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12-27-2012 at 4:14 PM
JGior1031
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The joys of a fertile, "Knows it all" SIL!- Opinions please :)

Somedays I am just not sure if I can deal with my SIL!!!!! I have never in my life met a more bossy, bitchy, know it all pain in my @ss person!!!  She got pregnant with both of her daughters "by accident" and never had to TTC so she has zero idea what its like to TTC or be infertile.

So 2weeks ago my MIL was telling DH and I that DH's cousin and his wife were having trouble TTC #2 (they have been trying for 2 years) and they were going to a fertility dr.  About 3 days later DH saw his cousin and said something to him about our IF issues and his cousin said "Oh your mom didnt tell you, we are 3 months pregnant!" 

So Christmas day I said to my MIL "BTW Lauren and Mike are pregnant!!! I guess you didnt know yet.  Im so glad for them".  To which my MIL replies, "I knew, I just didnt want to tell you and I thought you would feel better if you knew others were having trouble too."  I was pissed off but I understood her reasoning behind it and just decided to let it go and told her Thank you for thinking of me.

Well........... In walks my pain in the @ss SIL and her big mouth.  She proceedes to say to me..." You know Jenn its really not fair to us that we have to tip toe around telling you that other family members are pregnant.  You should be happy for others and get over yourself.  Just because someone else gets pregnant does not mean that they TOOK your baby from you.  There is not a definite number of babies concieved.  You'll get your turn.  Maybe if you stop being so negative and jealous it will happen for you."

My first instinct was to just hit her!!! (In my head I did! lol!)  I couldnt even respond.  I didnt know what to say and I knew if I opened my mouth I would just sob uncontrolably.  I have never once said that bc someone else got pregnant that they "took" my baby nor have I ever thought that.  I have never been jealous of others pregnancies, but I have been envious because I wish that so much for DH and I.

I told DH and he said I should put his sister in her place and say something.  But Im torn.  DH doesnt want to get involved but I feel that its his sister and he should stick up for me and put her in her place with me.  I know that this will cause WW3 because my SIL can do no wrong and Im sure my MIL will take her side and of course I will come out looking like the Evil IF Witch. 

Im thinking maybe I shouldnt even say anything to her.  The time has past and it is very very apparent that she does not understand IF or how it feels so I doubt she will get it anyway.

What would you do?


Boscorelli AKA "Bosco"
Me: 30 DH: 34 DX: Severe MFI 2 failed IUI's
Starting our IVF journey Jan/Feb '13
IVF #1 ER 2/11/13- Retrieved 3 eggs and all 3 Fertilized!
ET 2/14/13 Transfered 2 perfect 8 cell (one Grade A one Grade AB) Come on Valentines Baby!!!
Positive HPT on 2/22/13!!!! BFP!!!
2/25/13 Beta #1 474 @ 11dp3dt
2/27/13 Beta #2 1553 @ 13dp3dt
EDD November 4th, 2013!!!
1st Ultrasound 3/6/13 showed 2 beautiful sacs!! IT'S TWINS!!!!!!
2nd ultrasound 3/15/13 We heard the heartbeats!! Baby A 117bpm & Baby B 115bpm

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12-27-2012 at 4:26 PM
megs3084
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Gosh that's a tough one.  I'm sorry you're in that position.  I had my DHs aunt give me a hard time last weekend, but she doesn't know about our IF so I tried to tell myself that I couldn't be mad.  I still think I'll FB her & explain though.  As for your situation, If you really feel you need to say something to her, then do it.  Just make sure it's not out of anger so it doesnt start WW3.  Explaining that you don't think they took your baby etc might be helpful so she understands how you feel and how painful IF is.  Maybe if she understood, then she'd realize why it's important to be sensitive to other people's feelings.  The only part that bothers me is that your D is telling YOU to address this.  I think if this is his family, that he should be helping the situation, not just telling you to let her have it.  Just my opinion though. 

"Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
"She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time." The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Me:28 DH:28 TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR
Feb'12- Clomid/TI with CD3 &21 labs(normal)& SA-count 6mil/ml,morph/motil OK-BFN
April'12 Ultrasounds,HSG -clear, slight acurate uterus
5/14 IUI #1-50 mg clomid-post wash total motile count 19.3 prometrium 2dpiui= BFN
6/11-IUI #2-100 mg clomid & prometrium post wash count total motile 17.5 = BFN
7/6 IUI#3 with 100 mg clomid, estridiol, prometrium. post wash total motile count 23.3 = BFN
8/30IVF#1 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur,Ganerelix,Novarel.
ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F.
ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
IVF#2 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur, Ganerelix, Novarel, Baby Aspirin
ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
2/13- Saline sono revealed a polyp. All additional labwork coming back normal. Genetic screen revealed DH has MTHFR deficiency & I am a carrier for it.
3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy
3/27 Began working with Reproductive Immunologist Dr. Kwak-Kim. Found High NK cells, High DHEAs, slight hypothyroidism, tendency toward blood clots (High PAI-1)Began synthroid & metformin 4/19.
Cycling in July

Here Comes the Sun Blog
PAIF/SAIF welcome! 
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12-27-2012 at 4:28 PM
jadwedd
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I would pitch a hissy fit like he has never seen to my husband.  Things about it being his family and he should defend me, blah blah blah.  I have had this hissy fit with him.  And tell him that he should say that you never said anything about it because you are too classy but he heard about it and needed to say something.  So you don't sound like a witch.  I did this over the in laws bringing the dog which I am allergic to on Christmas and they angrily left the dog at home.  My sil was a witch all day and said I was sick for having a pic of the embies (she had ivf so I don't understand why she would say that).  Anyway you should not have to endure that and it took years for me to get my husband to start standing up for me so I know how you feel. He should get in the middle, he should be right in the middle defending you - it is his family.  Or he should make it so you do not have to see her.  For example, my mil is a witch and I told him that he was not allowed to leave me alone with her - ever.  So if I went to the bathroom and she followed he had to wait around outside the bathroom (she likes to attack right outside the bathroom).  Anyway, I am rambling, tell your husband that you should not be treated like that, he should either defend you, or be prepared for you to unleash years of anger and ivf medications all over her a$$ and he can't say a word about it!
Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
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12-27-2012 at 4:37 PM
JGior1031
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megs3084:
Gosh that's a tough one.  I'm sorry you're in that position.  I had my DHs aunt give me a hard time last weekend, but she doesn't know about our IF so I tried to tell myself that I couldn't be mad.  I still think I'll FB her & explain though.  As for your situation, If you really feel you need to say something to her, then do it.  Just make sure it's not out of anger so it doesnt start WW3.  Explaining that you don't think they took your baby etc might be helpful so she understands how you feel and how painful IF is.  Maybe if she understood, then she'd realize why it's important to be sensitive to other people's feelings.  The only part that bothers me is that your D is telling YOU to address this.  I think if this is his family, that he should be helping the situation, not just telling you to let her have it.  Just my opinion though. 

My thoughts exactly!! I feel that while she said it to me it is HIS sister and he shoudl take the lead on it because its his family.  If it was my family I would take the lead.

I think my anger and hurt is why I want to say something but Im not sure it will do me any good, make me feel better or get her to understand. 

I guess somethings might be better left unsaid.  I cant fix her stupidity and Im sure it will only make me feel worse.

Thank you!!!Big Smile


Boscorelli AKA "Bosco"
Me: 30 DH: 34 DX: Severe MFI 2 failed IUI's
Starting our IVF journey Jan/Feb '13
IVF #1 ER 2/11/13- Retrieved 3 eggs and all 3 Fertilized!
ET 2/14/13 Transfered 2 perfect 8 cell (one Grade A one Grade AB) Come on Valentines Baby!!!
Positive HPT on 2/22/13!!!! BFP!!!
2/25/13 Beta #1 474 @ 11dp3dt
2/27/13 Beta #2 1553 @ 13dp3dt
EDD November 4th, 2013!!!
1st Ultrasound 3/6/13 showed 2 beautiful sacs!! IT'S TWINS!!!!!!
2nd ultrasound 3/15/13 We heard the heartbeats!! Baby A 117bpm & Baby B 115bpm

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12-27-2012 at 4:40 PM
J&D2007
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So. I have a real awful SIL, too, but yours takes the cake. In all honesty, I wouldn't do anything. I think maybe the time has passed for this round. I personally wouldn't involve your DH, I think that would be awkward for him. I would, however, have a really good retort next time she says anything to you and just try to avoid her idiocy as much as possible. I really don't think explaining or talking to people that are that ignorant does any good. I would just say something like 'I would prefer not to talk to you about that subject' if she brings up anything related to IF or babies, etc.. GL with the wench.

