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12-30-2012 at 12:00 AM
Mother Meg...
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Thank you notes

I've seen some posts regarding thank you notes (including one from the amazing bbg!!), but I don't know if this has been addressed specifically.

My MIL, bless her heart, is throwing me a shower for my DH's side of the family in early February. She hasn't shown me an invite list, other than ask me for my grandma's address, but I know she will be inviting some of her friends that live in the area, most of whom I don't know very well. I've seen some ladies (both for baby showers and wedding showers) come up with some creative ideas to get everyone's address for thank you notes, but I don't know what proper etiquette is in this case. I could probably just ask MIL after the shower, but is there an easier way?

Some ideas I've seen:

:: Have each attendant write their name and full address on a strip of paper to be entered into a raffle for a small gift during the shower.

:: Have everyone address an envelope to their own address, use these envelopes to send the thank you notes.

Thoughts?


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12-30-2012 at 12:34 AM
Betty&Co
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Just ask your MIL. Please don't make your guests work for their thank you note.

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12-30-2012 at 1:31 AM
graciesmur...
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MrsNorry:
Just ask your MIL. Please don't make your guests work for their thank you note.

I agree with this.

I HATE addressing my own envelope.  Also, I once went to a bridal shower where the hostess "gifted" the bride with an address book and "it was just the perfect time for her to fill it".  Huh?

I've never heard of writing down my name and address to get in a raffle, but I'd side-eye that to... unless I was 8 months pregnant and the prize was cheesecake (In which case I'd fill 50 of those slips out and ruin the purpose anyway).


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12-30-2012 at 2:29 AM
discobelle
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I would just ask your mother in law for the addresses after the shower.  Since she is mailing the invites, she should have the addresses.  It shouldn't be a big deal.

 Don't ask people to address their own thank you notes.  That looks lazy and crass.

 


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12-30-2012 at 5:56 AM
EastCoastB...
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Yeah, don't overthink this.  You should be able to ask your MIL for the addresses. 

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12-30-2012 at 8:00 AM
PrimRoseMa...
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I would let your MIL know that you need the addresses ASAP so that you can do the right thing and get the Thank You notes out promptly. I'm sure she will be happy to give you the addresses. 

I know the feeling a little bit. My church mom's group through a shower and there were some of the older ladies there that I didn't know that well. I had their first name, but they gave me gifts, and the gifts were lovely. I ended up hand delivering a lot of my thank you notes at church the Sunday after because my host didn't even know their addresses either! 


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12-30-2012 at 3:35 PM
Adam&Eve2
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The raffle is kind of a gray area I think. Filling out their own envelopes is tacky. If I were in this situation I would just ask MIL. And don't forget to keep track of who gave you what. GL!




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12-30-2012 at 4:29 PM
jbatch
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I don't think it is tacky to have people address their own cards and it is way easier.. People know you are going to be busy planning for baby so they shouldn't mind..
 
12-30-2012 at 5:26 PM
1026pumpki...
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Honestly, I think the easiest way is to ask MIL for the list she used to send out invites you'll have everyone's address in one place.

I feel like if people take the time to shop for a gift, wrap it, and attend your shower, you should take the time to make sure thank yous get mailed out to everyone.

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12-31-2012 at 11:08 AM
rhubarb123
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jbatch:
I don't think it is tacky to have people address their own cards and it is way easier.. People know you are going to be busy planning for baby so they shouldn't mind..

Sorry, you are incorrect.  People DO mind filling out their own thank  you card envelope.  I for one never fill it out...even if they try to entice me with a "door prize".  LOL  I think it gives the impression that the MTB is lazy.  Seriously, I guess it is only first time moms who thinks it takes sooooooooo much time to get ready/planning for baby.  That can be done in a day or two...really.

 
12-31-2012 at 11:31 AM
BallSox
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jbatch:
I don't think it is tacky to have people address their own cards and it is way easier.. People know you are going to be busy planning for baby so they shouldn't mind..

You're right, the purpose of a hostess is to make sure things are way easier for the guest of honor who just shows up to collect mountains of gifts. 

It takes literally NO time for a mom to be to address and write her own thank yous and even less if the dad to be helps.  If you want to make things easier for the mom to be, you volunteer to help her write, but for the love of all that is tactful, do not make the guests write their own envelopes.  Honestly, I "forget" to fill mine out if I'm asked to do so because I'd rather not get a TY than get one that I had to write myself. 


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12-31-2012 at 6:55 PM
Renee1105
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rhubarb123:

jbatch:
I don't think it is tacky to have people address their own cards and it is way easier.. People know you are going to be busy planning for baby so they shouldn't mind..

Sorry, you are incorrect.  People DO mind filling out their own thank  you card envelope.  I for one never fill it out...even if they try to entice me with a "door prize".  LOL  I think it gives the impression that the MTB is lazy.  Seriously, I guess it is only first time moms who thinks it takes sooooooooo much time to get ready/planning for baby.  That can be done in a day or two...really.

This and it's not a FTM thing. It's a tacky person thing.


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01-01-2013 at 12:04 AM
Mother Meg...
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Thank you so much, ladies. I really have no problem writing out thank you notes, and I really didn't like the other options I had found online (i.e. having people write out their own envelopes, I agree that it is tacky). I hope I don't offend anyone at the shower since I won't know everyone's names, so I'm hoping my MIL will take good notes for me when opening gifts. I know there will likely be a handful of guests whom I've never met (and many others that I don't even have last names for).


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