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12-31-2012 at 12:12 PM
Ryanswifey...
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Ryanswifey619 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:20 AMNewbie

Trying to get DH in the baby spirit

I need some advice..My DH doesnt seem really excited about our pregnancy/baby. We just got into our 2nd trimester, and I totally get that he will probably be more excited once baby is already here, but I really want him to get more involved in little things like trying to decide on nursery ideas, etc...Any ideas and suggestions would be appreciated

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12-31-2012 at 12:16 PM
llsarmy
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I know you want him more involved but some guys just are not that into it untill the baby comes. My husband has never been intrested in most of the pregnancy stuff and could care less about baby gear and nursery decor.

Think of it like this at least you can get the stuff that you want.


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12-31-2012 at 12:19 PM
nyki06
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I don't know if you're a FTM but my husband seemed the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter. I would try to include him but he just didn't really know how to be excited or part of the process. Once she got here he was the best father ever and was more excited than I thought possible. Sometimes it just takes them being here to make it real. 

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12-31-2012 at 12:20 PM
Wish82
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It's really hard for them to connect with the baby at this point. They can't really see it and can't feel it yet. My H made a comment after leaving our last Dr visit about when he heard the heartbeat that he felt like that was his one connection right now. He will come around, especially once he can feel the baby move. That was last Friday, and I've seen a stronger interest/connection since then. I know it will wane again until he sees the anatomy scan or feels it move, but that's just the way it is right now. 

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12-31-2012 at 12:20 PM
HappyMommy...
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It will come.  My DH didn't really care.  He came with me to do the registry but thats it.  Once DS was born though - it all changed.  Give him time, it will come around.    :)

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12-31-2012 at 12:46 PM
SPK926
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I think one of the worst things you can do is to try to force it. You are reminded multiple times a day that you are carrying a child, he is not. Your experience is very different from your husband's. His connection will come with time. It may happen later in your pregnancy or it might not happen until the baby is born or a few weeks after that. It will come though. This is a major change in your life and letting him adjust to the idea and do things at his own pace and in his own way is going to be way more beneficial than having you try to force him into it.

Plus, it's kind of nice if he doesn't care which crib, glider, bedding, etc. you pick out! That way you can just get what you want and not worry about compromising with your two opinions! 



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12-31-2012 at 2:03 PM
TNcardinal...
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My DH wasn't too interested, and then by chance picked up the book "The Expectant Father." It was a really fast read for him and it really turned his attitude around. Sometimes it can be a bit much when he's correcting my sleep position or telling me what I should and shouldn't eat.


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12-31-2012 at 2:50 PM
baby Gs mo...
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My husband is the same way. He keeps telling me whatever you want to do is fine. Men just really are not that into it. I am hoping that he will be wonderful once the baby comes around. My really good girlfriend bought him the book below. It is a "baby manual" but for men. It talks about everything like feeding etc but is geared for a man. Just the illustrations have made him interested in the book. They say things sarcastically. He has only read the first section and last night was rubbing my stomach, which was a SHOCK to me. Maybe this book will help him get prepared to be a Dad. I realized that it is my husband's fear that he will suck at being a dad, so I have just been trying to encourage him and not go into too many details about the nursery/registry. I will make those decisions on my own LOL and get everything I want. 

Here is the book: (she found it on Amazon) The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance


 


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12-31-2012 at 2:58 PM
evertz
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My husband has too many opinions... wanna trade? :)

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12-31-2012 at 3:11 PM
Ryanswifey...
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thanks for all the input :] Im going to be a FTM so everything seems so much more exciting for me now. I just dont want him to feel that hes being left out on anything during this process, so I try to include him as much as I can. I will definitly have to check out the books and have DH look them over :]

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12-31-2012 at 4:14 PM
AFBTB
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Just like some guys aren't into wedding planning, some guys aren't into pregnancy. It's just teh way it is. My DH is the same way. But is the most wonderful daddy to our son, and will be to this LO as well.

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12-31-2012 at 4:18 PM
elmoali
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Unborn babies and decorative stuff just aren't that interesting lol Even now on our second, DH KNOWS how amazing being a parent is, but when asked if he likes bedding he said "Honestly, I seriously don't give a crap what he sleeps in.  If you like it, buy it.  I get more on board in the older stage."  LOL  It's true.  He had fun outfitting our older son's bedroom with super hero stuff but baby stuff isn't cool.

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01-01-2013 at 7:21 AM
alilovesma...
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llsarmy:

I know you want him more involved but some guys just are not that into it untill the baby comes. My husband has never been intrested in most of the pregnancy stuff and could care less about baby gear and nursery decor.

Think of it like this at least you can get the stuff that you want.

Same thing. I don't think  DH noticed I was pregnant with our son until he popped out! He doesn't seem much better this time around. I know he'll be happy and excited once the baby arrives though. He is also just very laid back and doesn't get worked up about things. Deep down I know he is happy, but I totally understand where you are coming from. It sucks to see some dad's that are very involved during the pregnancy.


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01-01-2013 at 9:52 AM
Five_lette...
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It wasn't really "real" for my husband until our daughter was born. Once she was born, he transformed into Dadzilla and has been amazing ever since. Even though we all say "we're" pregnant, it's really just you.


 
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