Me: 35, DH: 36, ttc: 3+ years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid med & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s,
1/12: D&C,
6/12 IUI #1: clomid, 5 mature follicles, excellent sperm,= BFN,
7/12: IUI #2: clomid, 3 mature follicles, excellent sperm= BFN,
8/12: IUi #3: clomid, 5 follicles, = BFP!, C/P
10/12 IVF #1: FSH 5.4, estradiol AFC: 14, long Lupron 150/bravelle75,5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast and 1 8 cell transferred. No frosties. BFN
IVF #2: AFC 21, MD lupron 12/25, 225bravelle/150men, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast BFN
IVF #3: natural start antagon, starting 3/30, ER 4/11, 12R,11M,10F
.
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12-27-2012 at 4:44 PM
JGior1031
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jadwedd:
I would pitch a hissy fit like he has never seen to my husband.  Things about it being his family and he should defend me, blah blah blah.  I have had this hissy fit with him.  And tell him that he should say that you never said anything about it because you are too classy but he heard about it and needed to say something.  So you don't sound like a witch.  I did this over the in laws bringing the dog which I am allergic to on Christmas and they angrily left the dog at home.  My sil was a witch all day and said I was sick for having a pic of the embies (she had ivf so I don't understand why she would say that).  Anyway you should not have to endure that and it took years for me to get my husband to start standing up for me so I know how you feel. He should get in the middle, he should be right in the middle defending you - it is his family.  Or he should make it so you do not have to see her.  For example, my mil is a witch and I told him that he was not allowed to leave me alone with her - ever.  So if I went to the bathroom and she followed he had to wait around outside the bathroom (she likes to attack right outside the bathroom).  Anyway, I am rambling, tell your husband that you should not be treated like that, he should either defend you, or be prepared for you to unleash years of anger and ivf medications all over her a$$ and he can't say a word about it!

LMAO!!! I love love love your rambling!! Big Smile 

And I am so sorry for you that your SIL is such a witch and told you that it was sick to have a pic of your embies!! You went through a lot for those enbies and you show them off to whom ever you want!!! They are gorgeous by the way!

Im afraid that if I dont say something now to her that I will when Im on the IVF meds and I will loose me mind on her! LOL!! That my be the best senario bc then I can just blame it on the meds! HAHA!

I know DH hates fighting with his sister because there is no winning with her and she is ruthless and relentless but GD this was Soooooooo out of line. 

I am going to talk to him again tonight and if he still wont get involved I will take your advice and pitch a hissy fit like he has never seen before!



Boscorelli AKA "Bosco"
Me: 30 DH: 34 DX: Severe MFI 2 failed IUI's
Starting our IVF journey Jan/Feb '13
IVF #1 ER 2/11/13- Retrieved 3 eggs and all 3 Fertilized!
ET 2/14/13 Transfered 2 perfect 8 cell (one Grade A one Grade AB) Come on Valentines Baby!!!
Positive HPT on 2/22/13!!!! BFP!!!
2/25/13 Beta #1 474 @ 11dp3dt
2/27/13 Beta #2 1553 @ 13dp3dt
EDD November 4th, 2013!!!
1st Ultrasound 3/6/13 showed 2 beautiful sacs!! IT'S TWINS!!!!!!
2nd ultrasound 3/15/13 We heard the heartbeats!! Baby A 117bpm & Baby B 115bpm

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12-27-2012 at 4:49 PM
JGior1031
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J&D2007:
So. I have a real awful SIL, too, but yours takes the cake. In all honesty, I wouldn't do anything. I think maybe the time has passed for this round. I personally wouldn't involve your DH, I think that would be awkward for him. I would, however, have a really good retort next time she says anything to you and just try to avoid her idiocy as much as possible. I really don't think explaining or talking to people that are that ignorant does any good. I would just say something like 'I would prefer not to talk to you about that subject' if she brings up anything related to IF or babies, etc.. GL with the wench.

 

Thank you! Big Smile

She really is a wench! LOL! I am an only child so dealing with "sibling" relationships is new to me but this is just ridiculous.  I swear she gets worse everytime I see her!

She thinks bc she did research on the internet she knows everything about infertility and IVF w/ICSI.   You should have heard her speach to me about Selective Reduction.............. She is a real piece of work.


