Can you go to Planned Parenthood in the meantime at least to get checked?

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/findCenter.asp?z=Zip+Code&s=ME&go.x=27&go.y=1 

Give these guys a call.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/findCenter.asp?s=ME

 They're probably going to be in the best position to discuss options with you. 

mortalandpester:

The nearest Planned Parenthood is more than eighty miles away. There is a Family Planning in town, Penquis, but when I called them they told me I needed some kind of coverage to get an appointment, just like all the doctors offices that I've called have said.

80 miles is under 2 hours each way.  That's about the distance I drive for my fertility appts.  Being pregnant or trying to get pregnant definitely isn't convenient but the medical care is important.  Good luck! 

mortalandpester:

The nearest Planned Parenthood is more than eighty miles away. There is a Family Planning in town, Penquis, but when I called them they told me I needed some kind of coverage to get an appointment, just like all the doctors offices that I've called have said.

80 miles is under 2 hours each way.  That's about the distance I drive for my fertility appts.  Being pregnant or trying to get pregnant definitely isn't convenient but the medical care is important.  Good luck! 

mortalandpester:

The nearest Planned Parenthood is more than eighty miles away. There is a Family Planning in town, Penquis, but when I called them they told me I needed some kind of coverage to get an appointment, just like all the doctors offices that I've called have said.

mortalandpester:

The nearest Planned Parenthood is more than eighty miles away. There is a Family Planning in town, Penquis, but when I called them they told me I needed some kind of coverage to get an appointment, just like all the doctors offices that I've called have said.

Really - no one will give a cash quote?

mortalandpester:

I thought about that. I have a car, but without a job I have no way to put enough gas in my tank to make a nearly-four-hour round trip.

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

etoille:

mortalandpester:

I thought about that. I have a car, but without a job I have no way to put enough gas in my tank to make a nearly-four-hour round trip.

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

etoille:

mortalandpester:

I thought about that. I have a car, but without a job I have no way to put enough gas in my tank to make a nearly-four-hour round trip.

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

Maybe I am making too many assumptions here, but wouldn't gas be like $25-$35 round trip?  Can you ask a friend or family member to help you out? 

anvloveskme:

etoille:

mortalandpester:

I thought about that. I have a car, but without a job I have no way to put enough gas in my tank to make a nearly-four-hour round trip.

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

Maybe I am making too many assumptions here, but wouldn't gas be like $25-$35 round trip?  Can you ask a friend or family member to help you out? 

This was kind of what I was thinking. I'm trying to figure out a non b!tchy way of typing out "if you can't afford 40 bucks in gas how do you expect to be able to pay the doctor?"

etoille:

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

I spent the previous two years taking care of my father up to his death, and then a bit of time looking for a new job. My savings, such as they were, got eaten up then.

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

So far he's putting a roof over my head (I was sharing a house with friends, but moved out after I lost my job so they could find a new roommate who had a job) and feeding me... he has a decent job but a lot of debt. (I'm not positive about this, but from what he understands, even if we were married, I wouldn't be able to go on his insurance. He works for a very small company, is one of only two employees, and his employer can't afford to insure additional family members. I don't know anything about how that works, so we could be wrong on that.) Ideally, I will be able to find a new job sooner rather than later. It's possible that he can lend me the money for the trip, but I hesitate to think how long 166 miles round-trip is going to take with bathroom and snack breaks.

mortalandpester:

etoille:

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

I spent the previous two years taking care of my father up to his death, and then a bit of time looking for a new job. My savings, such as they were, got eaten up then.

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

So far he's putting a roof over my head (I was sharing a house with friends, but moved out after I lost my job so they could find a new roommate who had a job) and feeding me... he has a decent job but a lot of debt. (I'm not positive about this, but from what he understands, even if we were married, I wouldn't be able to go on his insurance. He works for a very small company, is one of only two employees, and his employer can't afford to insure additional family members. I don't know anything about how that works, so we could be wrong on that.) Ideally, I will be able to find a new job sooner rather than later. It's possible that he can lend me the money for the trip, but I hesitate to think how long 166 miles round-trip is going to take with bathroom and snack breaks.

