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01-01-2013 at 10:51 PM
rachellaur...
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rachellaura86 is not online. Last active: 04-30-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie

Hubby will be on work trip 2 wks before due date

So my husband just found out that work scheduled him to travel 2 weeks before my due date. He makes this trip about 3 times a year. He will be a 2 hour plane ride away. I got really upset when he told me this. I asked him if there is any way he can talk to his company and ask if someone can go in his place, or if they can go a bit earlier. He says that no, it is not possible. He says if I go into labor, he will get a flight home right away. 

My fear is that labor with my daughter was UNDER 6 hours, and I feel like by the time he gets to the airport, books a flight, flies home, and drives to the hospital, there is a chance I might be mostly through the labor and ready to deliver. I am also fearful that I will be home alone with my 21 month old daughter by myself at 38 weeks pregnant. My parents wont be able to help out. We have some family that can help- his parents are about an hour away and Im sure they will do whatever they can to help. And I have a couple close friends who can help. However, I dont want ANY of them in the delivery room with me- I am a private person and would only feel comfortable with my hubby there- so I am scared I will end up being all alone during labor.

I understand that work is important and he may not want to rock the boat. Do you think companies should be understanding of this and allow him not to go? His company was soooo wonderful when I had my daughter (he started working for them about 2 weeks before I gave birth) and made sure not to schedule my husband for any work trips in the month or so after I had her. So I feel like he should at least talk to someone and I dont understand why he wont even make an attempt. Am I overreacting? I mean... I would have no issue if this work trip was within driving distance, or say, 4 weeks before my due date. But 2 weeks before- it is so realistic that I could have the baby while he is away. It is also frustrating that my husband doesnt seem to think this is a big deal.

 UGH! :( 
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01-01-2013 at 11:01 PM
MrsCarroll...
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MrsCarroll.6-10-07 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:57 AMGold

I would absolutely be with you. I might be a biitch for being this way, but no way in heck would I take the chance. My husband wouldn't want to either! I had a friend that had her 2nd baby with 1 1/2 hours of labor AT HOME by accident at 38 weeks. I'm having my 3rd. I'm terrified of my husband even traveling IN the state putting him 3-5 hours of car rides to get home. I told him he's going to tell his bosses to shove it and he's not traveling that far away within a couple weeks.(He totally agrees btw.)

It's 10 weeks away for you. I would stand my ground about it and tell the hubs to figure it out with work. Sucks you're in this position.

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01-01-2013 at 11:25 PM
rachellaur...
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rachellaura86 is not online. Last active: 04-30-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie
Thanks for the response. It is good knowing someone agrees with me! Wasnt sure if I was overreacting and I dont want to put him in a weird place and make him feel like he has to jeopardize his job. I am surprised my hubby is being so lax about it. I didnt deliver until I was 40 weeks 5 days pregnant with my first, so I dont know if he thinks we will have a similar situation or what.... its just frustrating.
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01-01-2013 at 11:29 PM
MrsCarroll...
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MrsCarroll.6-10-07 is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 10:57 AMGold
I know the feeling. I delivered my 2 girls at 41 weeks 2 days and that was with being induced both times. I'm freaked out this one is going to just want out sooner. =( Good luck!!
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01-01-2013 at 11:55 PM
kirac
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kirac is not online. Last active: 03-26-2013, 6:17 PMBronze

Not sure if this helps, but your 2nd birth timing is likely to be similar to your first birth (i.e. if you were early, you will probably be early, if you were late, you will be late...).  

Regardless, I would definitely want your husband to ask to reschedule at work! 

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01-02-2013 at 12:35 AM
rachellaur...
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rachellaura86 is not online. Last active: 04-30-2013, 11:37 AMNewbie
Thanks. I was induced with my first. That bit of info makes me feel a little better, but not really, because you just never know!
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01-02-2013 at 7:16 AM
knittylady
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I'm 37 weeks along now and my husband is in another country, about 16 hours away for work until the end of this week.  I made a point not to make too big a deal out of it because I knew that he was playing it cool and not trying to worry himself. 

Before he left, we set up a plan of who would drive me to the hospital, who would take care of the cats, etc., just in case.  We don't have any family close-by (ILs are 8 hours away) and my family is 6 hours away, but we have several close friends here.

I am also a private person and think that I would only want my husband in the room, but I've never been in labor so who knows if in that moment I'll be fine having somebody else in the room with me.  The only person I could even imagine besides my husband is my best pal who lives 3 hours away in NYC who already told me she is dropping everything as soon as she gets the call : )

Emmaline Winifred - January 25, 2013


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01-02-2013 at 8:40 AM
laurenbell...
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laurenbell09 is not online. Last active: 04-04-2013, 1:11 PMNewbie
Mine is out of town too....The end of 37 beginning or 38 weeks for me..... I'm just hoping it will all be good and he will be home in time.
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01-02-2013 at 9:19 AM
mrsmcdonal...
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mrsmcdonald is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 8:25 PMBronze

My husband travels for work every week, Monday through Thursday. With DD #1, he had his last trip when I was 38 weeks. She was born at 39. With this pregnancy, the time frame will probably be the same. While I know we are both worried about the possibility of me going into labor early (and we have no friends or family in the area to help), there isn't much we can do about it. It is what it is - he doesn't have much choice and giving him a hard time about it would only add to his stress. He cannot just tell his employer that he won't travel - he would likely lose his job. And honestly, we cannot afford for him to lose his job, especially in this job market. Although he's great at what he does, I'm sure his company would have no problem replacing him given the number of people looking for work right now.

I wouldn't give your husband an ultimatum or a hard time about it. He probably has no choice, and if he's like my husband, he's probably already really stressed about it - they just have a harder time talking about it. It's likely that you'll deliver around the same time as your first daughter. And although you would obviously would prefer for him to be there, at least you have friends and family in the area to help out. Maybe you could look into having a doula on call just in case he's out of town and you don't want any friends/family in the delivery room.
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01-02-2013 at 9:49 AM
saturdayni...
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saturdaynightdoubletree is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 5:00 PMSilver
I'd be super frustrated too. Did you go early with LO1? I would just cross fingers you don't go into labor while he's gone ad try to have a plan in case you do. I just found out DH will be gone for a month starting the week after baby is born, sucks, but the paycheck is how we live, so you do what you have to. As far as the company goes, I don't think they're being unreasonable... Your DH could probably take paternity leave early and avoid the trip, but that would be a waste if he's home and you don't go into labor.
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01-02-2013 at 10:40 AM
penguingrr...
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penguingrrl is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 7:18 PMPlatinum
Honestly, it's frustrating but there's not much he can do about it. This is his job, he isn't the one who is pregnant and therefore unable to travel. While it would be nice for employers to block out time around every employees' spouses due date that's just not realistic. Also, is it possible that his boss doesn't realize how close it is to your due date? I know that while this is a really important date for us a lot of employees have important life events going on at the same time and a boss may not remember exact dates of them.
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01-02-2013 at 8:29 PM
PipSqueak0...
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PipSqueak0313 is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 6:42 PMBronze
kirac:

Not sure if this helps, but your 2nd birth timing is likely to be similar to your first birth (i.e. if you were early, you will probably be early, if you were late, you will be late...).  

Regardless, I would definitely want your husband to ask to reschedule at work! 

While this was true for my first two pg (dd born around 36w1d and ds1 born at 35w6d)  Where does this info come from?  I'm curious because I keep getting a feeling that even though I'm due at the end of March this LO will be born the last few days of Feb or the first few days of March. (aka around the 35 week point)
 
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