Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: Pregnancy Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

< Previous topic | Next topic >

All Boards > 2nd Trimester

Sort:
12-26-2012 at 8:30 AM
theroadahe...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-19-2012
1,314 Posts
21,442 Points
theroadahead is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 12:38 AMBronze

I don't understand?

Can someone please explain to me why everyone is so dead set on needing to touch pregnant women's stomachs? At Christmas my mom insisted that when I start showing I have to let her touch my stomach. Unless the baby is kicking or you are the baby's mother or father why do you need to touch someone's stomach? I find it creepy and a huge invasion of my space. If I feel the baby kick and I tell you to touch it then fine, but otherwise...? Would you touch my boobs or butt if they got larger? No. 
Pregnancy Ticker

My Blog

VOTE on my Name List 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:31 AM
scj110610
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-18-2012
139 Posts
2,603 Points
scj110610 is not online. Last active: 02-12-2013, 3:00 PMNewbie
it kind of makes me chuckle since the baby is WAY lower than where most people touch. i want so badly to say, yeah you totally just rubbed the top of my uterus. hahaha!!
BabyFetus Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:34 AM
MrsMuq
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-23-2009
Long Island
1,790 Posts
27,901 Points
MrsMuq is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 8:07 PMBronze

I used to tell family members (other than DH) if they rubbed my belly, I'd break their arm. That got the message across clear and loud.

Another method that worked is looking at the offending person and asking them if they would rub your belly if you had just gotten fat. They usually just turn red and run away.

I'm just not a touchy, feely person - no one should be rubbing my belly unless I invite them to!
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses." 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:35 AM
theroadahe...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-19-2012
1,314 Posts
21,442 Points
theroadahead is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 12:38 AMBronze

scj110610:
it kind of makes me chuckle since the baby is WAY lower than where most people touch. i want so badly to say, yeah you totally just rubbed the top of my uterus. hahaha!!

Haha yeah that's another thing, most people don't know where to even touch!  
Pregnancy Ticker

My Blog

VOTE on my Name List 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:39 AM
theroadahe...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-19-2012
1,314 Posts
21,442 Points
theroadahead is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 12:38 AMBronze
MrsMuq:

I used to tell family members (other than DH) if they rubbed my belly, I'd break their arm. That got the message across clear and loud.

Another method that worked is looking at the offending person and asking them if they would rub your belly if you had just gotten fat. They usually just turn red and run away.

I'm just not a touchy, feely person - no one should be rubbing my belly unless I invite them to!

My dad caught me off guard one day and I told him I was going to "throat punch him". What you said is very true, they wouldn't touch you if you were just getting fat... at least I hope not. If a stranger touches me I will probably rip them a new one. :-)
Pregnancy Ticker

My Blog

VOTE on my Name List 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 9:26 AM
JordynLeig...
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-20-2011
934 Posts
22,120 Points
JordynLeighx3 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:14 PMBronze

I would assume they touch it for the same reason you or DH feel the need to rub your belly...they want to feel a connection with the baby, not you.

 

I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea but it never has bothered me. And it's your stomach, not your private part. I don't really think it's fair to compare it to that, TO ME it's not much different than if someone were to come up to me and give a little pat/shoulder rub and say "hey hows it going, long time no see!"

image 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 9:55 AM
Raeily
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-16-2010
2,438 Posts
42,119 Points
Raeily is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:27 PMSilver
JordynLeighx3:

I would assume they touch it for the same reason you or DH feel the need to rub your belly...they want to feel a connection with the baby, not you.

 

I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea but it never has bothered me. And it's your stomach, not your private part. I don't really think it's fair to compare it to that, TO ME it's not much different than if someone were to come up to me and give a little pat/shoulder rub and say "hey hows it going, long time no see!"

Yeah, it honestly didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. They're just trying to be a part of it all, even if they're being stupid and rubbing the belly when the baby is no where near big enough to be felt. People want to be connected and it doesn't bother me. If they try groping my boobs or try to see if I'm dilated, that would be too much. ;) 
January 2013 Moms - May Siggy Challenge - You and LO
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Anniversary
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 10:00 AM
highlights
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-30-2012
592 Posts
11,796 Points
highlights is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 11:01 PMBronze
JordynLeighx3:

I would assume they touch it for the same reason you or DH feel the need to rub your belly...they want to feel a connection with the baby, not you.