So now the problem is that the trip is just long. Got it.

Completely understand. G/L.

Laters.

mortalandpester:

etoille:

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

I spent the previous two years taking care of my father up to his death, and then a bit of time looking for a new job. My savings, such as they were, got eaten up then.

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

So far he's putting a roof over my head (I was sharing a house with friends, but moved out after I lost my job so they could find a new roommate who had a job) and feeding me... he has a decent job but a lot of debt. (I'm not positive about this, but from what he understands, even if we were married, I wouldn't be able to go on his insurance. He works for a very small company, is one of only two employees, and his employer can't afford to insure additional family members. I don't know anything about how that works, so we could be wrong on that.) Ideally, I will be able to find a new job sooner rather than later. It's possible that he can lend me the money for the trip, but I hesitate to think how long 166 miles round-trip is going to take with bathroom and snack breaks.

Not trying to sound like an ass but this is step 1 in sacrificing for your child.  It's going to come up a lot and if you can't spend even an entire day driving to an appointment when you don't even have to miss work to do it, this is going to be a long road.  I'm honestly sorry that you're struggling and hope you can get it worked out soon but $40 in gas and dread over a long drive shouldn't be what's keeping you from a prenatal appointment if you have no other options. 

mortalandpester:

etoille:

Yikes.  I don't mean to be debbie downer here but....you had no savings reserves whatsoever?  (Not even like a few months since you just got laid off like a month ago?).

I spent the previous two years taking care of my father up to his death, and then a bit of time looking for a new job. My savings, such as they were, got eaten up then.

Even with insurance and state assistance....you may want to start thinking how you're going to pay for things in general over the next 8 months.  (I'm guessing that you're not married otherwise you could have gotten coverage from your husbands insurance...assuming he was employed?)

Which brings up a good question....is the baby's father able to help pay for this?

So far he's putting a roof over my head (I was sharing a house with friends, but moved out after I lost my job so they could find a new roommate who had a job) and feeding me... he has a decent job but a lot of debt. (I'm not positive about this, but from what he understands, even if we were married, I wouldn't be able to go on his insurance. He works for a very small company, is one of only two employees, and his employer can't afford to insure additional family members. I don't know anything about how that works, so we could be wrong on that.) Ideally, I will be able to find a new job sooner rather than later. It's possible that he can lend me the money for the trip, but I hesitate to think how long 166 miles round-trip is going to take with bathroom and snack breaks.

It's going to take like 2.5-3 hours tops (maybe 4 hrs including the appointment! I don't really understand the hesitation here..and why you'd need "snack breaks"..if you're not working, what does 3 hours out of your day to get yourself checked out hurt?

mortalandpester:

Sorry... I guess I'm the only one who doesn't feel comfy/isn't used to making that kind of trip by myself? I will do it if I have to, but I was sort of hoping someone had some kind of comforting words or suggestions of other routes I could take to find a provider closer to home. I'm really not used to traveling more than an hour at a time, and that's without someone sitting on my bladder, haha.

Seriously, if this is your only option, suck it up and take it. I don't really get the not feeling "comfortable" driving by yourself in order to take care of the child you are bringing into the world...I get the frequent urination thing...but the olive sized baby you have inside of you isn't really "sitting" on your bladder at this point.

EDIT: Also..pee breaks take 5 minutes...so even if you stop twice each way thats nly 20 minutes extra

mortalandpester:

Sorry... I guess I'm the only one who doesn't feel comfy/isn't used to making that kind of trip by myself? I will do it if I have to, but I was sort of hoping someone had some kind of comforting words or suggestions of other routes I could take to find a provider closer to home. I'm really not used to traveling more than an hour at a time, and that's without someone sitting on my bladder, haha.

