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01-01-2013 at 6:56 PM
HeyDude16
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Husband at first OB appointment?

Hello all!  I'm new around here and just hit 5 weeks today.  I have my first prenatal appointment (aside from the confirmation blood test) in a couple weeks.  Is it normal for the hubby to go to that first appointment, or not until later?

 

Thanks!   :)
 
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01-01-2013 at 7:00 PM
cinderin
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DH wasn't going to go to mine, but there will be an U/S, so he wants to come, so he will. I will be 10 weeks. Likely he will sit in the lobby until the U/S.

If there wasn't going to be an U/S, I wouldn't have him come. He doesn't need to see me get a pap smear. ha ha.  
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01-01-2013 at 7:00 PM
Proudmommy...
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My husband went to every single appt with me. It made him feel better being there than to not be there
 
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01-01-2013 at 7:01 PM
adnama36
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Hi, and congrats! I'm new here too, at almost 7 weeks.  My first appointment is next Friday, and my husband is planning to go with me!
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01-01-2013 at 7:02 PM
QueSyrah
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Proudmommy0228:
My husband went to every single appt with me. It made him feel better being there than to not be there

Same here. He came to every single appointment because I think it helped him feel more involved. On the bright side, when a few slight complications came up and delivery rolled around, he was as comfortable with my OB as I was because he'd spent so much time with her.

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01-01-2013 at 7:03 PM
NikitaM84
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Mine will be going with me! We are both very excited about seeing this LO for the first time. Our first appointment is the 9th and we will be 9 weeks then.
 
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01-01-2013 at 7:05 PM
PrimRoseMa...
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Ask him. There might be a transvaginal ultrasound that he might want to see. H goes to all of my appointments and enjoys it. I think he would be upset if I excluded him. 
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01-01-2013 at 7:10 PM
nyki06
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It really depends on what it's worth to you. My husband would have to get off of work for a full day (he has a long commute) in order to make my appointments and him using his PTO isn't worth the 15 minute visit to me. I bought the babyscope app for my phone so now that I'm as far along as I am he can hear the baby's heartbeat whenever he'd like (which is the fun part of appointments anyway. 
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01-01-2013 at 7:10 PM
HeyDude16
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Thanks, ladies, this is really helpful!  I really want him to be involved, but I'm a little nervous about losing all the "mystery" in the relationship.  I know he's mature enough to handle it, but I don't like the thought of him seeing all my lady parts getting poked and prodded.  
 
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01-01-2013 at 7:12 PM
MissMusic
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HeyDude16:
Thanks, ladies, this is really helpful!  I really want him to be involved, but I'm a little nervous about losing all the "mystery" in the relationship.  I know he's mature enough to handle it, but I don't like the thought of him seeing all my lady parts getting poked and prodded.  

Let him get used to it now.  You'll have to deliver this baby so poking and prodding will be part of it.

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01-01-2013 at 7:25 PM
Washington...
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My DH went to every single one of my appts last pregnancy and will again this pregnancy.
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01-01-2013 at 7:30 PM
QueSyrah
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HeyDude16:
Thanks, ladies, this is really helpful!  I really want him to be involved, but I'm a little nervous about losing all the "mystery" in the relationship.  I know he's mature enough to handle it, but I don't like the thought of him seeing all my lady parts getting poked and prodded.  

Better not have him in the room at delivery then Wink

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01-01-2013 at 7:40 PM
MommyAmes2
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If my husband didn't have to work he would go to my first appt (its tomorrow). First appts at my OB is just paperwork though, so he isn't missing much!
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01-01-2013 at 7:41 PM
zoieglow
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No I won't have him come to the first appt. My doctor just gives a pregnancy test, calculates due date and schedules an ultrasound. He'll come to the ultrasound appointments and that's it.
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01-01-2013 at 7:41 PM
CelticWife
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DH went to all of my apts the first pregnancy, and all but 1 the second time around. I loved having him there. He could ask questions, get to know the doc, and he wasn't left in the dark when it came to delivery and the emotions leading up to it. Apparently, it was a relief to him that me crying during commercials was normal. Lol. He was very thankful to be a part of the entire messy process. And believe me, a pap is nothing compared to cervical checks by three docs in a row.
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01-01-2013 at 7:49 PM
jdandrea
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My DH came to mine. It was an hour long and asked lots of questions about family medical stuff. He was in the room while I was examined, but sat in a chair playing on his phone. My Dr. Office does night appts. So we are going to try to schedule those when possible.
 