Boscorelli AKA "Bosco"
Me: 30 DH: 34 DX: Severe MFI 2 failed IUI's
Starting our IVF journey Jan/Feb '13
IVF #1 ER 2/11/13- Retrieved 3 eggs and all 3 Fertilized!
ET 2/14/13 Transfered 2 perfect 8 cell (one Grade A one Grade AB) Come on Valentines Baby!!!
Positive HPT on 2/22/13!!!! BFP!!!
2/25/13 Beta #1 474 @ 11dp3dt
2/27/13 Beta #2 1553 @ 13dp3dt
EDD November 4th, 2013!!!
1st Ultrasound 3/6/13 showed 2 beautiful sacs!! IT'S TWINS!!!!!!
2nd ultrasound 3/15/13 We heard the heartbeats!! Baby A 117bpm & Baby B 115bpm

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12-27-2012 at 4:49 PM
teachergur...
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OMG I am so sorry that happened to you. I would definitely say something to her and I feel your husband should as well. Some people should keep their mouths shut. This summer my husbands SIL told me that infertility was God's natural selection, weeding out people who shouldn't be parents. She said God was all knowing and just knows when it's meant to be and you shouldn't mess with his ultimate plan. I said "well if thats his ultimate plan then how come he gave man the intelligence to create reproductive medicine? Why are their reproductive doctors?" 

I understand people's conviction to religion, I am religious myself but I am also a realist. God gave us science and medicine to help ourselves.  But it kills when people bring God into medicine and try to use religion as the be all, end all. I am quite sure my SIL would have felt differently if she had difficulty conceiving ( she has 3 healthy boys). Its so easy for others to be pious when they don't have to struggle.

Good luck and I hope you get to say something.
 
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12-27-2012 at 4:50 PM
jenn0620
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Wow.. I don't even know what I would say! My SIL is super fertile and really doesn't get our issues and our blow up fights weren't this bad. I agree with pp and think your husband should say something since it is his sister. I'm really sorry you are dealing with this, I had a blow up with my SIL married to DH's brother right before vacation and no one took my side my MIL was just worried I would ruin the family vacation so I know how that part feels. Again I'm sorry you are dealing with this!
Anniversary
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Trying for a baby since 4/10
DX: Infertile 6/11 Me: LPD, all other blood work clear. May/ 2013 Egg maturity and quality issues.. DH: low sperm motility,low count.
Met with RE start clomid + TI + IUI 5/12= IUI cancelled due to positive Cystic Fibrosis carrier test. DH tested Neg. for Cystic Fibrosis,
6/12 Clomid + TI +IUI=BFN 8/10 IVF consult.
IVF #1 Started BCP 9/2 Lupron 10/11 stims 10/27 ER 11/6!! 5 eggs retreived only 1 mature. FERT report shows none made it.Cancelled cycle.
IVF #2 BCP 11/18 Lupron 12/14
Stims start 12/29 ER 1/8 ET 1/11 put in 1 grade B and 1 grade C. Beta: 1/20=BFN
Second opinion at new clinic TBD
decided to stick with old clinic with new plan.
5/3 started metformin for IVF # 3 set to start in July!!!
Everyone Welcome! 
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12-27-2012 at 4:52 PM
JGior1031
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teachergurl2002:

OMG I am so sorry that happened to you. I would definitely say something to her and I feel your husband should as well. Some people should keep their mouths shut. This summer my husbands SIL told me that infertility was God's natural selection, weeding out people who shouldn't be parents. She said God was all knowing and just knows when it's meant to be and you shouldn't mess with his ultimate plan. I said "well if thats his ultimate plan then how come he gave man the intelligence to create reproductive medicine? Why are their reproductive doctors?" 

I understand people's conviction to religion, I am religious myself but I am also a realist. God gave us science and medicine to help ourselves.  But it kills when people bring God into medicine and try to use religion as the be all, end all. I am quite sure my SIL would have felt differently if she had difficulty conceiving ( she has 3 healthy boys). Its so easy for others to be pious when they don't have to struggle.

Good luck and I hope you get to say something.

OMG your SIL is horrible!! I am so very sorry that she said that to you! That is probably the most awful and disgusting this one woman can say to another.  Good for you for not knocking her @ss out right there and then.  I dont think I would have been able to control myself for that comment.