If I were 7-8 months pregnant, I might be a wuss and not want to make the trip on my own, but if it is a choice between having prenatal care/check prior to 15+ weeks and driving alone for a few hours, I don't really think it is much of a choice at all.  I am not trying to flame, but it seems like you came her venting and asking for some possible solutions and everything mentioned by everyone seems inconvenient or impossible to do.  Sounds like it is time to suck it up here.  Also, it is your BFs kid too - why would he "lend" you the money to get pre-natal care. 

mortalandpester:

Sorry... I guess I'm the only one who doesn't feel comfy/isn't used to making that kind of trip by myself? I will do it if I have to, but I was sort of hoping someone had some kind of comforting words or suggestions of other routes I could take to find a provider closer to home. I'm really not used to traveling more than an hour at a time, and that's without someone sitting on my bladder, haha.

You're 9 weeks pregnant. No one is "sitting" on your bladder. Get in the car and go. Take a snack with you.

Good luck. 

anvloveskme:

mortalandpester:

Sorry... I guess I'm the only one who doesn't feel comfy/isn't used to making that kind of trip by myself? I will do it if I have to, but I was sort of hoping someone had some kind of comforting words or suggestions of other routes I could take to find a provider closer to home. I'm really not used to traveling more than an hour at a time, and that's without someone sitting on my bladder, haha.

If I were 7-8 months pregnant, I might be a wuss and not want to make the trip on my own, but if it is a choice between having prenatal care/check prior to 15+ weeks and driving alone for a few hours, I don't really think it is much of a choice at all.  I am not trying to flame, but it seems like you came her venting and asking for some possible solutions and everything mentioned by everyone seems inconvenient or impossible to do.  Sounds like it is time to suck it up here.  Also, it is your BFs kid too - why would he "lend" you the money to get pre-natal care. 

This. Seriously, it's his kid too. There is no "lend" when it comes to taking care of his own kid.

To me, it seems like you are coming off with excuses in reading your response.

Are things hard for you with no jobs, no savings and pregnancy ? Absolutely

Do you seem hell bent upon making sure you do the best for your baby given your situation ? Not Really.

Here is what I would do if I were you and for me there would be no ANDS/BUTS

Call Planned Parenthood and understand what they can do for you on the phone before you go. Also make sure you understand what paperwork they need to make sure you are unemployed and qualify for their services free. 

If you are living with your bf then have him drive you him picking up the gas money cost should be a given. If that seems hard barter it for a birthday /anniversary present. If he is letting you live and have food then he seems generous enough to drive you to the appointment. 

If you have no money, find a helping/ cleaning/baby sitting gig you will need some money regardless of your job situation if you are pregnant and have nothing.

Confide in a family member or friend that can help with some of the small things.

If you are a member of a church then see if they can do some important things for you.

Get rid of some of the victim mentality that may be setting in and instead motivate yourself to explore every free/low cost alternative available even if it requires being a little creative or going out of your convenience zone.

 Good luck! Have a H&H9

mortalandpester:

Sorry... I guess I'm the only one who doesn't feel comfy/isn't used to making that kind of trip by myself? I will do it if I have to, but I was sort of hoping someone had some kind of comforting words or suggestions of other routes I could take to find a provider closer to home. I'm really not used to traveling more than an hour at a time, and that's without someone sitting on my bladder, haha.

JilllyBean:

Sounds like you need to do some major thinking about how you are going to care for and provide for this baby. Babies are expensive, even with insurance. If you aren't willing to commit to driving to get prenatal care and don't have the money for gas, I am questioning how you will be able to provide for the baby even after it is born. I would do some serious thinking here. 

I was thinking this. One trip for my DS for diapers, wipes, and whatever else he needs always exceeds the cost of gas money. Not to mention, childcare, medical expenses, and everything else that comes with having a child.

And just an FYI, it doesn't get easier when they arrive. I have made plenty of late night runs across town to find 24-hour CVS stores for unplanned events that come with the territory of motherhood. Just something to think about.

ramy3695:

mortalandpester:

Sorry... I guess I'm the only one who doesn't feel comfy/isn't used to making that kind of trip by myself? I will do it if I have to, but I was sort of hoping someone had some kind of comforting words or suggestions of other routes I could take to find a provider closer to home. I'm really not used to traveling more than an hour at a time, and that's without someone sitting on my bladder, haha.

You're 9 weeks pregnant. No one is "sitting" on your bladder. Get in the car and go. Take a snack with you.

Good luck. 

this exactly.