REAL Women do not get an epidural!

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12-28-2012 at 9:38 AM

nany6115

Joined on 06-11-2012

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nany6115 is not online. Last active: 05-08-2013, 1:43 PM

REAL Women do not get an epidural!

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

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12-28-2012 at 9:41 AM

jobiann

Joined on 10-09-2007

Iowa

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The choice is everyone's personal decision and there is no wrong choice. However, it is wrong to force your opinion onto others and make them feel like there is a wrong decision. I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut...I probably would have got in her face about it honestly.

Sorry that happened to you, just try to forget about it and know that you are making the best decision for you...and that is ALL that matters!

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12-28-2012 at 9:48 AM

MT-Head

Joined on 12-04-2007

Annapolis, MD

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And real women should not feel so insecure that they are compelled to *** all over another woman's choice. What a see-you-next-Tuesday! I probably would have told her to go suck a ***. I have been so edgy lately I would not have been able to keep my tongue.

Son #1 is already 2! Not too much longer until Son No.2 arrives!

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12-28-2012 at 9:54 AM

mabenner1

Joined on 01-23-2008

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nany6115:

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

I was with you til the bolded part. Just as you have the right to an epidural, other women have the right to not want one. For some women, natural child birth is the way to go. For others, including myself, pain management is what is desired. While yes, she was pushy and opinionated, she has the right to those opinions. And for me, my botched epidural was a big part of the reason I ended up with a c-section.

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12-28-2012 at 9:56 AM

ANA6

Joined on 03-13-2012

371 Posts

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nany6115:

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

I tried the whole natural thing for 4.5 hrs with DD 1, when the Noban medication making me loopy wore off the fowl language began. I was going to go all natural, but that was cancelled out by my pain. I would have been a smart mouth about it. I can't believe she said it would result in a c-section, any issue can result in it. I'm sorry lady they dark ages you came from are over maybe she needs to do some research before she makes a bold move like that.

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12-28-2012 at 10:12 AM

nany6115

Joined on 06-11-2012

51 Posts

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mabenner1:
nany6115:

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

I was with you til the bolded part. Just as you have the right to an epidural, other women have the right to not want one. For some women, natural child birth is the way to go. For others, including myself, pain management is what is desired. While yes, she was pushy and opinionated, she has the right to those opinions. And for me, my botched epidural was a big part of the reason I ended up with a c-section.

I never said women didnt have a right to not want one. On that bolded part Im referring to myself not other women. I know an epidural is not for everyone and I do not talk down on women that choose not to get one. People do have a right to their own opinions, but they do not have a right to say Im not a REAL woman cause of it!

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12-28-2012 at 10:12 AM

bandwife

Joined on 03-01-2009

Canada

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Meh. This is pretty par for the course in terms of others opinions on your pregnancy/labor/parenting.

And from the other side - no epidural with DS and a planned home birth - you get still get lots of people telling you you're crazy for not getting an epidural.

Personally, I just don't discuss a lot of my choices for labor or parenting because a) it's not anyone's business but my own and b) I don't want to hear what other people think of my choices. I know myself enough and have done enough research to be confident that my choices are what's best for me and my baby.

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12-28-2012 at 10:15 AM

sthomas122...

Joined on 06-10-2012

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ANA6:
nany6115:

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

I tried the whole natural thing for 4.5 hrs with DD 1, when the Noban medication making me loopy wore off the fowl language began. I was going to go all natural, but that was cancelled out by my pain. I would have been a smart mouth about it. I can't believe she said it would result in a c-section, any issue can result in it. I'm sorry lady they dark ages you came from are over maybe she needs to do some research before she makes a bold move like that.

While I would've punched the lady in the face or something else undignified. I do not agree about your "dark ages" remark... I don't plan on using any pain medications and having minimal to no interventions if they can be avoided b/c RESEARCH shows it provides the best outcomes for mom and baby, including a reduced c/s risk. Medical interventions are tools to be pulled out as needed and if a woman feels they need an epidural that his HER choice and no one's business. But not having one doesn't make you uneducated.

photo be1a8386-23ff-434a-beaf-1408a16593dd_zpsd844a7d8.jpg

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12-28-2012 at 10:24 AM

LoisLayn23

Joined on 12-26-2007

Iowa

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Real women don't have c-sections either I guess. Hmphf.

photo b4d6483d-d7bb-480d-b54d-c00f18151961_zpsfefd4aec.jpg

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12-28-2012 at 10:33 AM

526SadieSa...

Joined on 10-06-2009

Hope, RI

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MT-Head:
And real women should not feel so insecure that they are compelled to *** all over another woman's choice. What a see-you-next-Tuesday! I probably would have told her to go suck a ***. I have been so edgy lately I would not have been able to keep my tongue.

