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12-27-2012 at 7:04 PM
meck716
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meck716 is not online. Last active: 04-20-2013, 8:58 PMNewbie

Question - religion and IF

Hi, Everyone,

I know I'm new to the IF board, but I had a question for those of you who are religious.  I was brought up catholic and haven't gone to church in at least 7 years.  When DH and I got the news about his zero sperm count, I had this sudden desire to go to church.  

My question is - does church/mass/synagogue/etc help?  I know it's not going to make me pregnant, and I don't believe in the "if it's God's will" comments I get from people.  But, I'm wondering if just the spirituality part of going back to church might help me mentally.

Do any of you have any similar experiences?  I'm feeling very lost right now and am looking for something to get a hold of.

TIA


Married 7-16-10; TTC since July 2011
Me - almost 34; DH - 35
Dx: Unexplained Azoo; all blood work normal (including chromosomal abnormality screens); no blockages; 2 SAs with zero sperm, TESA scheduled for 4/11
Me: HSG, blood work - all clear Fx crossed, praying, and hopeful for a someday Baby E
 
12-27-2012 at 7:15 PM
teachergur...
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teachergurl2002 is not online. Last active: 06-13-2013, 11:07 PMNewbie

I think you need to use/do whatever you can to get you through the situation. I feel you need to seek out whatever you can, spiritual or otherwise, for strength and support. I am Catholic and I am pretty devout but I also know the Church's stance on fertility and intervention and I obviously do not agree with it. Therefore I do not tell many people who I attend mass with what my husband and I have done regarding IVF. I also have a few family members who do not agree with it and I CAN NOT WAIT TO TELL THEM, when I finally concieve, how we did it. This is very personal and only those who go through it can truly understand and appreciate it.

 Good luck and do what feels right for you. I pray every damn day and you will be added to my prayers...lol

 
12-27-2012 at 7:17 PM
megs3084
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I think its different for everyone. I didnt go to church during ivf 1 but did with number 2. I did feel a bit of stress relief during it but felt lost when the cycle failed.


"Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
"She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time." The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Me:29 DH:29 TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR/immune issues
Feb'12- Clomid/TI with CD3 &21 labs(normal)& SA-count 6mil/ml,morph/motil OK-BFN
April'12 Ultrasounds,HSG -clear, slight acurate uterus
5/14 IUI #1-50 mg clomid-post wash total motile count 19.3 prometrium 2dpiui= BFN
6/11-IUI #2-100 mg clomid & prometrium post wash count total motile 17.5 = BFN
7/6 IUI#3 with 100 mg clomid, estridiol, prometrium. post wash total motile count 23.3 = BFN
8/30IVF#1 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur,Ganerelix,Novarel.
ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F.
ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
IVF#2 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur, Ganerelix, Novarel, Baby Aspirin
ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
2/13- Saline sono revealed a polyp. All additional labwork coming back normal. Genetic screen revealed DH has MTHFR deficiency & I am a carrier for it.
3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy
3/27 Began working with Reproductive Immunologist Dr. Kwak-Kim. Found High NK cells, High DHEAs, slight hypothyroidism, tendency toward blood clots (High PAI-1)Began synthroid & metformin 4/19.
Cycling in July

Here Comes the Sun Blog
PAIF/SAIF welcome! 
12-27-2012 at 7:21 PM
jezebel57
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I'm actually wondering the same thing.  I was raised Catholic but am pretty agnostic right now.  I still consider myself spiritual at times and believe in a higher power, just not all the catholicism stuff I was raised with.  I am considering going to a different faith's church just to see if I feel better.  That in itself is causing me anxiety (i don't do well with change!) so I'm not sure what I'll end up doing.  Keep us posted!  i'm curious if it helps! 

Me (37) DH (39); Finally correctly diagnosed with DOR in 2012; Started TTC 2009; RE 2009/2010- RE cycle #1 clomid+ ovidrel + TI = BFN; RE cycle #2 clomid + ovidrel + TI=BFN; RE cycle #3 femara + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #4 75iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI= BFN; RE cycle #5 150iu follistim + ovidrel + IUI = BFN ; Took a break and had Weight loss surgery in 2011, back to new RE in 2012 ; AMH 0.43 IVF #1 /ICSI and AH; MDL protocol - ER 2/11 5R, 3M, 2F Three day transfer of 8 cell grade 3 and 8 cell grade 2 embryos. BFN. RPL testing shows homo MTHFR and hetero PAI-1. IVF #2 antagonist-ER 5/14 8R 6M 5F. Three day transfer of 3 embies. 6 cell grade 3, 4 cell grade 2, 5 cell grade 3. Beta #1 at 11dp3dt is 190, Beta #2 at 13dp3dt is 363. U/S scheduled for June 13. In shock and so very hopeful. U/S showed 2 heartbeats in same placenta measuring 113 and 115 bpm. Identical miracles headed our way February 4th. Image and video hosting by TinyPic  BabyFruit Ticker  
12-27-2012 at 7:25 PM
flowerpowe...
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I'm a born-again Christian (former Catholic) and I do believe in the "God's will" thing.  I do, however, also find it helpful to have my faith.  I know that as long as I trust in Him, everything is going to turn out well.  That's what the Bible says and that's what I'm holding onto.  His timing is better than mine.  Smile