Boscorelli AKA "Bosco"
Me: 30 DH: 34 DX: Severe MFI 2 failed IUI's
Starting our IVF journey Jan/Feb '13
IVF #1 ER 2/11/13- Retrieved 3 eggs and all 3 Fertilized!
ET 2/14/13 Transfered 2 perfect 8 cell (one Grade A one Grade AB) Come on Valentines Baby!!!
Positive HPT on 2/22/13!!!! BFP!!!
2/25/13 Beta #1 474 @ 11dp3dt
2/27/13 Beta #2 1553 @ 13dp3dt
EDD November 4th, 2013!!!
1st Ultrasound 3/6/13 showed 2 beautiful sacs!! IT'S TWINS!!!!!!
2nd ultrasound 3/15/13 We heard the heartbeats!! Baby A 117bpm & Baby B 115bpm

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12-27-2012 at 5:36 PM
jadwedd
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I hate it when people bring God into it.  But when they are sick they go to the doctor, isn't it God's will that they be sick?  Where exactly is the line between God and medicine stop?  Oh yeah exactly where it is convenient for them to judge others!  Last time I checked the Bible says judge not lest ye be judged.  Uggh don't get me started on the religious aspect with all this progesterone in me! 
Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
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12-27-2012 at 5:54 PM
RoadToFert...
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Wow. Just wow. What an insensitive SIL. I would definitely insist that my husband speak to his sister but if he continued to refuse I think I would talk to her myself. People don't know what IF is like until they have walked in our shoes...her comment was waaaaay out of line and I give you credit for not telling her off right then and there. Without a doubt though, I would let her know that her comments are absolutely unacceptable, rude, insensitive, and not something you plan on tolerating. If she can't be controlled, I would avoid being at events that she is going to be present at because you can only take so much. I still can't get over her ignorance.
Married for 3 years to the love of my life! TTC for over a year. Started seeing RE in April 2012. Lap in July revealed endo covering left ovary and part of my bowels. This will require extensive surgery by a specialist. RE wants us to have babies first because surgery could compromise my ability to carry. Started first round of IVF in August. Ten follies retrieved, eight fertilized, two frosties. IVF #1= C/P *Frozen Embie Transfer scheduled for end of Nov/Dec. Going to transfer 2 frosties if all goes according to plan*
FET # 1 [12/18]: Transferred two "beautiful" embies.
Beta # 1: 126 [BFP!]
Beta # 2: 546
Beta #3: 1618!!
Beta # 4 - 4954!!!!!! Ultrasound 1/18 - Two heartbeats at 121 and 136. Fraternal twins! Um, is this really happening?!
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Our Road to Fertility (My blog)

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12-27-2012 at 6:12 PM
BellaLux
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Geez, what an insensitive jerk! Yeah I get most people will never understand what we go through, but there is a such thing called empathy and tact. Your DH really needs to have a long serious chat with her!
~TTC#1 Since July 2011~
Dx: 10/10 - Fibroids; 6/12 - Tubal Infertility
9/12 -IVF w/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol)=BFFN
Next: Feb 2013 -Myomectomy
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12-27-2012 at 7:21 PM
teachergur...
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JGior1031:
teachergurl2002:

OMG I am so sorry that happened to you. I would definitely say something to her and I feel your husband should as well. Some people should keep their mouths shut. This summer my husbands SIL told me that infertility was God's natural selection, weeding out people who shouldn't be parents. She said God was all knowing and just knows when it's meant to be and you shouldn't mess with his ultimate plan. I said "well if thats his ultimate plan then how come he gave man the intelligence to create reproductive medicine? Why are their reproductive doctors?" 

I understand people's conviction to religion, I am religious myself but I am also a realist. God gave us science and medicine to help ourselves.  But it kills when people bring God into medicine and try to use religion as the be all, end all. I am quite sure my SIL would have felt differently if she had difficulty conceiving ( she has 3 healthy boys). Its so easy for others to be pious when they don't have to struggle.

Good luck and I hope you get to say something.

OMG your SIL is horrible!! I am so very sorry that she said that to you! That is probably the most awful and disgusting this one woman can say to another.  Good for you for not knocking her @ss out right there and then.  I dont think I would have been able to control myself for that comment.

LOL...thanks...I cant stand her. She's a witch and doesnt like me for various reasons...but oh well...can you tell I really care? I just cant wait to tell her how we concieved when we finally do....and I will be doing it with a big ole smile on my face!! I ALWAYS get the last word.
 
