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12-27-2012 at 4:40 PM
Icecream4m...
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This bump makes me feel like I'm under a microscope

I generally don't like being the center of attention, but I've been out and about more than usual due to the holidays and this bump makes me stand out.  I'm getting frustrated with all the "advice" from people who are watching or asking about everything I put in my my body or how I will raise the child.  Especially - since I'm realizing for every piece of advice you get - someone else will give you the opposite.  As most of this advice came from people close to me, I now know I'm doomed to be "tsk tsk'd" about behind my back forever! 

A few examples all from the past 5 days!  [Rant]

Example 1) At dinner with friends (with no kids) we were sharing appetizers.  I said I couldn't have the tuna, but could have the lobster. 

Friend says "I don't get it,  Japanese women must eat sushi when they are pregnant, it can't be that bad"

Then Waiter says "M'aam, there are no appetizers you can eat - you shouldn't be having any fish."

Example 2)  Mother keeps questioning the safety of getting the tdap vaccine while pregnant, while MIL keeps keeps asking why I haven't gotten the flu vaccine

Example 3) One person tells me THE Most important thing I can do is get baby on sleep schedule, while person 2 says THE most important thing you can do is not have your life revolve around a rigitd sleep schedule (both back up with reasons)

Example 4) - 1 person says - you should not leave your home with baby for 6 weeks, another how she brought her 10 day old child to the Cheesecake Factory. 

Other hot buttons: having a few sips of wine with the holdiay dinner, having 1/2 a cup of coffee, taking zantac for my terrible hearturn, adding pepper to my dinner. 

 UGH!   
 
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12-27-2012 at 4:48 PM
Mitsya
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I had a woman scream (like, actually scream) at me for allowing a restaurant to put goat cheese on my salad (pasteurized goat cheese-- she was on her phone during the part where I asked & they showed me the label.)

And then she stomped off all proud of herself for chastising me publicly.  Then with her infant daughter still in her arms, she got into a waiting car's passenger seat & rode away sans seatbelt.
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12-27-2012 at 4:55 PM
aleeshaloo
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I lived in Japan for a year, and Japanese women try to avoid sushi while pregnant, the same as us American preggos.  I'm getting tired of all of the advice also, especially when people are misinformed or ignorant.
 
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12-27-2012 at 4:56 PM
JenniD2
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Some people have been on me about having a cup of coffee a day. One person even made it a point to tell me all of the negative side effects my baby will have because he learned it in a child development class. But with everyone, I calmly tell them that my OB has said that it is ok to have 1-2 cups of coffee a day.

Now my biggest pet peeve is when someone remarks on how big I am and then has to question my due date. "Are you sure you're due March 9th?" or "I think the baby will come sooner than that." I try not to get too insulted; I know I am all baby belly, but the repetitiveness of the comments are starting to get annoying. I just told my friend that I'm just going to start making up random due dates for the fun of it now.
 
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12-27-2012 at 5:11 PM
ilenegrace
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This is all to prep you for the microscope you will be under when your baby is here! Best to learn now how to let these things go in one ear and out the other. Trust your pediatrician alot of these things can be clarified by them. For example my pedi said we are to keep LO on lock down for 6 weeks. Didn't say we couldn't leave the house just keep her away from kids, sick people, etc. Good luck!
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12-27-2012 at 5:36 PM
DMG122183
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Yes yes and yes! People ask me when I'm due a thousand times a day. When I say jan 22nd, most of them respond: oh you have a while to go, but you look like you are ready to pop! Thanks a million.
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12-27-2012 at 5:51 PM
mkanderson...
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My doctor said its fine to eat any sushi as long as it is from a reputable place. I've eaten it a number of times this pregnancy.
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12-27-2012 at 5:54 PM
Ace08
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Mitsya:

I had a woman scream (like, actually scream) at me for allowing a restaurant to put goat cheese on my salad (pasteurized goat cheese-- she was on her phone during the part where I asked & they showed me the label.)

And then she stomped off all proud of herself for chastising me publicly.  Then with her infant daughter still in her arms, she got into a waiting car's passenger seat & rode away sans seatbelt.

 

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12-27-2012 at 6:42 PM
lifewrite
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I had to LOL at the "adding pepper to my dinner". When did this become a thing?? I didn't know pepper was a pregnancy no no. Smile I feel your pain though, my MIL works at a pediatric office as a receptionist and thinks she knows everything about how to take care of babies. I'm not looking forward to all the advice I'm going to get when LO gets here.
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12-27-2012 at 7:25 PM
drpayne
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mkanderson85:
My doctor said its fine to eat any sushi as long as it is from a reputable place. I've eaten it a number of times this pregnancy.