Anniversary
TTC since Sept. 2011
DX: MFI
IUI#1 8/2012: BFN
IUI#2 9/2012: BFN
IUI#3 10/2012: BFN
IVF#1 (2 embryos transferred) 1/2013: BFN
IVF#2 (2 embryos transferred) 5/2013: BFP!!! EDD 1/24/14
Beta 1 (5/17) - 66.8 Beta 2 (5/21) - 341 Beta 3 (5/27) - 2771
1st u/s 6/7 - measuring right on track at 7 weeks with 144 bpm!

 BabyFruit Ticker
My Local Nestie Besties: JenniferLuvsCandy, MABride0808, thecuddleeffect, MrsHo1030 
12-27-2012 at 7:39 PM
rrdiva1
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First Meck, I am so sorry that you and hubbs are going through such a difficult journey. Welcome to the IF board, there are many fab ladies here that have been AMAZING through my journey.

Warning and disclaimer since you asked specifically my opinion about faith I will give it.

Back history, we suffer from male factor infertility also. Severe across the board everything was off. We were told our only option was IVF with ICSI. We did 2 rounds already one was a bfn, the 2nd I made it to 5w4d pregnant then miscarried. I am about to go into cycle 3. I say this to bring me to my point.If it was not for my faith I would have been completely lost. I am a born again Christian, accepted Christ, and even work in a outreach ministry.*sign language, I interpret service. :) My mom was raised Catholic so I chose to go with a relationship vs religion.She has since joined my church and is born again also.

I will admit I side eyed God like really, a m/c like I have not been through enough. I had a aha moment though if he brought me to it, he would bring me through it, and it strengthened me more than ever.Maybe someone might need my testimony one day, I am one of those people that believe God's will for me. It is so hard to trust in something to the point of saying your will be done, but really meaning it. As a Christian you will know or learn the story of Job, he went through HELL, lost everything, but it was all a test, only the strongest I believe are picked to go through such tests as IF. Again, I know what a touchy subject of God's will, but I believe everyone is meant for a different path to parenthood, either adoption, surrogacy,all roads lead to rome, and I believe everyone should get to experience it. I have been through many many fires, so that is why I believe the way I do.

I let go this past cycle, and I believed that if I was meant to be pregnant it would happen for me somehow, and I prayed for signs, should I just move on, and then I got a call from Re yesterday saying how close we were, and how she really felt this next time was it. All roads led to biochemical, husband fertilizing all embies almost etc.Just when I was getting ok with this all not working and maybe not ever having kids, I get this sign of hope. not to give up.

I say this because I feel less loss, I am not sure why I had to go on this journey, I have made some amazing in real life friends, it has strengthened my faith, relationships etc. I will be blessed either way I believe that, and I actually believe either through pregnancy,adoption whatever that I will be a parent. That is the peace I have in my heart because I leaned into God for his strength not my understanding. I stand here today after just going through a miscarriage a week before christmas stronger than ever with a determination, I know that didn't come from me, I would still be in bed sobbing and grieving a loss.

All that being said, there is nothing wrong with being plugged into your church, or a source of faith that you feel comfortable with. Eat the meat, spit out the bones so to speak. You do what makes you comfortable, the road ahead of you will not be easy, but it is VERY possible. For all you know a simple treatment or surgery will resolve hubbs IF. I pray nothing but the best for you, many woman have endured it and been successful, stay encouraged and if you ever want to talk further,  please feel free to pm me! I am excited for you!!!!!!!! (((((hugs)))))) <3

 


Married BF 6/29/2002/ TTC Since Aug 2011/ ME:34 dx DOR/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/oats IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2) IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29 stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/Ivf#3 1/13 had to freeze 3 poor quality embies Fet 2/13=bfn 3/13-switched Re New protocol/lupron/bcp in July 13 5th final/everyone welcome My Chart//> Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 
12-27-2012 at 7:48 PM
kflynn81
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kflynn81 is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 6:23 PMBronze
Personally, I think it was really tough for MH and I going back to Church and I'm still easing myself back into it. Our first mass at our new church in our new neighborhood I cried....literally, I was so overwhelmed I cried. Thoughts were racing in my head on why I was being left behind and why are my little prayers answered but not my biggest one?!? Plus there were soooo many children around us it was all a bit much. Then I felt really bad about going back to Church now when I needed something which made me cry more. Perhaps I should have talked to the priest before I went back but we just dove in. Now we sit in the back row, LOL , but its getting better, I'm only teary eyed now :)

