 I completely agree with this as well. You never plan your own shower. I'm kind of in a similar situation. DD will be almost four by the time DD#2 comes. We had been told after several losses that we couldn't get pregnant again, so I got rid of everything. For us, it's like starting all over again. I have turned down shower offers because I don't feel comfortable having another shower - my family and friends were very generous with DD#1 and I don't feel they should have to spend more money because we chose to get rid of everything. It's our responsibility to provide for the baby - no one else's. And showers are for the mothers, not for the babies that aren't even there for the event. If you're really just about celebrating the baby, then have a meet the baby after he/she is born.

 
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12-26-2012 at 11:41 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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Have a meet the baby party. Those that want to bring gifts will. Those that don't won't. Please don't throw your own shower. It's nobody's fault you got rid of your baby items except your own. You buy your own stuff and bonus score if someone buys you something.

Throwing your own baby shower just to get stuff is messed up. If you truly want to celebrate your baby do it when they are actually present.

If you want to celebrate this pregnancy then do so with your immediate family at a meal that you host. I wouldn't call it a shower. Don't register. People will bring gifts if they want.
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12-26-2012 at 11:51 AM
ggatlanta
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Ding ding ding!

This the winner of 2012's Best-Planned MUD! Hah. I mean, it's not totally unrealistic, but the subjects are guaranteed to evoke a response: "second showers", "not about the gifts but I do need everything", "hosting it myself", and more. It is missing "different gender" and "diaper raffle / book-as-card" but that only adds to the realism. The only way it could truly be better is if the OP had used an older AE (as in one with other posts to its name, making it harder to identify as MUD).

But still, bravo, OP! If you want it to get really fun, please do come back and act sanctimonious.

Short work week plus potentially-fun-MUD-drama = one happy pregnant lady here. Hah.
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12-26-2012 at 12:44 PM
Liz4444
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Cranang:
Bliss+Berry:

Estwd2:
To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there? Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.


100% this.&nbsp;



Yup, exactly this.


Ditto.
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12-26-2012 at 2:32 PM
MrsArrants
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ggatlanta:

 "diaper raffle / book-as-card" 

 

To the original poster (if this isn't a fake) I would say what everybody else already has. Don't throw your own shower. It's really is tacky. Do a Meet the Baby instead.

I get that it's been a while since the first baby, but still. I just had a friend who found out she was pregnant the same time I did. Except she found out when she was 7 months pregnant instead of just a couple weeks.... and by the time DS#2 arrived, her first child was just turning 13. Surprise!!!  She didn't want a baby shower, but a surprise shower was thrown for her and she didn't have any say in the matter and she was really embarrassed about it all. 

 

To GGAtlanta:  what is a "diaper raffle / book-as-card" ?? Never heard of that. 
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12-26-2012 at 2:43 PM
White Pony...
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wyattlove:
Now a days people are having showers for their third and fourth pregnancies.

Wait, what?  Are you insane? 
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12-26-2012 at 3:04 PM
MelRC117
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allierhiana1:

wyattlove:
Now a days people are having showers for their third and fourth pregnancies.

Wait, what?  Are you insane? 

Yes, yes she is.  Wyattlove wants to throw her own shower for her 2nd child on the same day as her first child's birthday party.
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12-26-2012 at 3:06 PM
White Pony...
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MelRC117:
allierhiana1:

wyattlove:
Now a days people are having showers for their third and fourth pregnancies.

Wait, what?  Are you insane? 

Yes, yes she is.  Wyattlove wants to throw her own shower for her 2nd child on the same day as her first child's birthday party.

Ah, I didn't realize that was the same poster.

 
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12-26-2012 at 3:11 PM
MelRC117
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MrsArrants:
ggatlanta:

 "diaper raffle / book-as-card" 

To GGAtlanta:  what is a "diaper raffle / book-as-card" ?? Never heard of that. 

Diaper raffle is putting on the invite for guests to bring a pack of diapers and they will be entered into a raffle for a prize.

Book as a card is asking for books instead of cards.

Basically, both things ask your guests to bring specific things.  Yeah they are optional but then you feel like the odd one out if youre the only one that doesn't bring a pack of diapers.
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12-26-2012 at 4:00 PM
rhubarb123
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Liz4444:
Cranang:
Bliss+Berry:

Estwd2:
To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there? Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.

100% this. 

Yup, exactly this.

Ditto.
 
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12-26-2012 at 4:01 PM
rhubarb123
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rhubarb123:
Liz4444:
Cranang:
Bliss+Berry:

Estwd2:
To sum up, "I got rid of everything, so I want a shower. But I swear it's not about the gifts!" Do you see the obvious contradiction there? Congrats on your baby. Really, I'm happy for you, but it sounds like second showers are not the norm in your family and that no one has offered to throw one. Take the hint, buy your own baby gear, and find another way to celebrate the new baby. May I suggest a meet the baby party? Much better suited to your situation.

100% this. 

Yup, exactly this.

Ditto.

Add me to the list that agrees with this.
 
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12-27-2012 at 12:03 PM
ChrissyLou...
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I feel like a second shower is a great thing. I am having my two children 4 1/2 years apart. My first was a girl and now I am expecting a boy. My husband is my daughters father (step dad soon to be adopted) but this is the first baby for him and  his family. I think having one for each sex or if they are far apart is just fine. I am not expecting one but it would be nice. It's just a nice thing to have to be celebrated and have one last party before the new one comes. I also do not like after the baby is born showers. I just feel like thats alot for the mom and baby. The moms worrying about the baby being passed around to everyone, the baby is being passed here and there. It is much better to have visitors in your own home on your terms to be more comfortable. BUT these are just my opinions, I hope it helps some!
 
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01-01-2013 at 9:34 PM
infinitemo...
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I personally see nothing wrong with this IF someone offers to throw you one. In my family we have recently had two second showers. One for one that was five years apart and one for one that was 8 years apart. No one is forced to buy you gifts. The people who love you will probably buy you stuff anyway. But if someone offers I wouldn't feel bad about taking them up on it. 
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01-02-2013 at 11:46 AM
LeToyaR
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Having a second shower is soooo tacky...NOT! Celebrate with the ones you love and want to support you. This is HIS first baby and a miracle at that! If anyone gives you any grief about that-they simply don't have to attend.

Never feel ashamed for wanting to celebrate such an occasion as this.

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