This. I had sushi on Friday, as well as a glass if wine. You have to be confident in the choices you make and not give a crap about what people, especially misinformed ones, have to say. It really won't bother you as much.
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12-27-2012 at 7:25 PM
drpayne
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Dup
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12-27-2012 at 7:40 PM
milkergirl...
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When people question what I'm eating or doing, I always say, "well, our moms ate/drank/did this and we turned out fine," or "our moms smoked and drank and we turned out fine." It's seems to only be recent (10-20 yrs) that women don't eat lunch meat, fish, etc while pregnant.  
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12-27-2012 at 8:20 PM
Kingston54
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What you have to do is right from the beginning stand firm on your choices and back them up  - even if it's just with "because I want to".  Don't let people's opinions bother you - you have to do what's best for your situation.  It's probably easiest to just smile and nod unless it's something you feel strongly about.  When all else fails (such as the tuna/fish situation), just say it is what your doctor (the one who went to medical school) said to do.
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12-27-2012 at 8:24 PM
Bride-hild...
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I hear you! I'm getting so tired of advice, that I'm even getting tired of good advice. DH says I should get a shirt that says, "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I want advice, or to hear your birth story." I want to start telling people, "You know, I've done a LOT of research. I'll figure it all out. Thanks."

Now I'm starting to realize it'll never end. People will be giving me child raising advice once child birthing advice is over and done with. It'll never end!!!! 
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12-27-2012 at 8:44 PM
ajckie
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As a nurse, I tend to put a lot of stock in what medical research/my doctors tell me is best. I know everyone has their own opinion and that's fine, I'm generally going to do what medicine tells me is safest. On that note, people are ALWAYS telling me what to do/not to do. I have a SIL who told me I'm going to "feel really stupid" when I'm done with this pregnancy and realize I didn't need to stop eating deli meat that wasn't cooked first, avoiding unpasteurized cheese, etc, trying not to overdo it when the doctor told me to rest and not lift. She told me all women in their first pregnancies are stupid and are embarrassed later. It's so frustrating. How about you mind your business. "I did it and I'm fine" isn't an excuse to me. Lots of people did it and AREN'T fine, so I'm gonna listen to the doctor.
 
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12-27-2012 at 9:13 PM
JumpAround...
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A woman yelled at me for buying beer last week. People are insane. 
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12-27-2012 at 10:19 PM
Myzticsuns...
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JumpAroundBucky:
A woman yelled at me for buying beer last week. People are insane.nbsp;


I mean ya, it's ridiculous... As long as that beer wasn't for you haha

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12-27-2012 at 10:34 PM
lenya_35
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ilenegrace:
This is all to prep you for the microscope you will be under when your baby is here! Best to learn now how to let these things go in one ear and out the other.

Yes, this!  The comments won't stop once your LO is here.  Just get used to letting it slide and not taking it personally.   
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12-28-2012 at 7:23 AM
eleventhir...
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Bride-hilda:

I hear you! I'm getting so tired of advice, that I'm even getting tired of good advice. DH says I should get a shirt that says, "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I want advice, or to hear your birth story." I want to start telling people, "You know, I've done a LOT of research. I'll figure it all out. Thanks."

Now I'm starting to realize it'll never end. People will be giving me child raising advice once child birthing advice is over and done with. It'll never end!!!! 

This is so true.  When DD was born, I was so fed up with hearing unsolicited advice from others that I got her a onesie that said "My Mom doesn't want your advice."  Not like it helped, but it made me feel better. 
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12-28-2012 at 8:48 AM
northshore...
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I completely hear you on this one! So many people have crazy opinions. I was sitting at christmas dinner and talking about how I am making Mud Slides for a Christmas party I was having and I couldn't wait to try them. My Aunt looks at me and says super loud, "you drink while you are pregnant." I respond with, "no, I don't drink while I am pregnant but I am making a fancy ice cream drink tonight and sure as hell I am going to taste it!" She shook her head and repeated, "I never drank when I was pregnant." I wanted to scream but I just gave up.
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12-28-2012 at 1:03 PM
RachelG101...
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I don't know if I have an eff off face or if it is because I am 39 with a teenage son but I really don't get any advice unsolicited and I am so grateful for it.

Sure things have changed in the last 15 years but I am smart enough to figure it out or ask someone in the know TYVM!!!

 
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12-28-2012 at 1:05 PM
PeanutR1
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northshore25:
I completely hear you on this one! So many people have crazy opinions. I was sitting at christmas dinner and talking about how I am making Mud Slides for a Christmas party I was having and I couldn't wait to try them. My Aunt looks at me and says super loud, "you drink while you are pregnant." I respond with, "no, I don't drink while I am pregnant but I am making a fancy ice cream drink tonight and sure as hell I am going to taste it!" She shook her head and repeated, "I never drank when I was pregnant." I wanted to scream but I just gave up.

 

I would have taken a big slug of wine. Which I did have a glass of with Christmas dinner, btw. Baby's still kickin! 
 
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12-30-2012 at 11:51 AM
Icecream4m...
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Thanks for all the comments.  I definitely picked the right place to rant!  So happy to be home for a few days so I can make eat at home with no watchers (except husband who thankfully is very supportive).

BTW, the pepper comment was just because I have heartburn. I HAVE stopped eating most spicy things, but didn't think a dash of pepper was really going to make much of a difference. I get heartburn after eating anything anyway - literally - anything.   It's my worst pregnancy issue. 

 

 
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