Anniversary
Me(31): Some sort of endocrine malfunction that even the major Chicago hospitals can't diagnose. Yay me!!
I also have Factor V Leiden...yay me again!
DH (31): Borderline low morph, but not considered a problem
"Baby dancing" with no protection or BCP since July 2009
IF testing started March 2011
Endocrinology related tests from October 2011-February 2012
March 2012--Clomid --No response-Straight to injects!
April & May 2012-- IUI#1 & #2 = BFN
July 2012- IVF#1 cancelled
September 2012-IVF#1.2--BFN
November 2012- IVF #2 --BFN
January 2013- IVF #3-- BFFN
February 2013--June 2013 Back to the Endocrinologist for more diagnostic testing
IVF #4 --June 2013
PAIF/SAIF encouraged...give me some hope!!
For detailed cycle info. see right side of blog... Kate's IF Blog
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 
12-27-2012 at 8:00 PM
lincoln79
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This is a good question. Mh and I grew up together in the same Presbyterian Church. Our faith history is part of the foundation of our marriage.

That being said, we have struggled in our faith while going through infertility. Mh is a cancer survivor and we have both asked ourselves, "Really? Because surviving cancer wasn't enough, now we have to walk this road of struggle"

The Presbyterian church we are a part of now is very progressive. There are a husband/wife co-pastors that lead the church. They have counseled us through our infertility struggles, prayed over us before we went for IVF, came over to comfort us and leave us with scriptures hours after we found out we have miscarried, and keep encouraging us with telling us how brave  we are to follow God's call (as we feel it) down a tough and trying road. Many other members of our church have supported us as well.

I share this because there are so many stories on this board of people not being support in their faith, and that makes me so sad. There ARE churches that are supportive, and wonderfully so!

I think if the church we had chosen was not supportive, we would have sought a different church that would be supportive (that being said, we would have had to switch denominations because our town is so small). This is just our experience.


TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own. 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d Praying unceasingly for a miracle. PAIF/SAIF welcome Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
12-27-2012 at 9:08 PM
RoadToFert...
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My faith has helped me greatly throughout dealing with this whole IF process. I am a Christian (protestant pentecostal). In fact, it has been one of the most important things in getting me through the pain and disappointment that IF can bring. First off, my pastor and his wife know what we are going through and have been supportive. When I first got the results from my lap that I would need to jump through IVF I cried and called my Pastor and basically was unsure of whether it would be "right" or not. He was so supportive and urged us to move forward with it and did not offer any type of negative judgement but instead offered his prayers. Every step of the way before ET and before transfer day, we would call him and he would pray with us over the phone. The support really helped.

On a spiritual aspect, I really lean on a lot of bible verses to get me through really dark times. When I am feeling down I look up verses that encourage me and push me to hold on. I also read about women in the bible who dealt with infertility (and there are quite a few) and it comforts me reading their story and what ended up happening with them (some good endings, some not so good..). For me, my faith has been a source of solace and comfort in a time where I have felt isolated, alone, and like I have no one to talk to. My time of prayer has been a place where I find strength and hope during difficult days with IF. Hope this helps.


Married for 3 years to the love of my life! TTC for over a year. Started seeing RE in April 2012. Lap in July revealed endo covering left ovary and part of my bowels. This will require extensive surgery by a specialist. RE wants us to have babies first because surgery could compromise my ability to carry. Started first round of IVF in August. Ten follies retrieved, eight fertilized, two frosties. IVF #1= C/P *Frozen Embie Transfer scheduled for end of Nov/Dec. Going to transfer 2 frosties if all goes according to plan*
FET # 1 [12/18]: Transferred two "beautiful" embies.
Beta # 1: 126 [BFP!]
Beta # 2: 546
Beta #3: 1618!!
Beta # 4 - 4954!!!!!! Ultrasound 1/18 - Two heartbeats at 121 and 136. Fraternal twins! Um, is this really happening?!
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Our Road to Fertility (My blog)

 Pregnancy Ticker
 
12-27-2012 at 10:29 PM
thecuddlee...
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thecuddleeffect is online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 6:40 PMSilver

I haven't really spoken with my pastor (I'm baptist) about IVF, but I'm sure he knows, he is very close with my father, but having the support of prayer and the feeling of "giving it up to God" has given me peace.

DH also has Azoo, so I understand how badly the "it's God will" comments hurt, but I just remember God is looking over the doctors, and the embryos and he created the people to make the scientific advances that allow us to have biological children. Maybe it's a stretch but it makes me feel better. 

 I suppose its up to you in the end, but I think when we are in an emotional situation such as this we need a higher power to lean on and pray to. 


Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Me(25)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & IC DH(26)Azoospermia
4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
IVF ICSI #1- 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
Break Cycle - June/July (Going to Disney!)
IVF ICSI #2- Started stims 7/26
ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
12/9 Joshua David and Zoe Faith born too early at 19w4d due to incompetent cervix
4/15/13 - LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - only possibility of carrying my children to term
June 2013 - start stims for IVF#3 - canceled.
Taking a break, busting my butt at the gym. 7/16/13 - going to the Bahamas
IVF ICSI #3- 7/26 Starting stims (SAME date I started stims for J&Z's IVF, WOW!)
Daisypath Anniversary tickers
My Local Nestie Besties: MrsHo1030, MABride0808,flowerpower and JenniferLuvsCandy!  
12-28-2012 at 10:37 AM
ctnl81
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ctnl81 is not online. Last active: 06-01-2013, 11:13 AMNewbie
For me personally, infertility has solidified that the church I was raised in is not the church for me. If it were up to that church, IVF would be illegal, and I personally don't want my children raised in a church that doesn't think they should have ever been conceived. I found myself looking around for a new spiritual home throughout the IF process while we were looking for support and we've found one that we think fits. So I totally get wanting to find answers in that part of your life while you're going through a rough time.



married 7/21/07; ttc since 2/2011
me 31, minor endo; him 32, minor MFI
laparoscopy 5/12; uterine septum corrected
failed IUIs 6/12, 8/12, 9/12
IVF #1 - started stimming 11/24, ER on 12/4, ET on 12/9, beta at 11dp5dt - 417! BFFP!



 
12-28-2012 at 11:16 AM
laurag1986
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laurag1986 is not online. Last active: 06-07-2013, 9:17 PMNewbie

Our church is super supportive with our IF issues and we have azoo's so male factor IF as well. Our pastor was with us everystep of the way. Even with choosing our sperm doner. Him and his wife know all the information with all our steps of our IF procedures. It was totally helped us out. If I didnt have God and our relationship with Him I personally would be lost and same with my husband. I if my church wasnt behind me and if it was a taboo thing I think that if would be way to stressful.

I hope you find what you are seeking for and I pray for you. 

xx



Trying to Conceive since Aug 2011
Diagnosed with severe male factor IF we got no swimmers
First dIUI Dec 7 2012 = BFN
Second dIUI Jan 9 2013 = BFN
Third dIUI with clomid 50mg Feb 5 2013 = BFN
Forth dIUI with clomid 100mg dIUI March 8 2013 = BFN
Taking a break to figure things out.  
12-28-2012 at 6:43 PM
meck716
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857 Points
meck716 is not online. Last active: 04-20-2013, 8:58 PMNewbie

Thanks, everyone.

DH and I talked and I'm going back to church for the first time in many years this weekend.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk to the priest or anything yet - I'm just thinking of going for the mass.  DH said he might come with me.  He was born catholic and was baptized, but never went any further with it.  His family isn't very religious.  He claims he's going "for your sake" to me, but he doesn't do anything if he doesn't want to, so I think he's going a bit for himself too.

Thank you for your responses.


Married 7-16-10; TTC since July 2011
Me - almost 34; DH - 35
Dx: Unexplained Azoo; all blood work normal (including chromosomal abnormality screens); no blockages; 2 SAs with zero sperm, TESA scheduled for 4/11
Me: HSG, blood work - all clear Fx crossed, praying, and hopeful for a someday Baby E
 
12-28-2012 at 7:46 PM
tptbabe
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tptbabe is online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 6:33 PMBronze

This is something that we both struggle with alot. Neither of us grew up in very religious households (DHs was more so than mine. I came to Christianity as a teenager.) but we both have the same "faith" (not religion) and feel very strongly in our beliefs. Neither of our Churches support ART, and so we haven't brought it to any Priest. I've talked about it with my G-dfather (he and his wife experienced 2IF themselves) and he reminds us that only G-d can create life. It doesn't matter even if we do ICSI, because even though yes technically, a person is injecting the sperm directly into the egg, the only thing that will create life in that egg is Him.

I think that if attending Church helps you to feel at peace with your decision, then that's great! Some people need a community to feel at peace, others need time alone, with either just themselves, or with their SO. I hope that you find what it is that you need!


My Ovulation Chart
TTC with MFI and poor ovulation since 03/11
TCM and progesterone supplements
Early loss in 08/11
MFI Dx in 03/12 Low count, low motility, poor morphology and high levels of anti-sperm antibodies
Treated with supplements and TCM. Much lower on all factors. Count too low to test for anti-bodies
Met with new urologist 11/12
IUI #1 12/12: Letrozole + Gonal-F = BFN
DH started Clomid 01/13
New SA shows 33 million sperm! Thank you Clomid!!!
Discovered I am hypothyroid 04/13 waiting for specialist appointment
Hoping to try IUI again in July?
 
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