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01-01-2013 at 7:59 PM
ashcart01
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DH will go to mine- but we get an ultrasound. He didn't go to all of them. It was pointless for him to take time off of work and practice to sit with my doctor and I for three minutes and leave. 
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01-01-2013 at 7:59 PM
kestock120
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My husband comes to appts with an u/s and my first appt has one so he'll be there. Other than that he doesn't go to them.

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01-01-2013 at 8:01 PM
HeyDude16
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DH has a really flexible work schedule, so luckily he can be there pretty easily.  He's the oldest of 8 kids, so he has a lot of baby experience.  He actually took care of his mom when she she was on bedrest with twins while he was in college.  He knows way more about the process than I do!  But I also keep trying to tell him that being a dad is different than being a brother.  

 But I feel better now knowing that it's totally normal for him to be at the appointments!  Thanks, girls!   
 
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01-01-2013 at 8:04 PM
MurphMama
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My H went to every appointment last time.  We used to make appointments on our way home from work, so it made sense and he liked going.  This time, we have another kid to consider and we no longer commute to work together, so I think he will only go to the ultrasounds and important ones.
There are usually some guys in the waiting room but mostly women alone.  It's just your preference/ comfort level.  
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01-01-2013 at 8:09 PM
Emmakins87
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My husband will be there he is a MD, and he likes other MDs to know it ( ego) and I want him there so he will go when he can. He is going with me tomorrow for our first ultrasound, I feel bad for the OB, and tech, they are going to be ambushed.
 
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01-01-2013 at 8:09 PM
elmoali
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There's no right or wrong answer.  If he's not interested and/or nothing "interesting" is planned (i.e. u/s) and/or it's hard for him to get off work, no it's not critical that he go.  Some husbands like to go to everything.  Mine went and goes only to u/s appointments because that's what works for us.
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01-01-2013 at 8:22 PM
ocnfish4
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DH will go to mine, and he did last time I was pg too. There's no pap at this one, just the u/s and meeting with the doc. I think he will probably only go to appointments when there is an ultrasound. The other times, no.
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01-01-2013 at 8:48 PM
coraggiosa
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My DH is coming to my first appointment (no U/S though) because he wants to be involved. It's a really personal thing, I think. It also comes down to whether or not he can take off for all of the appointments or not. If he can't, I'd have him save his days off for the times you get an ultrasound. 

 

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01-01-2013 at 9:03 PM
BettyBookw...
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HeyDude16:
Thanks, ladies, this is really helpful! nbsp;I really want him to be involved, but I'm a little nervous about losing all the "mystery" in the relationship. nbsp;I know he's mature enough to handle it, but I don't like the thought of him seeing all my lady parts getting poked and prodded. nbsp;


They give you a sheet usually. Also, labor pretty much will be an eye full for your H. If he has issues having sex again after viewing blood, viscera, poop and stretching anatomy have him holding you hand above the waist during your labor.

H saw it all plus my tears and stitches. We still have a great sex life!

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01-01-2013 at 9:08 PM
Lotsoflove...
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DH goes to all my ob appointments!
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01-01-2013 at 9:10 PM
aessary03
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I gave my hubby the option.  Told him he didn't have to go with me cuz it's a pap and fingers up the ute.  Told him we "might" be able to hear the heartbeat.  He said if someone was puttin' their fingers in my ute, he'd like to be there to watch.  lol, such an azz.  He's coming because he knows this stuff is important to me. And he's all about supporting my crazy, mood-swingin' azz.
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01-01-2013 at 9:11 PM
anvloveskm...
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Totally a personal preference thing.  DH went to all of mine with DD and plans to with this baby too.
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01-01-2013 at 9:30 PM
joseandsar...
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My husband has been at every appointment so far!
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01-01-2013 at 9:49 PM
Wrkn925
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My husband came to the first and is planning to come to the second. I'm going to try to talk him out of coming to all of them. I'm sure they will be boring and there's no use in both of us losing the hours at work.
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