I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea but it never has bothered me. And it's your stomach, not your private part. I don't really think it's fair to compare it to that, TO ME it's not much different than if someone were to come up to me and give a little pat/shoulder rub and say "hey hows it going, long time no see!"

Eh, I hate it when people touch my shoulders too. I feel uncomfortable when people violate my personal space.

And really, if you want to grab a chunk of fat, I have better places than my stomach.

BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 10:19 AM
SouthSideD...
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-30-2010
Chicago, IL
7,114 Posts
75,261 Points
SouthSideDrea is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 11:11 AMGold
People feel like pregnant women are community property. Advice, touching, all sorts of unwanted intrusions. My stomach is covered in sores and bruises from where I've had ports for my pump so when people com in for a rub I grab their hand and stop them, that shlt hurts.
Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
The Maiden Metallurgist

Curious about babywearing? Check out my friend Meredith's Babyweraring Guide
Untitled BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 12:24 PM
I Love my ...
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-07-2011
787 Posts
15,266 Points
I Love my Dave is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 4:39 PMBronze
I'm not into it either, they only person I don't mind is my husband.
BabyFruit Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 12:38 PM
RussianMom...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-05-2012
3,049 Posts
59,137 Points
RussianMommy is online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 5:09 AMSilver
I don't understand why women get so mad over this.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 1:49 PM
CBL23
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-03-2012
325 Posts
6,499 Points
CBL23 is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 6:36 AMNewbie

RussianMommy:
I don't understand why women get so mad over this.

 Because it's my body and I don't want everyone and their brother touching me. 

 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 2:47 PM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
2,867 Posts
43,598 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:07 PMSilver
Raeily:
JordynLeighx3:

I would assume they touch it for the same reason you or DH feel the need to rub your belly...they want to feel a connection with the baby, not you.

 

I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea but it never has bothered me. And it's your stomach, not your private part. I don't really think it's fair to compare it to that, TO ME it's not much different than if someone were to come up to me and give a little pat/shoulder rub and say "hey hows it going, long time no see!"

Yeah, it honestly didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. They're just trying to be a part of it all, even if they're being stupid and rubbing the belly when the baby is no where near big enough to be felt. People want to be connected and it doesn't bother me. If they try groping my boobs or try to see if I'm dilated, that would be too much. ;) 

This. It doesn't bother me at all.  Also, I think threatening to throat punch your own dad over a belly touch is kind of douchey. 
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 3:27 PM
AFBTB
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-24-2005
La la land
1,171 Posts
11,347 Points
AFBTB is not online. Last active: 04-26-2013, 6:48 AMBronze
Bliss+Berry:
Raeily:
JordynLeighx3:

I would assume they touch it for the same reason you or DH feel the need to rub your belly...they want to feel a connection with the baby, not you.

 

I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea but it never has bothered me. And it's your stomach, not your private part. I don't really think it's fair to compare it to that, TO ME it's not much different than if someone were to come up to me and give a little pat/shoulder rub and say "hey hows it going, long time no see!"

Yeah, it honestly didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. They're just trying to be a part of it all, even if they're being stupid and rubbing the belly when the baby is no where near big enough to be felt. People want to be connected and it doesn't bother me. If they try groping my boobs or try to see if I'm dilated, that would be too much. ;) 

This. It doesn't bother me at all.  Also, I think threatening to throat punch your own dad over a belly touch is kind of douchey. 

Yes  All of this. I don't see the point behind getting so worked up over it. It's no big deal to me.
BabyFruit TickerLilypie Third Birthday tickers "You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the one person you can't live without." 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 3:48 PM
JSS1002
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-07-2012
4,304 Posts
84,400 Points
JSS1002 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:57 PMSilver

With me, it depends on WHO is touching my stomach.  DH, my parents, my brother and SIL (though I don't thnik my brother would ever do that), and close friends... fine.  But if anybody else tried, I think it would make me very uncomfortable.

I dont' think people mean any harm though, I think they are trying to be sweet and excited and show your child some love. 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 3:59 PM
MrsMuq
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-23-2009
Long Island
1,790 Posts
27,901 Points
MrsMuq is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 8:07 PMBronze

Um, it is a big deal if you don't like it.

And if some of you are okay with other family members/friends/strangers touching your pregnant belly, then that's a-okay.

But it's not cool to the OP, and she has a right to not want people all up in her space rubbing her stomach.

