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12-27-2012 at 6:43 AM
PokerChic8...
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PokerChic85 is not online. Last active: 01-08-2013, 5:06 PMNewbie

How do you handle preggo announcements from friends/family?

I have a good friend who I only see every couple of months (we live far away from each-other). She is semi-aware of our IF issues, because of course my big mouth said we wanted kids ASAP after our wedding....and that was two years ago, although I don't really speak about it.

... Any-who, I logged onto FB this morning, and there it is, loud and clear.... Another pregnancy announcement from her... This is her 4th! She is a fabulous mother, and her children are wonderful. I'm SO happy for her, she's the type of mother I hope to be someday... It just stings to hear it. I looked at my husband and just said "WTF!". 

How do you all cope/react when friends/family announce their pregnancies? (This was an easier one b/c it's over FB and not actually face to face) Of course I'm so so so happy and excited for her, but I can't help but have a mini internal pity party...  
TTC since early 2011 “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa  
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12-27-2012 at 8:18 AM
Mrs550
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Mrs550 is not online. Last active: 12-31-2012, 12:51 PMNewbie
I just deleted my Facebook account because of a similar situation. I logged on and saw not one, not two, but three announcements in one day. I am happy for them and all, but I'm super jealous and emotionally can't handle seeing pictures of their bellies and ultrasounds. I made a comment to one of my friends about how hard it is to get pregnant. Her response was "oh wow, we weren't even trying. It was an oops". What a kick in the teeth!!
 
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12-27-2012 at 8:38 AM
MJ14323
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Sometimes I just have to tell myself to suck it up, other times I let it all out and cry away.  I think it just depends on where I am in my cycle and what else is going on.  It sucks no matter what.  I'm sorry that you are having to go through this.  Good luck!
TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 28, DH: 29 | SA & HSG Normal
IF Treatment started December 2011
Late DX DOR after 10 months of treatment | AMH-.23, FSH-11.1
Stag II Endo removed in July 2012
5 Rounds of Clomid(50-150mg), TI & IUI#1 = BFNs
3 Rounds of Femara(5mg) & Prog, TI, IUI#2, IUI#3 = BFNs
Supplements include DHEA, CoQL, L-Caratine, Vitamin C/D/B3, Fish Oil, and Prenatal
March IVF cycle canceled due to cyst
April IVF #1 - Lupron, Saizen, Menapur, Gonal-F, baby aspirin and dexamethasone | AFC 8 >> 9R, 4M, 2F w/ ICSI...looking to do PGS testing...Stopped dividing at day 3.
Retested AMH, dropped to undetectable at <.16.
Trying to decide what to do next...
Everyone Welcome
My Blog
 
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12-27-2012 at 8:41 AM
BellaLux
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MJ14323:
Sometimes I just have to tell myself to suck it up, other times I let it all out and cry away.  I think it just depends on where I am in my cycle and what else is going on.  It sucks no matter what.  I'm sorry that you are having to go through this.  Good luck!

This is exactly how I deal. I also take periodic breaks from FB if need be!
~TTC#1 Since July 2011~
Dx: 10/10 - Fibroids; 6/12 - Tubal Infertility
9/12 -IVF w/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol)=BFFN
Next: Feb 2013 -Myomectomy
S/PAIF Welcome
Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
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12-27-2012 at 10:11 AM
jadwedd
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I had one girl who I was friends with in college and had not seen in years contact me.  We hung out twice and then I did not hear from her in a year.  When she emailed me to tell me that she was having another baby and these were the things that she would need.  (hello? )  So I told her that I would be happy to go shopping with her or look at yard sales where she could find the stuff that she needed cheap.  She also told me that she needed help with her yard (now I am a landscaper?) since she is pregnant and cannot do it.  So I offered her the number of a landscaper.  Then she did not talk to me until the baby was born.  I congratulated her over email.  Then she texted me when I was waiting for the er to ask for my address (to send me a card with a pic of her kids of course - Merry christmas!)  I replied that this is my address and that I was in the dr for the IVF procedure.  To which she replied with 3 separate texts about her 2 pregnancies that had nothing to do with ivf or anything, just jad to point it out that she was pregnant twice over and over again.  Now I remember why I did not talk to her for all those years!
Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
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12-27-2012 at 12:42 PM
katekat872...
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I have been really lucky, most of my family's pregnancy announcements I hear about through my mom or through text. I have a moment to say "WTF REALLY!?!" and then compose myself and send a nice thoughtful text, lol.

My BFF told me when we were on a double date with our hubbies. Don't get me wrong I am really, really happy for her and can't wait to be the baby's godmother. But my heart was broken too. She had hid the pregnancy from me for a couple weeks because she had been there through my IF struggles and she knew how badly I wanted a baby. That one was tough, but I learned what a good actress I was that night :/

My advice is to stay off FB. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. If you hear about a pregnancy announcement send your congrats and don't feel guilty about throwing a mini internal pity party. It is totally okay to feel happy for them and sad for yourself at the same time. We're only human!

S/PAIF Welcome
Off BCP March 2010
TTC #1 since June 2011
BFP 12/10/11, M/C 12/16/11
DX: MFI - low count and lowish Testosterone, medium varicocele
July/Aug '12: 50 mg clomid + IUI#1 = BFN
Aug/Sept '12: 50 mg clomid + menopur + ovidrel + IUI#2 =BFN
Sept/Oct '12: Treatment break for vacation and to regroup
Oct/Nov '12: Natural IUI#3 - functional cyst on right side = BFN
Nov/Dec '12: Natural IUI#4 = BFFN
Dec/Jan '12: 50 mg clomid + menopur + ovidrel + IUI#5 = BFN
Jan '13: 50 mg clomid + menopur + ovidrel + IUI#6 = BFFN
Tired of all this crap. Taking a break. Plan: hubby on 50 mg clomid to try to raise count. T levels have tripled! Repeat SA in March.
My Ovulation Chart
 
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12-27-2012 at 1:16 PM
RoadToFert...
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RoadToFertility is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 5:48 PMNewbie
PokerChic85:

How do you all cope/react when friends/family announce their pregnancies? (This was an easier one b/c it's over FB and not actually face to face) Of course I'm so so so happy and excited for her, but I can't help but have a mini internal pity party...  

