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12-27-2012 at 7:28 PM
Lacyj67
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Joined on 04-24-2012
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Lacyj67 is not online. Last active: 05-06-2013, 2:02 AMBronze

Sad

I'm in a little funk and can't stop thinking about our IF struggles this year! Maybe I'm sad because a girl I work with who we both go to the same RE she texted me today with news that she had her IVF in dec and got a positive beta of 495 yesterday. This is her second child conceived through IVF and our RE. I'm happy for her but like a little bitter! Why can't he help me!!! Boo just needed to vent that and now maybe I will feel better now that I told someone.

Me 32 and DH 37 married in aug. 2002 Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 IVF #1 May 2012 ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN Hysteroscopy 7/12/12 D&C preformed and one Polyp removed MINI IVF Oct.2012 Cancelled 10-27-12 Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013 Ivf #3 Cancelled April 22nd 2013 Hopefully when the healing begins we will move on to DE. Everyone Welcome  
12-27-2012 at 7:40 PM
kflynn81
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Joined on 11-28-2009
Oak Lawn
28,245 Points
kflynn81 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:08 PMBronze
I'm sorry, its ok to be in a funk...this time of year doesn't really help either.

Anniversary
Me(31): Possibly Adult Growth Hormone Deficiency caused by a mutation in my pituitary genes called PIT-1--Also, Factor V Leiden
DH (31): Borderline low morph, but not considered a problem
"Baby dancing" with no protection or BCP since July 2009
IF testing started March 2011
Endocrinology related tests from October 2011-February 2012
March 2012--Clomid --No response-Straight to injects!
April & May 2012-- IUI#1 & #2 = BFN
July 2012- IVF#1 cancelled
September 2012-IVF#1.2--BFN
November 2012- IVF #2 --BFN
January 2013- IVF #3-- BFFN
February 2013--Found a new RE but first back to the Endocrinologist for more diagnostic testing
Absolutely no idea when we can cycle again...looking into DE as well if IVF#4 fails again
PAIF/SAIF encouraged...give me some hope!!
For detailed cycle info. see right side of blog... Kate's IF Blog
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12-27-2012 at 7:47 PM
cupcake201
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Joined on 11-16-2011
5,196 Points
cupcake201 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 12:58 PMBronze
I'm sorry. IF sucks and days like these are the worst. It definitely helps to let it out, so let it out girl! We all get in funks here and there. Big hugs!!!

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TTC#1 since 4/11 : m/c in 9/11 & 11/11
DH dx with Balanced Translocation 5/12
10/12 IVF#1-7R, 3M, 3F- No transfer - Froze 2.
IVF#2 1/13 - 11R, 10M, 6F, no transfer
IVF#3 4/13 - 8R, 6M, 6F, 1 passed PGD and was transfered 5/2/13
S/PAIF Welcome
 
12-27-2012 at 7:53 PM
jadwedd
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Joined on 04-29-2003
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jadwedd is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 8:50 PMBronze
It is normal to be in a funk.  It happens to all of us.  FX that next month is your turn!!

Married 12-12-04
TTC since 07
me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!

 
12-27-2012 at 8:17 PM
rrdiva1
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21,924 Points
rrdiva1 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 1:51 PMSilver
Lacy big ol hugs! This time of year is tough too. <3 We all have moments like that. try to stay encouraged!

Married BF 6/29/2002/ TTC Since Aug 2011/ ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/ IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2) IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29 stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan Antagonist protacol again Everyone welcome!! My Chart//> Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 
12-27-2012 at 9:17 PM
megs3084
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Joined on 12-26-2008
Chicago
28,319 Points
megs3084 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 5:06 AMSilver
Hugs! Its okay to be in a funk. Im in one too.


"Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
"She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time." The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Me:28 DH:28 TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR
Feb'12- Clomid/TI with CD3 &21 labs(normal)& SA-count 6mil/ml,morph/motil OK-BFN
April'12 Ultrasounds,HSG -clear, slight acurate uterus
5/14 IUI #1-50 mg clomid-post wash total motile count 19.3 prometrium 2dpiui= BFN
6/11-IUI #2-100 mg clomid & prometrium post wash count total motile 17.5 = BFN
7/6 IUI#3 with 100 mg clomid, estridiol, prometrium. post wash total motile count 23.3 = BFN
8/30IVF#1 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur,Ganerelix,Novarel.
ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F.
ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
IVF#2 BCPs, Follistim, Menopur, Ganerelix, Novarel, Baby Aspirin
ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
2/13- Saline sono revealed a polyp. All additional labwork coming back normal. Genetic screen revealed DH has MTHFR deficiency & I am a carrier for it.
3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy
3/27 Began working with Reproductive Immunologist Dr. Kwak-Kim. Found High NK cells, High DHEAs, slight hypothyroidism, tendency toward blood clots (High PAI-1)Began synthroid & metformin 4/19.
Cycling in July

Here Comes the Sun Blog
PAIF/SAIF welcome! 
12-27-2012 at 10:50 PM
dimples128
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Joined on 05-04-2008
Rogers, AR
8,307 Points
dimples128 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 12:38 PMBronze
Big hugs! 

TTC #1 - June '10 dx - LPD,2% Morph
Los Angeles, CA
IUI #1 BFN
IUI #2 Ectopic. 2 MTX dosages = left tube blocked.
IVF #1 11/17: Long Lupron 12/6: started stims. ER: 12/19 half ICSI ET: 12/24
12 retrieved, 6 fertilized, 2 transferred, 3 frozen
It worked! 1/2 Beta #1: 151 Beta #2: 354
One little bean EDD: 9/9/13
SAIF/PAIFW
 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-28-2012 at 8:18 AM
SteFizzRic...
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Joined on 05-20-2008
5,046 Points
SteFizzRich is online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 2:44 PMBronze
I'm sorry Lacy! You are definitely not alone. I am in a super funk as well. Between Mom and this failed IVF, I'm feeling so low right now. 

**TTC #1 since 10/2010**
Me~28 DH~29
*u/s & b/w dx PCOS 05/2011*
1/2012 RE Consult
1/2012-3/2012: 3 cycles of Clomid + Ovidrel + TI = BFN
4/2012: 100mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1 = Canceled, zero sperm
Repeat SA Confirms Azoo

*DH dx Azoo due to CUAVD(R) & obstructed Vas(L)*
9/2012- mTESE: Sperm Found & 12 Vials Frozen

10/2012: MiniIVF w/ICSI: Beyaz, Clomid, Gonal F, Nasal Spray Trigger
10/1 - Start BCP for 14 days
10/18 - Stims: 50mg Clomid & 75iu Gonal-F
10/30- Trigger w/ Syranel Nasal Spray
11/1 ER: 3R, 2F & 1 pending
11/8: 1 grade B blastocyst frozen
11/19 Hysteroscopy
12/8: Begin Estradiol & Prometrium
12/13 FET = BFN

PAIF/SAIF Welcome!



Much love to my 73 3TFB!  
12-28-2012 at 12:14 PM
Lacyj67
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17,247 Points
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SteFizzRich:
I'm sorry Lacy! You are definitely not alone. I am in a super funk as well. Between Mom and this failed IVF, I'm feeling so low right now.nbsp;


I think sometimes we need this time to be sad about all this because it IS sad and and sucks that we have to go through this. I used to not be bothered by friends getting prego but the longer I go through this the harder it gets. I don't like feeling the bitterness and resentful because that's not the person I am!!! I just realized that IF has changed me as a person and I don't like it!
I can't even imagine having to deal with a loss of my mom while going through this so sorry!! I feel for you girl! Hopefully we will start seeing the light at the end if the tunnel in 2013! We gotta stay hopeful at least it all we have left!!!
Thanks for all the hugs ladies!!! It helps to vent here and you all understand!