All of this.

I probably would not have held my tongue, its a personal choice,

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12-28-2012 at 10:44 AM

ANA6

Joined on 03-13-2012

371 Posts

6,057 Points

sthomas1222:
ANA6:
nany6115:

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

I tried the whole natural thing for 4.5 hrs with DD 1, when the Noban medication making me loopy wore off the fowl language began. I was going to go all natural, but that was cancelled out by my pain. I would have been a smart mouth about it. I can't believe she said it would result in a c-section, any issue can result in it. I'm sorry lady they dark ages you came from are over maybe she needs to do some research before she makes a bold move like that.

While I would've punched the lady in the face or something else undignified. I do not agree about your "dark ages" remark... I don't plan on using any pain medications and having minimal to no interventions if they can be avoided b/c RESEARCH shows it provides the best outcomes for mom and baby, including a reduced c/s risk. Medical interventions are tools to be pulled out as needed and if a woman feels they need an epidural that his HER choice and no one's business. But not having one doesn't make you uneducated.

The dark ages remark was referring to before medication. Woman did not have the options they do today. Not using a medication is your choice, I tried but with a almost 10 pound child coming out I was not having it after I lost all focus. Some woman mange pain differently then others, i took it as fair as I could with pain only having the last 2 hr with the medication. As for research there is research against and for it so either way it depends on the person. I never said not having one makes you uneducated that's your words not mine. Just if your going to make a bold statement like that bothy idea should be viewed not just one. National library of medicine and national institue of medicine, states that doctors reported that out of all patients they have had who have gotten epidural only 14% resulted in a c-section, but it was not by medication means that caused that 14%. The person she was referring to was stating that getting an epiduaral resulted in a c/s.

I never said anything about punching her either my words were " I would have been a smart mouth about it".

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12-28-2012 at 10:50 AM

mattdk06

Joined on 10-20-2010

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bandwife:
Meh. This is pretty par for the course in terms of others opinions on your pregnancy/labor/parenting.
And from the other side - no epidural with DS and a planned home birth - you get still get lots of people telling you you're crazy for not getting an epidural.
Personally, I just don't discuss a lot of my choices for labor or parenting because a) it's not anyone's business but my own and b) I don't want to hear what other people think of my choices. I know myself enough and have done enough research to be confident that my choices are what's best for me and my baby.

I feel the same way. I'm a first timer trying "natural" birth - my friends think I'm nuts for not planning an epidural. If I'm in a lot of pain, I'll try other medications first. To each their own!

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12-28-2012 at 10:53 AM

amykins128...

Joined on 10-26-2009

Roswell, GA

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There is no way I would have made it through 4 hours of pushing (yes...that was JUST the pushing) to get my son out, with back to back INTENSE pitocin induced contractions, without an epidural. I probably would have ended up with a c-section WITHOUT the epidural simply because I would have given up out of exhaustion. Believe me, I felt like a "real woman" after that birth, LOL.

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12-28-2012 at 11:11 AM

Talkativ15

Joined on 10-09-2010

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side note: just read the title to the post and my blood boiled a little lol

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12-28-2012 at 11:22 AM

ungraceful...

Joined on 05-21-2008

Northern Kentucky

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Don't listen to anyone. Everyone in my family and friends think I am crazy for wanting to go med-free and keep trying to push an epidural on me. If you want an epidural get one, don't worry about what other people have to say.

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12-28-2012 at 11:27 AM

alohachris...

Joined on 07-06-2011

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My nurse said to worry more about weight and laziness leading to a c-section before you blame a epi. LOL!

Point blank ppl have their opinion, poop happens. I usually answer to those ppl "we'll see when I get in the delivery room what I do" I go in with an open mind with the goal of me and baby healthy that usually shuts ppl up

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12-28-2012 at 11:34 AM

FutureMrsT...

Joined on 08-18-2009

Pflugerville, TX

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I am choosing a natural birth, but I would NEVER EVER tell any one who chose to get an epidural that they were not a real woman, or even look down on them for getting one. I have my own reasons for choosing to not get one and they are MY reasons. there is no evidence that an epi has any negative effect on baby, so that's ridiculous that she would say that.

FTM Navy Wife since 5/22/2010

"Why do I do it?.... because nights alone aren't permanent, missing him reminds me that I'm lucky enough to have someone to miss, and because I'm not afraid to make sacrifices for true love"

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12-28-2012 at 11:34 AM

letzgoraci...

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I would have told that B**** where to get off!

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12-28-2012 at 12:27 PM

ahcantrell...

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It's all a matter of personal opinion. I'm personally not getting an epidural and using a birth center, but I'm getting so much crap about how "stupid" and "crazy" I am for choosing that.