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12-27-2012 at 8:16 PM
firesiren
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firesiren is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 9:31 PMBronze
What a hateful person.  I would never ever speak to her again.  You do not need that in your life.  She sounds horrible.  I won't tell you what I would do but I'm pretty grouchy when it comes to IF.  Good Luck!
Me; 35 DH 32 TTC for over 2 years First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN Switching RE IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH! BFN IVF#3 Chemical... FML. 2 frosties. SAIF/PAIF ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!
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12-27-2012 at 8:19 PM
firesiren
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firesiren is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 9:31 PMBronze

jadwedd:
I would pitch a hissy fit like he has never seen to my husband.  Things about it being his family and he should defend me, blah blah blah.  I have had this hissy fit with him.  And tell him that he should say that you never said anything about it because you are too classy but he heard about it and needed to say something.  So you don't sound like a witch.  I did this over the in laws bringing the dog which I am allergic to on Christmas and they angrily left the dog at home.  My sil was a witch all day and said I was sick for having a pic of the embies (she had ivf so I don't understand why she would say that).  Anyway you should not have to endure that and it took years for me to get my husband to start standing up for me so I know how you feel. He should get in the middle, he should be right in the middle defending you - it is his family.  Or he should make it so you do not have to see her.  For example, my mil is a witch and I told him that he was not allowed to leave me alone with her - ever.  So if I went to the bathroom and she followed he had to wait around outside the bathroom (she likes to attack right outside the bathroom).  Anyway, I am rambling, tell your husband that you should not be treated like that, he should either defend you, or be prepared for you to unleash years of anger and ivf medications all over her a$$ and he can't say a word about it!

 

My DH carried our embie pic in the visor of his squad car!  Not sick, it's sweet.
Me; 35 DH 32 TTC for over 2 years First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN Switching RE IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH! BFN IVF#3 Chemical... FML. 2 frosties. SAIF/PAIF ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!
My Idle Oven Blog!
*~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
 
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12-28-2012 at 8:30 AM
PokerChic8...
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PokerChic85 is not online. Last active: 01-08-2013, 5:06 PMNewbie

I am SO SORRY! I have a horrid SIL also ( well BILs wife) .... Very similar blow out this past weekend.... I just walked out and sat in the car and called my mother, my DH followed, then he went back in and raised hell. I left because I knew I'd go ballistic if I stayed. 

So, now we're not speaking to them....ever again. Thats how bad it was.

As far as MIL - ugh - tough because it's your DHs mom so you'll always have to bite your tongue, even if she agrees with SIL - have your DH do all the talking

 

Or, just call her a F*&$^@ Nasty B#&$&@* Horrid F#*&&&##  piece of S*#^&@, and smile and walk out 

;) 
TTC since early 2011 “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa  
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12-28-2012 at 10:03 AM
interzone
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interzone is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 5:19 PMNewbie

I'm so sorry you have such an unpleasant, negative person in your life. I honestly wouldn't say anything to her now or if she brings it up again in the future.  From the conversation you described, it sounds like she is the kind of person who loves drama and starting fights.  The best way to deal with a person like that is to ignore, ignore, and ignore some more.

 

If you do want some kind of resolution, you can have DH tell his mother how much SIL's words hurt you and that he won't tolerate poor treatment of his wife by his family.  This is his family, so it is his responsibility to talk to them about this!!!  When we were dating and newly married, my FIL was just plain mean to me.  My husband made the decision to tell him that he couldn't watch me be mistreated and if FIL didn't want to be nice we wouldn't see him again.  We haven't seen or talked to FIL in over 5 years, and our lives are much better for it.  Us setting that boundary led to other family members pulling away from FIL as well.  I can't imagine you are the only one SIL treats like crap.

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12-28-2012 at 12:41 PM
dede0726
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dede0726 is not online. Last active: 04-26-2013, 1:06 PMNewbie

I am sorry you have to deal with that! And it's really a bummer that your DH won't back you up by talking to her about it. I have a know it all younger sister that I am dealing with myself. I really want to rip into her but she is family so I just try to keep the peace. We have to see her one more time (this Sunday) before I start my cycle and then I plan on taking a very long break from seeing her. It got to the point before we started down this path that I refused to talk to her at all about what we were going through.

Nobody in our position needs any added stress and it sucks that family doesn't understand that!!
Me - 35 DH - 37 SD - 10
Married 10/8/2011
Started TTC July 2011. Infertility workup July & August 2012.
DH - all clear. Me - Unicornuate Uterus discovered at HSG 8/16/12. Referred for IVF 8/28/12. Approved for IVF Warranty Program 10/2/12. Laparoscopy 11/1/12 - removed right rudamentary horn, both tubes, left ovarian cyst and endometriosis. Given all clear for pregnancy after 1/1/2013.
IVF cycle 1 starts 1/19/13!
12 eggs, 7 mature and all 7 fertilized - 2 Frosties!!
5 day SET 2/4/13 - Beta 2/13: 86 & 2/15: 186 BFP!!!!
EDD: October, 23, 2013
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