I find out mostly through facebook and when one of my good friends found out she was pregnant, I found out through my best friend which was much better for me. It's so much easier for me to deal with it if it's over fb because I can look at it, hide the story and that person for as long as I want, and process the information. I pretty much have hidden every person that is pregnant on facebook only because I don't need an update on the pregnancy every two seconds when I am trying so hard to be pregnant. I do congratulate them and when I see them in person I do speak to them about the pregnancy and show my excitement for them, but by then I have mentally prepared myself for it. I keep reminding myself that one day will be my day!!

Married for 3 years to the love of my life! TTC for over a year. Started seeing RE in April 2012. Lap in July revealed endo covering left ovary and part of my bowels. This will require extensive surgery by a specialist. RE wants us to have babies first because surgery could compromise my ability to carry. Started first round of IVF in August. Ten follies retrieved, eight fertilized, two frosties. IVF #1= C/P *Frozen Embie Transfer scheduled for end of Nov/Dec. Going to transfer 2 frosties if all goes according to plan*
FET # 1 [12/18]: Transferred two "beautiful" embies.
Beta # 1: 126 [BFP!]
Beta # 2: 546
Beta #3: 1618!!
Beta # 4 - 4954!!!!!! Ultrasound 1/18 - Two heartbeats at 121 and 136. Fraternal twins! Um, is this really happening?!
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Our Road to Fertility (My blog)

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12-27-2012 at 1:31 PM
xtina78
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xtina78 is not online. Last active: 05-13-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie

I also don't go on FB any more. Just too too painful hearing the play by plays of everyone's pregnancy and then all the baby pictures. The worst for me is people complaining about pregnancy ie, "Oh I hate being so fat" etc.

I feel like I'm taking announcements harder and harder. If its to my face I say congratulations and try to at least appear happy, and then get away ASAP. I feel bad about this, but self-preservation is important. I have also told my sister and one of my close friends (who already has one baby) to give me a warning when they start TTC so I am not blindsided. Blindsided is tough.

Me - 34. DH - 39. TTC #1 since 9/2010. IUI #3 2/3/13 + progesterone. BFP on HPT 2/17/13. Beta #1 2/19/13 = 61.9. Beta #2 2/22/13 = 71 Beta #3 77 - C/P  
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12-27-2012 at 2:28 PM
dimples128
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dimples128 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 12:38 PMBronze
I usually remove them from my feed if its someone I'm not particularly close with after they post. There is no way to completely avoid it but that seems to help.
TTC #1 - June '10 dx - LPD,2% Morph
Los Angeles, CA
IUI #1 BFN
IUI #2 Ectopic. 2 MTX dosages = left tube blocked.
IVF #1 11/17: Long Lupron 12/6: started stims. ER: 12/19 half ICSI ET: 12/24
12 retrieved, 6 fertilized, 2 transferred, 3 frozen
It worked! 1/2 Beta #1: 151 Beta #2: 354
One little bean EDD: 9/9/13
SAIF/PAIFW
BabyFruit Ticker 
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12-27-2012 at 3:55 PM
JGior1031
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JGior1031 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 2:38 PMBronze

I always handle it well to others and do the "OMG Im so excited for you!!" and put on a big happy smile.......

And then I go home.....and have my melt down! lol! DH has learned to pour me a glass of wine, order chinese and just snuggle me until the crying stops (usually about 15min or so)  then I drink my wine (or two or three), eat my chinese and kiss and hug my DH and tell him how much I love him!

I need that 15 min of crying and self pitty inorder to pick myself back up and move on!

IF is the hardest thing EVER and it deserves at least 2-3 mini meltdowns/internal pity parties a week! LMAO! Party!!!


Boscorelli AKA "Bosco"
Me: 30 DH: 34 DX: Severe MFI 2 failed IUI's
Starting our IVF journey Jan/Feb '13
IVF #1 ER 2/11/13- Retrieved 3 eggs and all 3 Fertilized!
ET 2/14/13 Transfered 2 perfect 8 cell (one Grade A one Grade AB) Come on Valentines Baby!!!
Positive HPT on 2/22/13!!!! BFP!!!
2/25/13 Beta #1 474 @ 11dp3dt
2/27/13 Beta #2 1553 @ 13dp3dt
EDD November 4th, 2013!!!
1st Ultrasound 3/6/13 showed 2 beautiful sacs!! IT'S TWINS!!!!!!
2nd ultrasound 3/15/13 We heard the heartbeats!! Baby A 117bpm & Baby B 115bpm

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12-27-2012 at 5:50 PM
LuClo
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LuClo is online. Last active: 05-21-2013, 8:15 PMBronze

Keep a bottle of wine by the computer for facebook announcements. 

And one beside the phone for calls.

Another by the front door for shower invitations or the cute blue and pink photo cards.

And a nip in your purse for any in-person sneak attacks.

I'm starting to think that someone should do a study on the correlation between IF and my budding alcoholism.

TTC since August 2010
DH diagnosed with Azoospermia in January 2012
Vas reconstruction surgery in April 2012; unsuccessful
IVF with ICSI February 2013; single blastocyst 5dt
First beta March 1 is 147!!!

 
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