The other dilemma I have is my DSD comes to visit only once a month and we have an entire play kitchen for her and separate (older kids) toys for her.
I was told when given gifts for her by the gma I couldnt send them home because we'd never see them again? This is fumigating in the back of my mouth as nasty and greedy. I am sending her kitchen home with her because she only gets to see it 2 days a month versus 28-29 days at home. I just have to learn how to nicely suggest this.
I dont pick her up or drop her off nor does my DH. So I have to convince GMA who gave it to her to take it home.
Why get upset by this? She says you'll never see the toys again. Your response? "oh that's fine because we have so little space, and it makes sense for her to have big toys at home where she can play with them all the time. Thanks so much for saving us the bother of dropping them off."
Grandma was trying to be nasty, and you can buy into her nasty, or just thank her enthusastically for the excellent solution of the kitchen set not coming back to your house.
You seem to have issues with "stuff" and what it means. You say it's ok to donate to a distant relative even though you seldom see her, like that's something special. I mean I donate to strangers all the time.
My little girls have birthdays within a few weeks of Christmas, and yes it means an explosion of stuff, but like pp said, it's easy to put stuff aside for later, or pass on the things that won't get used.
I sat down with DD1 and asked her what she'd like to donate to kids who haven't got very much. She picked out a few things that she's outgrown, and one or two things she's never touched. So we've boxed them up, and will drop them off. No big drama.