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses." 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 4:50 PM
Lovestruck...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-08-2010
Southern California
3,004 Posts
12,129 Points
LovestruckAJ is not online. Last active: 05-13-2013, 10:56 PMSilver

I'm guilty of being a belly toucher, (obviously not to strangers), but to family,  friends & even coworkers that I'm close with. So maybe that's why it doesn't bother me at all when people do it to me.

I just thought it was funny when people were doing it before I was even showing because they thought my severe gas bloat was baby.

~a pessimist is an optimist with experience~
Photobucket

photo small_zps2fdd6ec5.jpg

TTC #1 since 10/2010
BFP 09/20/12 EDD 6/01/13
AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 5:08 PM
SkyBee
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-10-2010
3,452 Posts
14,193 Points
SkyBee is online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 5:12 AMSilver

RussianMommy:
I don't understand why women get so mad over this.

this. OP: it is your mom wanting to feel the baby bump, how horrible could it be to let your mom feel it.....geez.

I let my family feel the babies move and it is fun to see their face light up. It is really neat for people to feel like they have a connection with the baby. I can understand being annoyed if it was some random stranger in the store, but family?  
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 6:31 PM
jkkg317
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-31-2009
Missouri
1,271 Posts
6,896 Points
jkkg317 is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 12:33 PMBronze
The first time I was pregnant I really didn't care, it was mostly coworkers I was close with though. Now that my family has moved closer I find myself very uncomfortable with anyone trying to feel it, maybe it's the look on their face that creeps me out, but there are only a few people I am comfortable with touching me. 
AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 7:56 PM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
2,867 Posts
43,598 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:07 PMSilver
MrsMuq:

Um, it is a big deal if you don't like it.

And if some of you are okay with other family members/friends/strangers touching your pregnant belly, then that's a-okay.

But it's not cool to the OP, and she has a right to not want people all up in her space rubbing her stomach.

Sorry, but if you're threatening a family member with a broken limb over a belly rub you are a Class A douche.   
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:21 PM
jeremiahz_...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-31-2010
1,505 Posts
12,865 Points
jeremiahz_momma03 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 12:50 AMBronze
I hate it. I don't care who it is I don't like it I feel weird. I don't even like when my SO does it but I want him to feel something since I feel it all while pregnant so I let him. My family and friends all know this. But my SO mother though is always touching me. I want to tell her not to because I don't like it but I know that it will cause drama. That is her life drama always has and always will. So I have to suck it up and try to avoid her as much as possible. As for strangers I've been lucky and haven't had anyone come touch me and if they did I wouldn't be nice about it at all.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:33 PM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
2,867 Posts
43,598 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:07 PMSilver

jeremiahz_momma03:
As for strangers I've been lucky and haven't had anyone come touch me and if they did I wouldn't be nice about it at all.

Well, considering you call your own 13 month old DD a brat, it's not shocking that you wouldn't be nice to a stranger.   
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:41 PM
MrsMuq
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-23-2009
Long Island
1,790 Posts
27,901 Points
MrsMuq is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 8:07 PMBronze
Bliss+Berry:
MrsMuq:

Um, it is a big deal if you don't like it.

And if some of you are okay with other family members/friends/strangers touching your pregnant belly, then that's a-okay.

But it's not cool to the OP, and she has a right to not want people all up in her space rubbing her stomach.

Sorry, but if you're threatening a family member with a broken limb over a belly rub you are a Class A douche.   

I'm more inclined to believ women who think their way of going through life is the only "right" way to do things is a "grade A-douche."

Every day moms make decisions over BF vs FF, natural birth vs. c-section, SAHM vs. WM, homeschooling vs public or private school. A choice different than what you choose isn't wrong or mean someone is douchey, just different than what you would do.

And that extends to who and what touches our bodies, family or not. 

Now get down from your high and mighty cloud.

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers "The strong look for more strength; the weak look for excuses." 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 8:50 PM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
2,867 Posts
43,598 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:07 PMSilver
MrsMuq:
Bliss+Berry:
MrsMuq:

Um, it is a big deal if you don't like it.

And if some of you are okay with other family members/friends/strangers touching your pregnant belly, then that's a-okay.

But it's not cool to the OP, and she has a right to not want people all up in her space rubbing her stomach.

Sorry, but if you're threatening a family member with a broken limb over a belly rub you are a Class A douche.   

I'm more inclined to believ women who think their way of going through life is the only "right" way to do things is a "grade A-douche."

