I've been around the block a time or two. I wish I could easily answer all of your questions. I've been through two failed IVF cycles, and I ask myself these questions everyday about our upcoming third IVF cycle.
The only advice I can give is
1. Don't sweat the small stuff. You will drive yourself insane.
2. Take everything in stride. It may not work the first time, and it will be heart-breaking, but there is a chance it may. Be prepared either way.
3. Do as much research as you can and question everything. I changed Drs for my third cycle because I wasn't fully satisfied with my old RE.
4. It's okay to get mad when someone else gets pregnant. This is not an easy road. You need to do what is best for you in taking care of yourself. Remember though, that person is still a person. Be happy for them, but take care of yourself first.
I hope this helps you and good luck in your upcoming cycle.