The truth is, people are going to b*tch about anything you choose. People think it's their mission.

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12-28-2012 at 12:27 PM

lbonga1

Joined on 01-24-2010

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How annoying. One of the first things my OB told me is that she likes when her patients get epidurals because it makes it easier on them. Every woman should have the right to make their own choice and not be judged about it.

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12-28-2012 at 1:01 PM

AimnJus917

Joined on 07-25-2007

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Ugh, that sucks. Sorry you had to listen to that! That lady is whacked and I cannot believe she said those things. I will tell you that people who are pro-natural birth can sometimes be VERY passionate about it and want everyone to birth that way. Also, if it makes you feel any better, women who choose a natural birth (myself included), get pressured from the opposite side telling us we're nuts for wanting that and we'll "never be able to do it" without drugs. It goes both ways and it's frustrating! People should just keep their strong opinions to themselves and be as supportive as possible no matter what the pregnant woman wants.

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12-28-2012 at 1:03 PM

Zippydoo

Joined on 04-17-2011

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I would have said something really snotty to her....

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12-28-2012 at 1:04 PM

KateLouise

Joined on 08-24-2002

New Zealand

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I've had two wonderful natural births, and would not choose an epi for myself. I'm very pro natural births in general.

The woman who spoke to you was ridiculously obnoxious. It's a personal choice. And really, who cares how someone else gets their baby out?

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12-28-2012 at 1:30 PM

Runaway22

Joined on 10-21-2012

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Wow. Rude. What a jerk!

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12-28-2012 at 2:18 PM

stever

Joined on 04-08-2008

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Meh, people are always going to try to impose some sort of hierarchy of achievement. I've had two natural births and after the second I was talking to MIL about DH forgetting everything we learned in our birthing class before DS1 and not being derelict in his coaching duties. Her response was, "pshaw, they just stuck me in a room by myself to labor. Back in the day there were no epis or coaches or anything." Read: "stop complaining you spoiled modern girl."

I sort of took it personally until I remembered she's always sticking her foot in her mouth. Maybe that's the deal with your "real woman" lady.

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12-28-2012 at 2:59 PM

MichieU79

Joined on 10-16-2012

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Vent heard!

That lady has some nerve!
I can tell you most women who are choosing to go naturally would never try to preach their personal opinions on another. Especially since we are so in the minority and have to hear from LOTS of people how "crazy" we are for wanting to go drug-free, like its any of their business.
I am planning for an unmedicated birth but when people ask I always just say "I'll see what happens." because I don't want to deal with all the annoying comments.
Sorry you had that experience. Try not to take it personally. That lady just sounds like an idiot!
ANY woman who has every carried a baby in their belly and/or delivers their baby (no matter how-cs/epi/naturaly) are all REAL *strong warrior* women to me.
:)

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12-28-2012 at 4:31 PM

shibby00

Joined on 07-02-2009

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Lol I got an epi (that didn't work) and a c/s so clearly I'm a fake woman. What a whackadoo!

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12-28-2012 at 4:44 PM

PrimRoseMa...

Joined on 06-13-2012

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nany6115:

So I went to a birthday dinner last week for one of my mom’s friends. Of course my bump came into everyone’s conversation. This one lady decided it would be nice to tell me why I should not get an epidural. According to her, part of being a woman is giving birth and dealing with the pain of childbirth. REAL Women do not get epidurals cause it’s taking the easy way out. Also getting one will result in me getting a c-section! Really lady?! I was SO mad at everything she was saying and just wanted to hit her or something!

I just do not get what makes people think that they can tell me Im not a real woman because I choose to use an epidural. I do not think I should submit myself thru pain when there are options to help with it.

That’s it just needed to vent a bit =)

I didn't have an epidural. I don't think I am any MORE of a woman than anyone else. Helping a healthy, happy baby into the world one way or another is all that matters.

This lady is full of it and I would have said so. Real women? What are the ones that got epidurals fake women? WTF?

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12-28-2012 at 5:19 PM

Jbosarge85

Joined on 11-06-2011

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This lady I go to church with told me "Get the epidural you'll be in heaven." So I told her I'm hoping to go natural but am having an open mind. Her response... "Get the epidural, and don't let anyone give you a hard time." Umm...aren't you giving me a hard time for wanting to not get one?

I agree with pps you'd get it from both sides. People just like to shove their opinions in your face. Ignore it, have a happy healthy birth however you choose.

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12-28-2012 at 6:31 PM

Bride-hild...

Joined on 11-07-2007

Northridge, California

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Isn't it horrible that people see it fit to give medical advice for something SO personal and private? I mean, it's amazing how completely none of this is her business! I'm just so sick of advice!

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