Me 32 and DH 37 married in aug. 2002 Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 IVF #1 May 2012 ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN Hysteroscopy 7/12/12 D&C preformed and one Polyp removed MINI IVF Oct.2012 Cancelled 10-27-12 Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013 Ivf #3 Cancelled April 22nd 2013 Hopefully when the healing begins we will move on to DE. Everyone Welcome  
12-28-2012 at 12:14 PM
melkel559
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Joined on 07-17-2008
18,907 Points
melkel559 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 12:55 PMBronze
I am joining your funk club! The holidays just magnify all the emotions too. IF sucks. It seems like all of my friends and family are pregnant right now and I am avoiding them all. It's an awful place to be in! FX for a fab 2013. Hugs.

TTC since June 2011
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
PAIF & SAIF always welcome
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 BabyFruit Ticker 
12-28-2012 at 1:53 PM
nikkireid2...
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Joined on 12-28-2012
36 Points
nikkireid2012 is not online. Last active: 12-28-2012, 3:05 PMNewbie
It's okay to be sad and frustrated, that used to be me. After years of trying to conceive and many doctors telling me I was too old and that it was next to impossible. God answered my prayers and led me to Chinese herbs, which helped unblock my tubes and lower my FSH, a co-worker told me about Radiant Wonder supplements, how she had taken Cinnamon & Poria Free Flow and Super Fertility#2  and within 5 months had gotten pregnant! I followed her advice, my program was switched up by their herbalist who by the way will speak with you in depth free of charge and insist on following up every few weeks, within 6 1/2 months I was pregnant! Don't ever let anyone tell you that it is impossible, that you are too old whatever other garbage some of these "specialist" like to tell women like you and me. Look outside the box, try natural remedies try everything and anything until you succeed. Just wanted to share this with you and let you know that there is hope.
 
12-28-2012 at 2:13 PM
nikkireid2...
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Joined on 12-28-2012
36 Points
nikkireid2012 is not online. Last active: 12-28-2012, 3:05 PMNewbie

I just posted a reply to Lacy, but just want to say look into Radiant Wonder supplements...I took their  Cinnamon & Poria, Super NOurishing and Free Flow within months my tubes where cleared, my FSH had dropped and now a baby on the way!

They will customize to suit your needs, it's inexpensive and the people are so caring and knowledgeable it's amazing. Just want to share, because I know what it's like to feel defeated and hopeless. Have faith and know that other women which have been in your situation have succeeded. Good luck, and know that you are not alone. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you just need to vent to someone.

 
12-28-2012 at 3:11 PM
BellaLux
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Joined on 07-24-2008
11,542 Points
BellaLux is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:21 PMSilver
I'm sorry and completely understand. The end of the year brings a lot of reflection, and quite frankly when you've been struggling with IF all year, it pretty much sucks. I'm grateful for a lot of things, but this has been an extremely difficult year. I'll join the pity party with you

~TTC#1 Since July 2011~
Dx: 10/10 - Fibroids; 6/12 - Tubal Infertility
9/12 -IVF w/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol)=BFFN
Next: Feb 2013 -Myomectomy
S/PAIF Welcome
Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
12-28-2012 at 3:16 PM
BellaLux
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Joined on 07-24-2008
11,542 Points
BellaLux is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 2:21 PMSilver
nikkireid2012:

I just posted a reply to Lacy, but just want to say look into Radiant Wonder supplements...I took their  Cinnamon & Poria, Super NOurishing and Free Flow within months my tubes where cleared, my FSH had dropped and now a baby on the way!

They will customize to suit your needs, it's inexpensive and the people are so caring and knowledgeable it's amazing. Just want to share, because I know what it's like to feel defeated and hopeless. Have faith and know that other women which have been in your situation have succeeded. Good luck, and know that you are not alone. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you just need to vent to someone.

Reported!


~TTC#1 Since July 2011~
Dx: 10/10 - Fibroids; 6/12 - Tubal Infertility
9/12 -IVF w/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol)=BFFN
Next: Feb 2013 -Myomectomy
S/PAIF Welcome
Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
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