Every day moms make decisions over BF vs FF, natural birth vs. c-section, SAHM vs. WM, homeschooling vs public or private school. A choice different than what you choose isn't wrong or mean someone is douchey, just different than what you would do.

And that extends to who and what touches our bodies, family or not. 

Now get down from your high and mighty cloud.

No, its fine if you're not down with people touching your belly, but I think threatening violence against people who are just excited for you and want to feel a little connected to the pregnancy (talking family and friends here) is douchey. There's a difference between "Hey Dad, it really squicks me out when you touch my belly" and "I'll break your arm if you touch me."   Get it?
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 9:12 PM
Miranda063...
Not Ranked
Joined on 11-27-2012
13 Posts
243 Points
Miranda0630 is not online. Last active: 01-30-2013, 2:06 PMNewbie
In some countries it's suppose to be good luck. Or blessing the baby and mommy.
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-26-2012 at 10:17 PM
HK2mom4
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-13-2011
298 Posts
2,189 Points
HK2mom4 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 8:23 PMNewbie

Sounds like you need one of these too ...

 
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-27-2012 at 6:08 AM
hbrockman0...
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-25-2009
60 Posts
905 Points
hbrockman01 is not online. Last active: 05-02-2013, 1:43 PMNewbie

I Love my Dave:
I'm not into it either, they only person I don't mind is my husband.

 Same here! My MIL tried one day and I pulled away and rolled my eyes. My hubs was like don't touch her if you value your hands! I just can't stand being touched by others.

 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-27-2012 at 7:37 AM
Bliss+Berr...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-24-2012
2,867 Posts
43,598 Points
Bliss+Berry is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:07 PMSilver
hbrockman01:

I Love my Dave:
I'm not into it either, they only person I don't mind is my husband.

 Same here! My MIL tried one day and I pulled away and rolled my eyes. My hubs was like don't touch her if you value your hands! I just can't stand being touched by others.

Why not communicate that like an adult though, instead of a sullen teenager?  
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-27-2012 at 10:06 AM
pnutg
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-15-2012
2,227 Posts
40,662 Points
pnutg is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:19 PMSilver
JSS1002:
With me, it depends on WHO is touching my stomach.nbsp; DH, my parents, my brother and SIL though I don't thnik my brother would ever do that, and close friends... fine.nbsp; But if anybody else tried, I think it would make me very uncomfortable.
I dont' think people mean any harm though, I think they are trying to be sweet and excited and show your child some love.nbsp;


Agreed.
-1st BFP 5/24/12, EDD 1/25/13, MMC 6/19/12 at 8 weeks, D&C 6/29/12 -2nd BFP 9/15/12, EDD 5/20/13, Praying for a healthy baby! It's a boy! www.peanut-gallerie.blogspot.com 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
12-27-2012 at 12:19 PM
nyki06
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-02-2008
2,018 Posts
39,225 Points
nyki06 is not online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 1:03 AMSilver
I definitely feel awkward when most people touch my belly but I still don't mind it that much. I know that they are excited for me and that makes it ok to me. I do think it's important to remember that not everyone has the same life experiences. This isn't saying that everyone who doesn't want to be touched has issues, but if someone was sexually assaulted they might be uncomfortable being touched in general. I try to keep stuff like that in my mind before putting my hands on someone without them initiating. 
Zoe Jane- 2 years Marley Virginia 4-2-13 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
Page 1 of 2 (31 items)   1 2 Next >
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board

most active posters
sunlavende...
953 posts
BayleighPa...
912 posts
minicheezb...
425 posts
sheacox
382 posts
Nest Cayla
365 posts
*Mrs*Rohrb...
247 posts
Love4Labs3...
201 posts
jertie
101 posts
KimberHill...
68 posts
sarisosrWe...
50 posts

connect with these online bumpies
mnbv9502! Kristen050
BulgariHeart hollowstar
mana8503 snegde
Lyzza350 aurora1974
watermellens Angela183
UnexpectedlyExpected Butterbean412
manda10623 CTGirl30
Kimbus22 cwesleyrn
LL0122 Ajboocher
SkyBee tig594
minouvan ShannonMSW
Pink Camino Becky520
kimberlina13 alanna7777
WWMS KMa2371
lmkirby21 quidditchcapn1120
From The Nest Boards:
"Thrown under the bus …"
tiffwins on 9 to 5

"Please tell me my husband is NOT the only one …"
IDO2008 on Entertaining Ideas